Clarity Always Comes Too Late

The playoff picture seems to be coming into focus.  So soon.  Perhaps, but the math starts to get simple with five games to go. If the Bengals go 3-2-0 down the stretch to finish 10-6-0, the Jets would need to win out to avoid tie-breakers.  If I’m a Jets’ fan I would have to believe the Jets can do just that; at ‘Skins, Chiefs, at Eagles, Giants, at Dolphins.  As a Patriots’ fan, I’m looking forward to Miami knocking the Jets out of the playoffs with a last second field goal.  As for the NFC, with all those cars swapping paint in turn number three, I’m still waiting for the inevitable three car pile-up coming out of turn four to sort things out.

Thank You, Mr. Lincoln

Before I forget, let me wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.  All holidays are stressful, of course, but Thanksgiving has turkey, which is a de-stressing protein (it’s science!), which makes it awesome.  Also gravy, which triggers those areas of your brain that tell you what you’re doing is so, so right.  I don’t put anything on my plate that shouldn’t be covered with turkey gravy.  Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, biscuits and in a pinch, peas.  Hold the cranberry sauce.  I just can’t find out cranberry sauce is good with gravy on it, too.

I bet that’s what they eat in Heaven on Thanksgiving Day.  Solid gold bowls filled to the brim with cranberry sauce and turkey gravy.

They Call Him Tim

He just wins.


It's the only argument I need, Shawn!

Suck it, haters.

Just Another Post

Beware your worst fear; it will always come true.

Who said that?

You didn’t invite him to the party, did you?

I Can't Look Away

I know I shouldn’t let myself enjoy this.  I’m swilling a dry schadenfreude martini with a twist of lemon.  I will pay for it.  And yet, it is so, so very delicious.  I think I'll have another.

That Was Awesome

I didn’t see that coming.  Not with the way the Patriots had played lately.  Not with the Jets on a three-game roll.  Not in Jersey.  More importantly, I think I had a flashback to 2001 watching Rob Ninkovich do his best Mike Vrabel impersonation.  Andre Carter looked a little bit like Willie McGinest, didn’t he?  That felt reassuring.  But I don’t know who you compare Rob Gronkowski to.  Yeah, that’s pretty reassuring, too.  And Tom Brady kind of looks like Tom Brady. 

The Future Writes Itself

Like so many other things, the Albert Haynesworth era in New England ended exactly as we all thought it would; not with a bang but a whimper.  I know many a citizen good and true of Patriots Nation is angry and I don’t blame them but do we really want to gnaw this bone?  What are you supposed to do with all those 5^th round draft picks the Patriots are always stockpiling?  Belichick took a chance.  It didn’t work out.  He’s cutting his losses.  I’m more sad than anything else.  There was a small part of me that hoped over reason that Haynesworth would be 80% of what he once was in his days as a Tennessee Titan.  It’s too bad that didn’t happen.  That would’ve been a Sandra Bullock movie.  Life is not a Sandra Bullock movie though (even if it is based on a true story).  No, life is a William Friedkin movie. 

Deep Breath

The key to dealing with adversity is to maintain perspective; take a deep breath.  The other key is to remember to exhale.  Otherwise you pass out and you might hit your head on something sharp, like the corner of a coffee table.  No, wait.  The key to dealing with adversity is a slap in the face.  That will chill your shit out in a hurry.

Blue Monday

Why does football got to be so bad?  I don't know but it does.  What's to be done about it?  I'm not really sure but I'm reminded of the razor sharp insight of "Bleeding Gums" Murphy when he told Lisa Simpson, "the Blues isn't about about feeling better.  It's about making other people feel worse."

Suck it, world.

Life is a Metaphor for Football

I have a friend who says that football isn’t a metaphor for war; it’s the story of a man trying to find his freedom.  I’m not sure I know what he means but I suspect he’s right.  Whenever I hear football compared to war it bothers me.  I’m not sure we should compare anything to war.  Except war.  That’s the list.

The Greatest Man That Ever Lived

The Packers are back from their bye week.  That’s why I felt so empty last week!  No, wait.  I had that empty feeling because my pigskin paladins were junk-punched by a bitter rival last Sunday right before my horrified eyes.