Almost There

So much to play for, so little time.

 

The Giants have looked the opposite of awesome the last two weeks. Regardless, they are still mathematically alive for a wild card spot. All they need to do is beat the Eagles at home and hope that Dallas, Chicago and Minnesota all lose. That’s a significant number of variables but would you be surprised if it happens? Dallas will almost certainly lose to Washington, Green Bay will be playing for the #2 seed and a first round bye in Minnesota and Chicago’s last best hope is that a gimped up Brian Urlacher can play and make a difference when they visit Detroit. Giants in the playoffs? It almost writes itself.

Giants 37, Eagles 16

Skins 34, Cowboys 13

Matt Stafford should just throw the ball to Calvin Johnson on every single snap. Okay, maybe that’s just me.

Lions 30, Bears 17

Packers 38, Vikings 20

So, what’s the deal with the Steelers? After a 6-3-0 start, Pittsburgh closed the door to the playoffs with a 1-5-0 run in weeks 11 through 16. Their eight defeats include losses to the Raiders, Titans, Browns and Chargers; all games they should’ve and would’ve won in any other year; they would’ve beaten the Bengals at home in any other year but instead they punched their ticket to Palookaville with a desultory 13-10 loss.

The once vaunted Steelers running game ranks 26^th in the NFL; their offensive line is not very good and in a related note, Ben Roethlisberger is breaking down. From 2006 to 2009 he was sacked 47, 46, 47 and 50 times; he was sacked 32 times in 2010 in just 12 games, 40 more times in 2011 and 32 and counting through 12 games played in 2012. He’s playing with a partially torn rotator cuff in his throwing shoulder, cracked ribs and sundry other injuries, which doesn’t sound all that different from the ghosts of Big Ben’s Christmases past.

Time to blow this thing up? At the very least they need to fire offensive coordinator Todd Haley, who set his personal best for wearing out his welcome in just his first season in Pittsburgh. It might be a good idea to start thinking about the next QB of the Future, too.

Merry Christmas Steelers’ fans! Hang your Terrible Towels on the tree tops with care! Your team is now officially the third best team in the AFC North!

Still way better than the fourth best team.

Steelers 27, Browns 13

Who are the backup QB’s for Cincinnati and Baltimore? If you don’t know already you’ll find out this Sunday.

Ravens 6, Bengals 3

Are the New York Jets possessed by a two-year old demon child who refuses to behave himself when the family dines out at Olive Garden? Do they not know when to exit, stage left? Okay, they play in New York City (technically, New Jersey, but I expect the Garden State to be annexed by Gotham by 2020 at the latest, sooner if they can work out the naming rights) and we are talking about Tim Tebow, the Jennifer Aniston of football. (Tebow was great in college, not so much in the pros; Aniston was great on TV, not so much in the movies.) Why are we still talking about these losers?

Wait! I’m doing it, too!

Bills 48, Jets 17

New England barely escaped Jacksonville. Houston held Adrian Peterson in check but still lost to Minnesota. So, if the Patriots can beat the Dolphins in Foxborough this Sunday and the Texans stumble against the Colts in Indianapolis, the NWE can snag that #2 seed and a first round bye. I know, I know. The Colts have secured their playoff spot and don’t have anything to play for.

Except their cancer survivor head coach!

With Chuck Pagano back on the sidelines this Sunday, the Colts win. It doesn’t hurt that the Texans peaked in Week 7. Seriously, everyone talks about how weak the 13-2-0 Falcons are (and rightly so – that “big win” over the Giants looks smaller now, doesn’t it?) but why don’t we hear the same thing about the 12-3-0 Texans (and yes, I am talking myself into this)? Houston has posted a string of unimpressive wins, including back-to-back OT wins over Jacksonville and Detroit, interspersed with kick in the crotch losses, giving up 42 points to New England and losing at home to Minnesota. If the AFC Championship runs through Houston then get me on that train.

Colts 27, Texans 19

It’s hard to know what to make of the Patriots after their trip to Jacksonville. So, I won’t try. Let us not speak of it again.

Patriots 34, Dolphins 13

Pound for pound, the coolest man on the planet...