Thinking Out Loud

The NFL season is, in and of itself, a small data sample. Just sixteen games over seventeen weeks. A key injury in week three can destroy a team’s chances to make the playoffs; a blown call in the 4^th quarter, a pass slips through a receiver’s hands into the waiting arms of a defensive back who takes it in for the winning score, a potential game-winning field goal hits the upright and falls harmlessly to the ground. All of a sudden, 10-6-0 is 7-9-0 and your fans are reenacting Act III of Oedipus Rex. That’s right; a tie is like kissing your sister and finishing out of the playoffs is like having sex with your mother.

Sorry, Bills’ fans.

Almost There

So much to play for, so little time.

Breakfast with Glenn and Steve - Late for the End of the World

The booths in The Good Egg are lacquered hard wood without cushions or covers.  The tabletops are Formica edged with brushed metal.  Plastic salt and pepper shakers flank a bowl of creamers and a small, rectangular plastic container with disheveled white, yellow, pink and blue packets of sweeteners sits on every table.  The walls are dotted with watercolor seascapes featuring lighthouses or ships under sail.  Three friends occupy a booth near the back.  They consider their menus as their fresh coffee cools in large ceramic mugs.

The Next Game Matters More than the Last Until it Doesn't

It’s been said there’s no such thing as a meaningless game to those playing the game.

Well, until midway through the second quarter and you’re down by 21 points and you remember you’re 4-10 and so far away from the playoffs you can’t even see its tail lights.

For the Kids

Sometimes I find myself wondering, what the fuck is wrong with us, anyway?

Just Football

Sometimes, we just need to forget everything but football.

Destiny Whispers

The day to day world is desperate enough without the holidays. But then the holidays come around. People you didn’t know existed are cutting you off for a parking space. Seriously, where did all these people come from? I never see them in April or August. Are they time travelers from the future? Tourists from Canada who think of New England as “south of the border?” Alien beings masquerading as Toyotas? The entire state of Colorado, all of whom are horribly, horribly lost? Why do they call them “holidays” anyway? You’re telling me this isn’t work?

Are Pro Pigskins Crazy or is it Just Me?

So, crazy weekend, huh?

Groupthink is a Bitch When You're on a Team of Losers

It’s amazing watching a game turn. What is it about some teams? You just knew the Chargers would find a way to cough up a 10 point lead – and their still beating hearts – at home against the Ravens. The Chargers were a 4^th and 29 away from winning and keeping their faint playoff hopes alive. Think about that. 4^th and 29 and they couldn’t tackle Ray Rice until it was too late. Hilarious, really. Because we all saw it coming, didn’t we?

Seems Like Old Times

A scoring play on offense, a scoring play on defense and a scoring play on special teams and it all happened with less than a minute rolling off the game clock. How delightful.

Broken Hearts and Broken Bones

Why can’t we have nice things? Peter King – despite in house expert testimony to the contrary – thinks Rob Gronkowski’s broken arm is all about Bill Belichick’ negative balance in the karma bank. Actually, King tries to have it both ways, saying that he “cannot argue” with the notion that Gronk’s fractured forearm is some form of cosmic payback for Bill Belichick’s many sins and general dickishness at the beginning of a paragraph then ending that same paragraph by saying he really doesn’t have a problem with Gronk being on the field for that fateful PAT. To quote the most condescending blowhard in pigskin punditry, “Whatever.”

Happy freakin’ Thanksgiving, Patriots Nation!

Fate is Coincidence Wrapped in Hindsight

Obligatory weekly picks…

After the jump…

Grounded

I’m trying my best not to enjoy it. The Patriots still have the Thanksgiving game with the Jets. Even if the NYJ drop a winnable game against the Rams this coming Sunday, I would still expect to see Gang Green’s best efforts at home against their hated divisional rivals. Still, it’s almost too easy. The 3-6-0 record, Mark Sanchez’s on-going struggles, a playoff guarantee followed by a lifeless defeat, followed by rumors of a teary Rex Ryan imploring his unlovable band of misfits to believe, followed by Bart Scott insisting the Jets are family even as some family members are trashing their receiving corps and calling out their second string QB. Seriously? It’s the guy who isn’t playing’s fault?

This is your defense of Mark Sanchez? That he isn’t as horrible as Tim Tebow?

Are you sure about that?

The Fault Lies Not in Our Stars But in Those Who Have Sex With Them

Groupies are everywhere and yet there don’t appear to be groupies for IT department mid-level factotum. Maybe it’s the office without windows. Hard to be seen by the trolling groupies when you don’t have a window.

I Know What Unacceptable Means

For those of us who were wondering, we now know everyone – including Norv Turner – knows the way the San Diego Chargers play football is unacceptable. Now that we have that out of the way, we can move on to assigning blame. I personally blame Tom Cruise for everything. I’m not sure what he had to do with this, but with this latest failure by the Chargers, isn’t it time something was done about Tom Cruise?

