Deflategate: The Movie

Count me among those who will be happy to see 2016 go. As Jerry Thornton so eloquently put it (start around the 0:58 mark for full effect), 2016 can eat a dick. That was before 2016 had a fourth quarter for the ages. 2016 can eat a bag of dicks. Any "Best of 2016" list is an oxymoron. Can a year be cursed by gypsies? Did we slip into an alternate, upside down timeline? If so, how do we get back?

Personally, I've been hiding in football since early November (I think you know what I mean) and I have no intention of coming out anytime soon.

What Would Bill Do?

I've wondered in the past why so many NFL franchises struggle. There are only 32 general manager jobs to be had; you'd think in a matter of a few years all of those jobs would be filled with competent employees. Granted, based on performance it appears to be a difficult job but how large is the applicant pool for those 32 jobs? Hundreds? Thousands? I'd say the same about head coaching positions. And yet, that is definitely not a happening thing. How many consistently good NFL franchises are there? I'm going to say six; Patriots, Steelers, Ravens, Broncos, Packers, Seahawks. Maybe you have another franchise or two you'd add to the list. The Chiefs lately? The Giants maybe? The point is that you're not coming anywhere close to naming even half of the league as consistently good.

I've also noted previously that context of relative mediocrity is the key to New England's success on the field. They've won most games - organizationally - before the football leaves the tee.

The Patriots are the blueprint. Eight consecutive divisional crowns, six Super Bowl appearances over fifteen years with four wins. So, why don't other teams just ask, "What would Bill do?"

A Chance To Be Special

Yes, I'm getting ahead of myself. Yes, the Patriots need to win in Miami first. If they do, and it won't be easy, New England will finish 14-2-0 with the #1 seed in the AFC and home field for the playoffs. They will have ended three-game road losing streaks in Denver and Miami and finish the regular season undefeated on the road. They will have accomplished all of this despite having to start the season without Tom Brady and having to finish the season without Rob Gronkowski. This could be one of the best Patriots teams of the Belichick era and that's not a statement that can be made lightly. If Brady throws 3 TD passes without an INT this Sunday, he will own the single season record for TD/INT ratio (he currently holds 3 spots on the Top 10 list). If the defense pitches a shutout, they will become the stingiest Patriots defense of the Belichick era for points allowed.

Still a few questions left to be answered, of course.

Feeling Random

I'm a bit at loose ends today. Random thoughts. Questions without answers. Maybe it's the time of year, as the poet once wrote, or maybe it's the time of man…

Simple Doesn't Mean Easy

It's really simple for the Patriots. Win in Miami and they'll have the #1 seed in the AFC bracket and home field throughout the playoffs.

That doesn't mean it will be easy.

If there's a road venue that rivals Denver for the New England Patriots, it's got to be Miami.

Never Too Early To Get Ahead Of Ourselves

Monday morning and the gridiron cognoscenti are busy talking themselves into their favorite "Has a Chance to Beat the Patriots" team. There's Team KC and Team Steelers. The Raiders minus Derek Carr have been filed in the "What Might Have Been" folder and cross-tabbed with "Wait Till Next Year." Oakland can still secure the #1 seed and still no love for Matt McGloin! (I know what you're thinking; you're thinking Matt McWho?)

Miami and Houston, well, thanks for the regular season narratives. They were fun. Enjoy that first round home game, Texans!

17 Wasn't Enough

It couldn't be a better Christmas. The Patriots demolished the Jets on Christmas Eve, we got out to see "Rogue One" (and we followed that up by watching "Star Wars IV: A New Hope" when we got home) and the kids will be over for Christmas dinner later today. As a young man I never really thought of myself as the paterfamilias but I'm really looking forward to figuring out how to fit all those chairs around the table, not to mention all that food on the table. The turkey's in the oven and I'm working on my fourth mimosa. Good times? Good times.

Who Knows?

When the big story of the week is just how much trade value your backup quarterback has, things are pretty good. When the second biggest story of the week is just how incredibly drunk the wide receiver you picked up on waivers was, that's not so good. Life. It's not just a board game.

Butt-Puckering Time

Most NFL fans find themselves somewhere between anger and acceptance at this point in the season. Denial was left in the rear view a few weeks ago. For others, though, there is still plenty of fear, uncertainty and dread left. Well, except for Cowboys fans, who have nothing better to do till the playoffs start than stuffing Salvation Army buckets with cash. Merry Christmas to (almost) all!

