I Was Told There'd Be No Math

We are like one of those intergalactic cultures that Captain Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise visited, where all knowledge of technology has been lost; the forgotten magic of the ancient ones. The server rooms have become dusty churches where the green-skinned, miniskirt-clad tribal women of today perform the ritual of the reboot without any underlying understanding of what it once meant. Their fear of these remnants of solid state technology and it's strange binary math has cost the lives of many of whatever passes for goats on this distant planet, offered in sacrifice to these machines in the ghost. 

NFL fans are like these sexy alien women in their love of Captain Kirk and their fear of the existential threat of… mathematical elimination.

Making It Up As They Go

There's a dark subtext to seeing the Patriots set the record with their 17th consecutive season winning 10 games (or more, of course). I mean… That can't go on forever. Right? 

It doesn't help that the consensus amongst pigskin pundits and bobbleheads seems to be that this is the worst 10-1-0 team in NFL history. Wounded. Living off their rep and a soft schedule. No longer Super Bowl contenders. (Can you say a more hurtful thing about the Patriots?) Is that The Cliff photobombing Tom Brady's Instagram posts? 

If there's an upside, it's that Bill Belichick is some kind of pigskin alchemist who can transform doubt into blocked punts. 

Winning Football

The first thing I read the morning after the Patriots storm-addled 13-9 win over the Cowboys in Foxborough was pretty much what I expected. Patriots Finally Have Reason to Be Concerned About Tom Brady and the Offense, according to Brad Gagnon on Bleacher Report.

To which I say...

Finally?

The Repeatable Experience

We've seen this movie before, haven't we? Underperforming in the regular season, featuring a blowout loss that has pigskin pundits questioning Tom Brady and the Patriots' Super Bowl bona fides? Check. Controversy? I'd say the endless Antonio Brown saga qualifies. A rash of injuries that seems to target a single position group? Well, we haven't gotten to the point where wide receivers are playing defensive back but I might be close to asking if any of the defensive backs played wide receiver in college… or high school… or pee wee football. 

Yeah. We've seen this movie before and we know how it ends. 

The Sky Is The Ceiling

It's been observed - often by the local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads guilty of the same sentiments - that only Patriots fans could find misery in an 8-0-0 record. Waiting for the Sunday night game and almost certain defeat at the hands of the Baltimore Ravens and their unicorn QB, Lamar Jackson, it just feels like a good time to try to cheer myself up.

Darth Hoodie Finds Your Lack of Faith Disturbing

I was thinking… Should I be upset that so many pigskin pundits and bobbleheads are playing the passive-aggressive disrespect card by finishing any discourse on the Patriots' dominance on defense with "but they haven't really played anyone yet" followed by the list of less than replacement level quarterbacks they've faced in posting an 8-0-0 record?

And I realized… No. 

Is here another team that responds to the slightest of slights like the New England Patriots?