Truth or Consequences

I haven’t stopped smiling since 11:30pm Tuesday night. I’m capping off five days of electoral afterglow with Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, bagels and – yes – donuts as I watch the Sunday news programs. It’s kind of been like attending a week-long wake of that mean uncle you never really liked and listening to the vague defenses of his racist jokes, his three divorces and his innumerable lies and petty cruelties.

I’m not proud of enjoying that but I have been enjoying it.

Immensely.

The Bandwagon Leaves Promptly at 5:00pm

Nine weeks in the record books. Nine chapters complete in the novel “The Ballad of Necky McManning.” I wonder how it ends…

Mike Shanahan is Not a Quitter says Mike Shanahan

I was going to mock Mike Shanahan for being a quitter – because quitter’s never win – but then Mike Shanahan clarified his earlier comments. Apparently, everyone who interpreted Shanahan’s “now you're playing to see who obviously is going to be on your football team for years to come” comment as putting the 2012 season in the Loss column while he turns his beady eyes to 2014, 2015 and 2016 were being ridiculous.

Well, 2016 assumes a contract extension so maybe we should just leave it at 2014 and 2015.

The Enemy of My Enemy

The Bye Week is bad karma for fans. Without our home boys to root for we have little choice but to root against our division rivals. That’s purely negative energy, dude. (Can I call you “dude?”) It’s the dark side of The Force, Luke. Granted, I root for the Patriots and anyone who’s playing the Jets, Dolphins or Bills every week but over the bye there’s no positive energy from rooting for my pigskin heroes to offset the negative. Perhaps I can dull the effect with vodka.

It’s worth a try.

Turning the Corner

The Patriots had but one significant weakness. On offense they can pass or run. On defense, they were stopping the run. Their Achilles heel? The 50-yard TD pass. So, they decided to do something about it, trading for Aqib Talib. Talib comes with a first round pedigree, anger management issues and a four-game suspension for Adderall. I’m totally psyched.

Something had to be done in the defensive secondary. Picking up a 26-year old with lock-down skills qualifies as more than something. A player like Talib could stabilize the Pats back four. It could allow them to keep Devin McCourty at safety where I think he has pro bowl potential. More likely we get McCourty at corner assuming Patrick Chung and Steve Gregory return to the lineup. Alfonzo Dennard as the nickel. I’d be good with that. I think it would definitely lead to fewer 50-yard TD passes.

And what if Talib is simply a good kid who made some bad choices and just needs a second chance? Would Belichick’s good friend Greg Schiano send him a certifiable head case loser lunatic? That doesn’t seem possible, does it? I’m definitely all up on that good kid theory. What better place to turn things around than with the Patriots and their “Patriots Way” culture?

And maybe punch ups with cabbies and pharmaceutical meth were just a passing phase. Have you thought of that? I mean, who hasn’t killed a hobo?

Am I right?

Tragedy and Farce

We saw “Argo” last Saturday. It was terrific. You should definitely go see it. What does “Argo” have to do with football? Well, it’s about teamwork, in game adjustments. It’s about stepping up when all looks lost. And Ben Affleck was like the Tom Brady of that movie. Omaha! Hut-hut!

Pip Pip Cheerio

London is a long way to go to lose a football game. It’s an even longer flight back. It’s Einstein’s Law of Expectations. Time slows down as doom approaches.

Anhedonia

Apparently, there are worse things than losing. Winning so badly that Jim Nantz thinks you lost for one. Also, not being able to update your status on Foursquare because whatever, you know, what’s up with Foursquare, man?

Backpfeifengesicht

The nut punch games are the worst. You want to punch somebody but you're all doubled-over and blinded by pain. Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. It shakes your foundational belief in the tangible verities of this world. Why do bad things happen to good football fans? The Patriots have lost 3 games by a total of 4 points. Is that a good sign or a bad sign? I really hope it’s a good sign. It’s usually not a good sign when I think it’s a good sign. Anecdotally speaking. Yeah. You want to know who’s got a face that’s badly in need of a fist? Reality. Right in the nose.

Be Like Water

“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. 

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

-Bruce Lee

It's Only a Joke if it's Funny

I’m not on Twitter. I don’t tweet nor do I follow those who do. I manage to say enough stupid things without access to yet another outlet that seems designed for people to say stupid things. Like the old line about NASCAR, I think most people follow tweets waiting for a car crash to happen.

Spikes is insisting that his homophobic/arachnophobic tweet was “a joke.” We should all just chill out. Okay. Brandon Spikes is a professional football player, not an elected official, not a spokesman for a political party, not a captain of industry or a religious leader for any of the major world religions. Should we be surprised that a professional football player is homophobic? Does that mean we should just shrug it off?

I don’t think so.

By the time this has been posted, Brandon Spikes may have realized that telling us all we were too dumb or sensitive to get the joke wasn’t really where he should’ve gone. Maybe he will have posted the apology he needs to make.

I hope it isn’t one of those “If I hurt anyone’s feelings…” non-apology apologies.

Just say, “I’m sorry.”

Just say, “My words were thoughtless and hurtful and I apologize to those I offended.”

Just say, “I’m not a perfect person but I will learn from this and strive to do better. I hope those that I hurt can forgive me.”

At the very least, admit it wasn’t a very good joke.

Breakfast with Glenn and Steve - A Conspiracy of Omelets

The booths in The Good Egg are lacquered hard wood without cushions or covers.  The tabletops are Formica edged with brushed metal.  Plastic salt and pepper shakers flank a bowl of creamers and a small, rectangular plastic container with disheveled white, yellow, pink and blue packets of sweeteners sits on every table.  The walls are dotted with watercolor seascapes featuring lighthouses or ships under sail.  Three friends occupy a booth near the back.  They consider their menus as their fresh coffee cools in large ceramic mugs.

Buffaloney

As the Good Doctor once said, “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” So tell me, who had the NFC West as the best division in the NFL, 2012 edition?

Game of the Beast

When I predicted in the preseason that this Houston vs. New York game would be the game that Tim Tebow came off the bench and led the Jets to a comeback win that would send Mark Sanchez to the bench, I had no idea that it would be the 666th Monday Night Football game. Let's face it, if there was ever a football team that needed Jesus to save them, it's the 2012 New York Jets. So, who you got? Yahweh or Mr. Scratch?

Sunday Morning Sweats

The Broncos seem to have Hall of Famers up and down the roster. Even though I’ve seen this before – Bill Belichick penning love letters to Peyton Manning and Champ Bailey, Tom Brady tossing plaudits at Von Miller and Elvis Dumervil – I can’t help succumb to the feelings of fear, uncertainty and dread engendered by the realization that Belichick and Brady are right about this Broncos team. Oh, the fact the Brady Bunch hung 40+ on this Broncos’ defense the last two times they’ve played? Thankfully I have straw to cling to in this whirlwind.

Perhaps some ukulele music to cheer me up…

Putting September in the Rear View

No, it’s not too late, even if you’re 0-4-0. Well, unless you’re 0-4-0 and you’re the Cleveland Browns. In that case, yeah, too late.

It Got Better

Sorry I didn't post this sooner but I was drunk on football. Oh yes and tequila.

It Got Better

It was as a beautiful autumn day in New England. Good times.

So many pigskin heroes for the Patriots on Sunday. No, they won’t score 50+ points every Sunday and yes, they did give up 28 points and had more than a few shaky moments on defense but I’m going to roll in this one like a dog with a dead fish.

The Former Fastest Gun in the West

Paul Simon wrote that “every generation throws a hero up the pop charts.” There’s been plenty of attention paid to the NFL’s young guns over the first month of the 2012 campaign. Washington may be first in war, first in peace and last in the NFC East but RG III is #1 in fantasy football. Some Pigskin Pundits and Bobbleheads think Ryan Tannehill actually outplayed Mark Sanchez (albeit in a losing effort) last Sunday. If it’s better to be lucky than to be good, you’ve got to like Russell Wilson. Christian Ponder just faced down the Legion of Doom-level defense of the San Francisco 49ers and came away with the win. Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan look like they’ve made the leap to elite. I woke up this morning wondering, “What ever happened to that Necky McManning feel-good comeback triumph against all odds Oscar favorite biopic? Did the studio put that production in turnaround?”

Fourth and a Long Way to Go

I have a feeling Tom Brady has packed his angry eyes for the trip to Buffalo. Perfect Tommy has been holding everyone – himself included – responsible for the predicament New England finds itself in. 1-2-0. Bunking with Miami in the AFC East basement. (Ugh. I feel like I need to take a shower.) I get it. If the Patriots are going to get out of this hole, they’re going to have to do it themselves. Nobody feels sorry for them. It won’t be easy. It's never easy.

Unlikely is Closer to Likely than Impossible

I realized this afternoon that when your team isn’t playing, football is awesome. Three OT games including the unintentional comedy that is the New York Jets. The Red Zone was positively manic as the 1:00pm games finished up. It’s starting to come together. Oh, sure. There are still many twists and turns ahead of us on our pigskin journey but it’s safe to say we know where we’re going.

Adversity Isn't Just a River in Egypt

Work, drink, write. Work, drink. Work, drink. Work, drink. Work, drink. Work, drink, write. Hmm. My work, drink, write balance is seemingly out of balance. I know why I work (money) but I don’t know if I know why I drink (thirsty?) or write (yeah, I got nothing). Perhaps I drink and I write for the same deep dark secret reason. Something that happened in my childhood, something repressed for good reason. Okay, I may be overdramatizing. After all, my idea of adversity is running out of space on my DVR.