Pigskin Futures

If I may paraphrase Indiana Jones… "The Jets… Why'd it have to be the Jets?"

A Double Standard Means There Is No Standard

I know what you're thinking. Another Patriots fan who just can't let go of Deflategate.

Of course, that's never going to happen. We're never letting go. Then again, we're not the ones picking the scab.

Fuzzy on the Whole Good-Bad Thing

It's crazy. Brady just had his worst game of the year and I actually feel better about New England's Super Bowl hopes.

Old School

I really thought I  preferred the 33-20 wins but winning 16-3 in Denver felt good. So good.

Defense wins championships, right? I think I heard that somewhere once.

DIY Pigskins

Last night, Patriots fans were rooting for the Jets. If the Dolphins had lost, the Patriots would've clinched the AFC East. Today, Dolphins fans will be rooting for the Patriots as a Broncos loss would give them inside position for a Wild Card spot over the reigning Super Bowl champs.

The NFL. It's an emotional roller coaster that ends with most of us throwing up.

Things To Do In Denver When You're Tom

So, the chatter amongst the pigskin chattering class this week has been all about Tom Brady's own personal House of Horrors, a house built from SoCal Kryptonite, Sports Authority Field at Mile High. Rightly so. Minus his 2-7-0 record in Denver, Brady wins 80% of all other games played. So, yeah, that's a thing.

Griff, We Hardly Knew Ye

Like almost any other player cut by other teams, Michael Floyd's release following a DUI arrest started a flurry of hot takes from the local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads on whether the Patriots should sign him up. There was the usual high minded moralizing about the troubled but talented wide receiver, concluding that even though Floyd checked all the boxes for what New England needed at the position - as in, alive and breathing - the Patriots shouldn't add Floyd to their injury depleted wide receiver group. Ride or die with an "everyone thinks there's something wrong with" Julian Edelman, a dinged up Chris Hogan and rookie Malcolm Mitchell and his bionic arm.

Bill Belichick disagreed.

Thanks for everything we never had, Griff Whalen. We'll miss not missing you.

Just a Couple of Thoughts

So, I've been seeing a little bit of Deion Branch in Malcolm Mitchell for a while now and pardon me for spiking the football but…

Nailed it!

Oh So Wrong But It Feels So Right

I was wrong. So wrong.

Idle Thoughts by the Fireplace on a Chilly Sunday in New England

It's a long wait till Monday night…

The New Manchurian Candidate

I wouldn't call the story that Russian interests hacked the US presidential election in an effort to get Donald Trump elected "news" or a "revelation" unless you weren't paying attention. If it was Russia's intent to undermine confidence in the US election then certainly they would've gone after both candidates. They didn't. They attacked Hillary Clinton, not Donald Trump.

For whatever reason, the American people would prefer to believe Hillary Clinton is running a child sex ring out of the basement of a pizzaria than a real estate mogul is entangled with Russian oligarchs despite the lack of evidence in the case of the former and the well reported facts in the case of the latter.

It's hard not to think that we deserve everything we're about to get.

Just Hit AB AB Up on the Destiny Controller

With the Raiders loss to the Chiefs Thursday night, the Patriots now control their playoff destiny.

But didn't they always? Don't we all control our own destiny? I mean, outside of the extinction level event scenarios like the Yellowstone supervolcano blowing the entire state of Wyoming into the atmosphere or an asteroid the size of Texas leaving a Texas-sized hole where Texas used to be.

Otherwise, we're good, am I right?

Coffee and Pgskin Contemplation

Sunday morning. A cup of coffee. Some contemplation.

The Sky Is Falling

We're going to miss him. Let's get that out of the way. Your team doesn't lose one of the 10 best players in the league and not have it hurt. We've all been hearing or reading how Gronk's absence affects Brady's numbers, and by extension, the Patriots offense. The local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads have adopted the role of stern church deacons, necks bulging, warning us of the pigskin Armageddon about to befall the kingdoms to the east of the Connecticut River. The national pigskin pundits and bobbleheads ghoulishly repeat the prognosis on Gronkowski while arguing over whether this makes the Raiders the new favorite to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl.