Anhedonia

Apparently, there are worse things than losing. Winning so badly that Jim Nantz thinks you lost for one. Also, not being able to update your status on Foursquare because whatever, you know, what’s up with Foursquare, man?

  

Based on the reactions of the local pigskintelligentsia Monday morning, I thought for a moment Tom Brady might’ve killed a puppy with his bare hands Sunday night after the game. Then I realized they were angry that puppy’s name wasn’t Brandon Lloyd.

The Patriots did win that game, didn’t they?

Against their bitter divisional rivals, the Jets, wasn’t it?

That happened, yes?

They’re now in first place in the AFC East, am I right?

I think I get it. I mean, I go into every game hoping the Patriots will win 52-0. It makes the 4^th Quarter so much more enjoyable.

So, rereading that last line, thinking it was weak and lazy, I began thinking about that 52-0 marker I'd laid down and I wondered how low a score would still make the 4^th Quarter enjoyable. 45-0? Yeah, I think so. 38-0?

(Deep breath, hold and exhale.)

Okay. The lowest score I would need to have at the end of the 3^rd Quarter would be 31-0 for the entire 4^th Quarter to qualify as enjoyable.

I'm rethinking that already. 38-0 for sure.

But that doesn’t make an OT win that ends on a strip sack and fumble recovery by Rob Ninkovich, who cleaned up on an inside rush by Jermaine Cunningham, a disappointment. It was an epic game. That was an incredible play that ended the game. As was Rob Gronkowski’s first TD catch. Devin McCourty’s kickoff return for a score. There were some sweet moments. And some bitter. It was a tough game. The Jets have a good defense even without Revis. You know their special teams cheat even more unabashedly than the Patriots. You know Ryan wants to beat Belichick. You know these teams seriously do not like each other. You know all these things.

Winning a game like that, no matter how, no matter what the final score, that’s a good win.

The Patriots defense has now forced 13 fumbles and recovered 11. Both numbers lead the NFL. It's arithmetic!

I’m just saying.

So, who feels worse than us?

The Ravens got schooled by the Texans. That was a measuring stick game. 5-1-0 against 5-1-0. 5-2-0 never felt worse! The Texans rolled the Ravens. Dismissed them. Had a nearly 2:1 advantage in time of possession. Stole their lunch money.

Oof. Ravens' fans have got to feel bad. Maybe Joe Flacco isn't elite after all?

Who else?

It goes without saying Browns’ fans feel worse than us. They feel worse than everyone.

Hey!

Jets fans have got to feel worse, am I right? Can the Jets afford to lose games when Mark Sanchez throws for 328 yards? I mean, they came all the way back and were leading by 3 points. They held the vaunted Patriots offense to 20 points. If you heard Sanchez was going for 300+ and the NYJ D would hold the Brady Bunch under 21 points you would have to guess the Jets would win handily, wouldn’t you?

How did they lose that game?

Come on, my fellow Patriots’ fans! Isn’t it enough that Jets’ fans feel worse than we do today?

Feel it.