It Can Go Either Way But Probably Not

Maybe this is the game the Patriots point back to and say, that was the game that changed everything for us; that was the game that made us look in the mirror, dig even deeper, drove us to become champions. Maybe not. For now, I'd rather we simply agree not to talk of it. Ever. I might have to go into media blackout on Monday. 

One other thought...

I don't know what really went down with Bountygate, but it seems clear the Pigskin Gods are not happy with the New Orleans Saints. 

Back on Planet Earth

Jay Cutler soils himself on national television. Surprised? Bemused? Disappointed? Whatever. All wins count the same. All losses, too. 1-1-0. Same record as the Packers. So shake it off, Jay Cutler. Rub some dirt on it. Kill a hobo. Whatever you gotta do. Time to move on.

Every Meal a Banquet

I’ll say this for the NFL. It never fails to satisfy.

The First Course

The Dallas v. New York game was an amuse-bouche of pigskin. It’s always uncomfortable rooting for America’s Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and honestly I was shocked to see that clutch first down to seal the game let alone Romo pitching for +300 and 3 scores. In short, I am not a Cowboys’ fan. I have routinely predicted a Patriots victory over the Cowboys in the Super Bowl because such an outcome would stimulate my frontal cortex in a highly pleasing way. But there’s something about the Giants that bugs me. I can’t quite put my finger on it.  

Waiting for Sunday

Waiting and hoping. Zero sacks for Tom Brady. Four touchdown passes to four different receivers. A hundred yard rushing day for Stevan Ridley. A sack for Chandler Jones and another for Dont’a Hightower. An interception for Devin McCourty. Patriots 41, Titans 3. Is that too much to ask? All right. 41-10?

Breakfast with Glenn and Steve - Once More with Feeling

The booths in The Good Egg are lacquered hard wood without cushions or covers.  The tabletops are Formica edged with brushed metal.  Plastic salt and pepper shakers flank a bowl of creamers and a small, rectangular plastic container with disheveled white, yellow, pink and blue packets of sweeteners sits on every table.  The walls are dotted with watercolor seascapes featuring lighthouses or ships under sail.  Three friends occupy a booth near the back.  They consider their menus as their fresh coffee cools in large ceramic mugs.

52 of 53

I guess all good things do come to an end. Godspeed Deion Branch. Matt Cassel is going to love you. Here’s to all the good times, Dan Koppen. Some team out there needs a center. Some team always needs a center.

Sui Generis X 2

They are utterly different and utterly unique. Okay, that’s redundant. But poetical. Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez are gonna love us long time. In a pigskin way. What were you thinking?

75

I guess whoever said this team wasn’t the 2007 Patriots was right. Adios, Jabar. Arrivederci, Donte. Goodbye, goodbye to Rome…

Evaluations and Expectations

I know you’ve heard it before. I’ve said it myself. It’s just the preseason. They aren’t game-planning. It’s about building the roster, not winning the games. Somehow it’s just not as reassuring after the third preseason game as it was after the first.

Dreaming of September

The good news has piled up over the last few days. First, Logan Mankins put on pads and got to work. Then the Patriots signed world class sprinter Jeff Demps (despite the oblations of the Jets and former Florida teammate Tim Tebow). Now we’re hearing that OT Sebastian Vollmer and TE Daniel Fells will be activated and begin practicing next week. How psyched am I? I’m actually counting the hours to kick-off Monday night, knowing full well I won’t see anything of Demps other than college and Olympics clips and with the near certain expectation of Brian Hoyer starting at QB.

Still Waiting

How do we know its preseason? The Cleveland Browns beat the Green Bay Packers 35-10.

A Sip of Kool-Aid

Time for a tall, icy cold glass of Belichick Kool-Aid.

Jaws

No, not the character in the Bond movies. It’s Shark Week! And "Jaws" is finally out on Blu-Ray. I still can’t believe they couldn’t get the disc out for the 4^th of July. Five years ago. Did I mention it’s Shark Week?

Already Gone

Wins aren’t nearly as important in the preseason as hope. The Raiders lost to the Cowboys 3-0 but with Darren McFadden looking like he’s fully recovered from the injuries that ended his 2011 season, Oakland fans have got to feel a lot better about their team’s chances than the good citizens of Dallas do today. Tony Romo looked like whatever the opposite of elite is. The good news for fans of America’s Ex-Girlfriend? According to Romo, they tried hard. Wait a minute. That’s not good news. If you’re trying hard and you look that bad it is definitely not good news.

One Thing

To Plax or not to Plax? That is the question. For Monday, anyway. Plaxico Burress coming in for a workout and Chad Johnson on the market bail has Patriots Nation thinking. Granted, it has most of us thinking we’d rather hear about a solid veteran offensive lineman coming in for a workout than a 35-year old ex-con wide receiver but solid veteran offensive lineman are apparently a lot harder to come by than 35-year old ex-con wide receivers.

It Gets Better or It Gets Worse Unless of Course It Stays the Same

I guess those of us in Patriots Nation who were actually worried the Artist Formerly Known as Ochocinco would have a career resurgence in Miami can relax. The once and future Chad Johnson dropped the only pass thrown his way in the Dolphins opening preseason game then went home and “bumped heads” with his wife. Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Whatever. Chad may still might have a career resurgence, just not in Miami.

Here's None for You Nineteen for Me

How do you know a politician is lying?

His lips move.

Finding Meaning in Meaninglessness

The best thing about preseason games? They don’t count. The worst thing about preseason games? Players can still suffer a season-ending injury.

Almost Real

We get our pigskin amuse-bouche tonight, as the Patriots play their first preseason game of 2012. As is usually the case, if the Patriots play well, I will be surfing a 40-foot wave of wild optimism. If they struggle, well hey, it’s early, you know?

Breakfast with Glenn and Steve - A New Hope

The booths in The Good Egg are lacquered hard wood without cushions or covers.  The tabletops are Formica edged with brushed metal.  Plastic salt and pepper shakers flank a bowl of creamers and a small, rectangular plastic container with disheveled white, yellow, pink and blue packets of sweeteners sits on every table.  The walls are dotted with watercolor seascapes featuring lighthouses or ships under sail.  Three friends occupy a booth near the back.  They consider their menus as their fresh coffee cools in large ceramic mugs.

Living the Dream

Injuries will have an impact. Replacement refs will blow a call. Prima donnas will melt down. The NFL celebrates parity and I’m sure Roger Goodell had a party in his pants when a 9-7-0 team won the Super Bowl. What happens at the dance is unpredictable but who goes to the dance – the starting QB and the head cheerleader, the nerd who secretly has the dope dance moves and his ugly duckling girlfriend who turns out to be Emma Stone – isn’t that hard to predict, is it?

Fight Club

The first rule of Fight Club is, Don’t Talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is, Don’t Talk about Fight Club. The third rule of Fight Club is, Take a Lap, Son.

Can We Really Make God Feel Sad?

I’m generally suspicious of people who say they know what God is thinking. Mostly because I’m an atheist and so what I think is, “Oh, you have an imaginary friend named Yahweh who tells you what to do. That pretty much ticks all the boxes on the crazy questionnaire, doesn’t it?”

60K Rounds of Ammo

Have I waited long enough?

What What What

Am I back where I belong? Where have I been? Really, who cares? It is what it is. Anyway. Finally. Football. Full pads football. Now is the Summer of Gronk made glorious autumn by this Coach of Belichick.  It’s all going to be all right after all.

Commercials Brainwash

Okay, it's been a while. Between tapdancing for the man (day job) and wrestling with my laptop (if there's a computer version of narcolepsy, my machine apparently has it) I haven't been very productive in a right-brain sense lately. Enter my beloved daughter Rachael with some fresh content...

It is 2012and I am twenty-one years old. This will be the first time I will be able to vote for who I think should be running the country and be a part of the government. And up until a little while ago I have to say that there was onlyone person that had my complete confidence. Sadly I have to tell that now I am not so impressed.

Everything is Obvious After the Fact

Thanks to the hard-hitting, incisive journalism that has long been the hallmark of SI.com; we now know that Tom Brady enjoys having sex with his Brazilian supermodel wife, Giselle Bundchen. Sure, I know we all suspected but now we know. So, what is that? Reason #1,821 for Jets’ fans to hate Tom Brady? Yeah. Reason #1,821.

A Glimpse of Hell is Proof of Heaven

I am an IT Professional by day (and yes, a masked crime fighter by night) and spent the last week at Microsoft’s TechEd conference in Orlando, Florida. At least, this was the advertised purpose. I suspect it was really a sociological experiment in which thousands of introverts are gathered together in an enclosed space and observed as they are forced to interact with each other in meeting rooms, at the cattle call breakfasts and lunches and the permanent queues at the men’s rooms. Orlando is, by my calculations, the Las Vegas of the East, with theme parks in place of casinos; unbearable heat, overpriced drinks, $40 entrees and air conditioned air redolent with desperate attempts to buy even a few moments of happiness. To cap the four and a half days of presentations and discussions about technologies, architectures, markets and trends, we were treated to an evening at Universal’s Islands of Adventure. It was here I caught a glimpse of Hell as I realized that if Hell exists it must certainly be a personalized experience. Mine would be a place where I am surrounded by thousands of people riding roller coasters.

Optimistic

As a New England sports fan, I am genetically pre-disposed to pessimism. This, despite the fact that I was not born here. Perhaps I moved to New Hampshire sensing it was a place where like-minded people would be accepting of my feelings that doom is the natural end-state for all human beings and that life is all about preparing us for that. Still, we are not merely simple mechanisms that repeat the same patterns of behavior and reiterate the same words until they ultimately become the thematic catch phrases of our individual lives. We are complex, non-linear beings and even someone as unsentimental about the state of the world as me occasionally succumbs to unbridled optimism.

And yes, that’s easy to say looking out the front bay windows of my three bedroom house as the spring rain does its very best to green up my front lawn.

Redemption Songs

Does a first ballot Hall of Fame quarterback need redemption? Apparently so. And he’s not the only one.

Breakfast with Glenn and Steve - A Beautiful Light

The booths in The Good Egg are lacquered hard wood without cushions or covers.  The tabletops are Formica edged with brushed metal.  Plastic salt and pepper shakers flank a bowl of creamers and a small, rectangular plastic container with disheveled white, yellow, pink and blue packets of sweeteners sits on every table.  The walls are dotted with watercolor seascapes featuring lighthouses or ships under sail.  Three friends occupy a booth near the back.  They consider their menus as their fresh coffee cools in large ceramic mugs.

Rooting for Nate

I finally got around to looking for the YouTube video of Nate Ebner that Patriots Nation has been chattering about and before I got to his rugby highlights I found this. I know Nate Ebner is not the first athlete who has suffered personal tragedy (not even the only one on the Patriots) or had to overcome difficulties in their life. Maybe it was that I was expecting to see rugby but instead I was faced with really real life; a good man struck down senselessly and a son left to deal with the rest of his life without his father. Even before I started watching the video below, I knew I’d be rooting for Nate Ebner.  After watching it, I realized just how easy that was going to be…

Oh, and for all those Pigskin Pundits and Bobbleheads who questioned using a 6^th round pick on a rugby player? Yeah, Bill Belichick is smarter than you.

The Truth Hurts

Ignorant?  Disrespectful?  He did call the Jets defense the best in the league.  You know what's been lost in the juvenile trash talk and sanctimonious smack?  Bill Belichick, father of the year, sharing a tender moment with his son.

Say Ow

His name was an affirmation of the game he played. Say Ow. He played linebacker in the NFL for 20 years.  Not quarterback.  Linebacker.  He played 268 games and made 1,526 tackles.  Maybe that was too many. Just three years after he played his last game, Junior Seau is dead.

Haters Gonna Hate

I think it’s pretty classy of Jim Harbaugh to make an actual apology apology. I hate the non-apology apology. You know what I mean. If I offended anyone. If you offended anyone? Why else do you think you’re apologizing, exactly?  As far as it goes, Harbaugh was right about one thing. Haters gonna hate. If you’re still tagging your tweets with #Cheatriots or #Belicheat you don’t need John Harbaugh to tell you to continue wallowing in your pathetic, red-eyed recriminations, sobbing and bleating “Why, God, why?”

Those guys are such a bring down.

These guys are a cool breeze.

In Bill We Trust

When your team goes completely off the board and drafts a kid that SI.com doesn’t even have a picture of, you tell yourself that genius is the exception, not the rule.  Maybe they see something in this young man that other teams didn’t.

Reaching

We knew the first two picks long before Roger Goodell had been showered with boos by restive Jets fans as he walked to the podium.  I guess we knew the first four picks – though not in order – as Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin III, Trent Richardson and Matt Kalil were taken by Indianapolis, Washington, Cleveland and Minnesota, who looked into the box and found hope. 

WWBD

What would Bill do?  Or more appropriately, what will Bill do?  Nobody seems to know. I don’t think even Belichick knows what Belichick will do.  He has so few peers he sometimes has to play mind games with himself. He doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.

Waiting for 27 and 31

If judged by the commentariat in the Google Machine, one might think Bill Belichick had – with the exception of that flier on a certain Michigan QB – drafted nothing but busts as an NFL head coach.  This hardly seemed possible given the Patriots success during the Belichick era but other than a few, “I think if you look at other teams you’d find as many busts,” or “Nobody had a good draft in 2006” defenses of Belichick’s record (and saying you’re no worse than others is hardly a ringing endorsement), it seemed to be the consensus of the hive brain that Belichick sucked at drafting NFL-quality football players. 

So, it was with some interest that I perused this piece on Cleveland.com, asserting Bill Belichick’s mastery of the draft board. 

Second Thoughts

I’ve been here before.  We’ve all been here before.  Students shot and killed by a classmate.  A politician and supporters shot by just another nut with a gun.  A teenager killed for dressing like Bill Belichick.  A police chief killed in a drug bust gone wrong.  No matter the circumstance, the voices defending guns and the law abiding citizens who possess them rise in chorus to a largely empty public square.  The pen may be mightier than the sword, but it’s no match for an M-16.

Breakfast with Glenn and Steve - Safety

The booths in The Good Egg are lacquered hard wood without cushions or covers.  The tabletops are Formica edged with brushed metal.  Plastic salt and pepper shakers flank a bowl of creamers and a small, rectangular plastic container with disheveled white, yellow, pink and blue packets of sweeteners sits on every table.  The walls are dotted with watercolor seascapes featuring lighthouses or ships under sail.  Three friends occupy a booth near the back.  They consider their menus as their fresh coffee cools in large ceramic mugs.

Counting the Days

Koppen has re-signed. We all know nothing will happen with Welker until just before training camp opens. So, we can all pull out our calendars and start (if you haven’t already) crossing off the days until the NFL Draft opens and Roger Goodell walks to the podium as a mix of unenthusiastic applause salted with boos rises from the crowd.  Has the NFL ever thought of having Billy Crystal host the draft?  “Luck be a first pick tonight!  Luck be a first pick tonight!  If Mel and Todd think you’re the QB of the future, Luck be a first pick tonight!” 

Maybe Jimmy Fallon?  "Stanford's where I'm coming from.  My lucky number's one..."

April is the Cruelest Month

I've reached the point where my paranoia grows with each new mock draft.  Draft prospects have been deconstructed; parsed into 40s and cone drills and bench reps, vertical and standing long jump.  This one isn’t the ideal height for an OLB.  This one already has four kids.  This one is inconsistent.  That one has short arms.  This one had a poor combine but an excellent pro day.  This one's production dropped off his senior year.  That one didn’t play against big time competition.  This one is a one-year wonder.  And those are the Top 15; they’ll certainly be gone by the time the Patriots trade the #27 pick for a 3^rd and a 4^th this year and a 1^st next year. 

Second Chances

It’s hard to get too excited when your team’s big move is picking up a former first round pick who is just the “t” away from officially be labeled a bust.  Somebody saw something in Bobby Carpenter seven years ago.  Who knows?  Maybe it’s still in there.

Catching Up

How much does it suck to be Mark Sanchez?  I’m setting the over/under on Tebow taking over as the Jets starting QB at Game 5. 

Rogerball

Good King Roger has spoken.  All are punished!

Song for the Dumped

So, your girl dumps you.  For George Clooney.  Does that make it feel any better?  I mean, he is George Clooney.

Counting Chickens

If Brandon Lloyd can put up his Josh McDaniels-average numbers, the Patriots offense should set the over/under at 37 points a game.  Count me in on the Josh McDaniels assumption.  (I’ll bet the over.)  Lloyd will put up monster numbers in New England.  He put up 1,448 yards with 11 TDs with Kyle Orton winging it.  We may certainly dream of better things with Tom Brady pulling the trigger. 

Here’s a nice summary of Patriots’ moves so far.  It’s quite reassuring.  As noted above, I have totally bought into the Brandon Lloyd/Josh McDaniels bromance.  With Brady throwing and Welker, Gronkowski, Hernandez and Lloyd catching the Patriots offense could put up impressive numbers. 

I hope the Lloyd signing convinces Matt Light and Brian Waters to come back for a run at Super Bowl XLVII.  Just like Elwood and Jake.  Let’s get the band back together.  On offense anyway.

Patriots vs. 49ers (assuming they sign Manning) in Super Bowl XLVII.  Magic.

My new favorite song…

The Improbable Sometimes Becomes the Inevitable

Manning to Moss.  It could happen.  The Niners already have Moss under contract and they also appear to be one of the three finalist for Peyton Manning’s rose.  It seems highly improbable that both Manning and Moss should enjoy a career renaissance with San Francisco.  In some regards, either one independently seems a longshot.  Moss is coming off a disgraceful 2010 performance followed by a year of inactivity.  Manning is coming off 4 neck surgeries (estimated).  And yet, Peyton Manning signing with the 49ers would seemingly guarantee a Super Bowl run for San Francisco in 2012, with or without a significant contribution from Moss.  If Moss can contribute (let’s set the over/under at 12 touchdowns) the 2012 season could become its own chapter in the Book of Football. 

The Patriots Make Their Move

This is what it means to be a Patriots' fan.  Our big splash on Day 1 of Free Agency is re-signing Nicky Constantinople. What?  Niko Koutouvides.  Whatever.  Rumor has it Mario Williams is visiting Buffalo.

Sanchize Tag

Instead of trying to put together a bid for the NFL’s Mr. Call Me, I’m Available (Peyton Manning), the Jets have decided on a re-commitment ceremony with the NFL’s Mr. You’re Not the Worst That I’ve Seen (Mark Sanchez).  Hey, we all got to go along to get along sometime in our lives.

It's the Money

Bountygate? Really? Are we diminishing the brand, yet? Does Watergate still mean anything? (Answer in the form of a question: What was the first “-gate?”) Okay, whatever. Bountygate. Let’s go there.

Gregg the Bounty Hunter

I realized this morning that I had been waiting four years to hear or read the phrase “worse than Spygate.”  I didn’t really know I'd been waiting for it till I read it; it was an unnamed yearning, a cough in a quiet theater, a strumming acoustic guitar that promised thrashing windmill power chords. 

Standing in the Shadows

I know I shouldn’t waste my time thinking about this, but according to the draft value chart, the Patriots could package their 27^th and 31^st picks for the #11 pick.  The Chiefs pick at #11…  The Seahawks pick at #12.  Who do you want that you need to move up to #12?  Do they want Michael Brockers that badly?  I would think a player they rank in the Top 5 would have to drop inexplicably past Kansas City.  A deal with Philadelphia at #15 to take Courtney Upshaw away from the Jets?  Yeah, I’m that spiteful.

Noodly Arm

Peyton Manning has a noodly arm.  Peyton Manning can’t throw to his left.  Peyton Manning had a fourth surgery that was previously undisclosed for undisclosed reasons.  Peyton Manning is almost a year past his Best If Used By date.

Or…

Peyton Manning will lead the Arizona Cardinals to Super Bowl XLVII.  Unless he renegotiates that $28,000,000 bonus and remains with the Indianapolis Colts team that is in full on rebuilding mode and probably finishes 8-8-0 and out of the playoffs in 2012.  Does Peyton Manning really want to finish his last home game as a Colt listening to a crowd chanting “We want Luck!  We want Luck!”?

Some Dance to Remember, Some Dance to Forget

Rob Gronkowski had surgery on ankle. The 2012 season has begun. Time to get back on the pony.  We'll get on the horse later; we can just start with a pony for now.

Breakfast with Glenn and Steve - Natural One

Young’s Restaurant was busy for a Tuesday morning.  After a short wait we were seated and ordered coffee.  I was looking forward to a short stack of blueberry pancakes with a side of bacon.

Every New Beginning

Losing sucks.  Hardly a head slapper, I know.  It just happens to be the lede this sunny but cold February Monday.

They Will or They Won't but I Think They Will

I’ve been in a self-imposed media blackout for the last three days.  I’d like to say I’ve achieved some kind of Zen peace of mind; that I stand composed in the eye of the hurricane, shoulders back and chin up, ready for whatever may come. 

Seriously, I’d like to say that. 

I’d be lying, of course.

Computers are Never Good Guys in the Future

The EA Sports simulation of Super Bowl XLVI on Madden 12 predicts a 27-24 Giants win.

It looks bad for the virtual Patriots.  The Madden simulation is 6-2 in its last 8 Super Bowl which everyone knows is better than Tom Brady’s record in his last 8 playoff games.

Can we really trust these computers, though?

The HAL 9000 killed Dr. Frank Poole and (apparently) slipped acid into Dr. Dave Bowman’s coffee.  Skynet created a cyborg army to kill they entire human race.  Nomad was bent on the destruction of planets across the known universe.  Colossus had a “sinister agenda of its own.”  The Matrix turned us all into AA batteries.

And after all of that, I’m supposed to trust Madden 12?

It's Doom Alone That Counts

Just one week into the two week break between conference championships and Super Bowl Sunday and I’m not sure I’m going to make it.  Despite the early line that gave the Patriots a 3.5 point advantage over the Giants, the Pigskin Pundits and Bobbleheads have convinced me.  New England has no chance to win their fourth Vince Lombardi Trophy in Super Bowl XLVI.

The Enemy of my Enemy

Has Bill Belichick given his rival and friend Mike Shanahan a call?  The Giants beat the Patriots during the regular season.  They split with the Eagles.  They swept the Cowboys.  But New York could not beat Washington.  With Rex Grossman at quarterback.  The last game the Giants lost was a road test on FedEx Field.  With Rex Grossman at quarterback.  Wouldn’t you want to know how that happened?

Everything Ends Badly

I’ve heard that everything ends badly; otherwise, it wouldn’t end.  The corollary is that if something is going to end badly, it’s best it end quickly.  At the very least, by March 8^th.

Redemption

It makes for good TV I suppose but four years hence, is Super Bowl XLVI really a rematch?  Are there really some unseen forces at work in this year’s Patriots playoff run?  Will the 2011 “Three Games to Glory” DVD end with a slow-motion montage of highlights set to Bob Marley’s “Redemption Song?”  (More likely Boston’s “More Than a Feeling.”)  It’s undeniable that emotion plays a part in the outcome of NFL games.  Not as much as a good game plan well executed on game day, of course.

“I think we’ve talked about all that. It was a long time ago. I have a lot of comments on the record after the game and everything else. You can go back and look at all the things that happened then or some other year.”

-      Bill Belichick, responding to a question about David Tyree’s catch in Super Bowl XLII