Jay Cutler soils himself on national television. Surprised? Bemused? Disappointed? Whatever. All wins count the same. All losses, too. 1-1-0. Same record as the Packers. So shake it off, Jay Cutler. Rub some dirt on it. Kill a hobo. Whatever you gotta do. Time to move on.
Yeah, it’s already must win territory for some teams. Okay, not really. There's still hope, even if you're 0-2-0 after this weekend's action. You know the old joke. The girl tells the boy she wouldn't date him unless he was the last man on earth and the boy says, “So, you’re telling me there’s a chance.” There’s a chance. Yeah. Sure, roll with that Cleveland fans…
In case of a prize, duplicate ties will be awarded…
It’s a classic AFL match up. Chiefs vs. Bills. They should both wear throwbacks. Helmets with those nickel buffalos and large white arrowheads with the linked KC embossed on them. (Wait - do they wear those today?) Let’s hope it is AFL Classic; something in the 35-32 neighborhood. This just seems like the kind of game where Ryan Fitzpatrick makes everyone think, “Hey, why doesn’t he play like this all the time?” Kansas City’s Week 1 performance, coupled with Peyton Manning’s apparent bid for Comeback Player of the Year, is making my pick of the Chiefs to win the AFC West look like a bad call, Ripley. It was a bad call. Bills 38, Chiefs 34.
In the club…
Does Andrew Luck get his first win as a pro this weekend? The Colts are home and it is the Vikings, who needed overtime to dispatch the Jaguars while playing at home in the Land of a Thousand Lakes. Is Adrian Peterson alone enough? Probably not. It is a passing league, after all. Peyton 2.0 tosses 3 TD passes and the Colts win, 24-23.
You’ll remember this when we don’t meet in the Super Bowl…
Michael Vick threw four the wrong way against a little noticed Cleveland defense. It doesn’t bode well for Vick that the Ravens’ venerable defense will be visiting this week. Ed Reed may intercept four passes all on his own. On the other side, can the Eagles’ defense shut down the suddenly elite Joe Flacco? I say no. [Starts Joe-Flac-co chant: Joe-Flac-co! Joe-Flac-co! Joe-Flac-co!] Ravens 38-17.
This will end badly…
These are the games (you know, the games they should win) that America’s Crazy Ex-Girlfriend loses. Romo should put up big numbers, the Cowboys defense should smother the Seahawks offense and people should be breaking their ankles jumping off the Russell Wilson bandwagon by the end of this one. Instead, Wilson will have his breakout game and Romo will somehow be involved in a play that defines the Cowboys’ defeat. A fumbled handoff, a pass that bounces right off Dez Bryant’s hands is intercepted and run back for a touchdown, a shotgun snap that sails over his head, something. You were nodding in agreement as you read that last sentence, weren’t you? Seahawks 35-17.
If the Super Bowl was played today…
Peyton Manning takes his revival tour and traveling blues review to the ATL on Monday night. The Falcons roughed up the Chiefs in KC last week with their new and improved Atlanta offense as Matt Ryan connected twice with Julio Jones on his way to three TD passes. Manning was money in the Broncos convincing win at home against the Steelers. Is it hyperbole to call this a possible Super Bowl preview? Yeah, probably. Especially since one of these teams will be 1-1-0 come Tuesday morning. Falcons 31, Broncos 20.
Now it’s a party…
Are you ready for some parking lot violence? Much has been made of the infamous post-game modern lyrical dance done by Lions’ head coach Jim Schwartz and 49ers’ head coach Jim Harbaugh following the 2011 match up. And while it’s clear that rehashing the “Handshake Game” is is only a marketing ploy on the part of NBC to boost ratings for the Sunday night rematch in San Francisco, I get the feeling these two teams don’t like each other. I’m expecting a fight to break out on the field, in the stands and out in the parking lot.
I don’t know why I should root for Randy Moss but I can’t help wanting to see Moss match Megatron catch for catch and yard for yard. I don’t think that will happen but the Niners should win anyway, 24-10 in a game where multiple players get helped off the field. After the final gun, Jim Harbaugh gets Jim Schwartz on the ground and punches him repeatedly in the face until the ref jumps in and stops the fight. I hope we all learned a lesson here. Don’t cross crazy. Crazy will punch you repeatedly in the face.
Reality Check…
Are the Steelers old? Is Ben Roethlisberger’s rotator cuff in tatters? Is the defense that was beaten by Necky McManning ready for the suddenly franchisey Mark Sanchez?
What?
Revis is out?
Oh.
Steelers 27, Jets 19.
Home Cooking…
Every team in the NFL is tough, has talented athletes, presents different match up challenges and deserves respect as professionals. Perhaps more importantly, these are your brothers. Give it up.
It’s the Patriots’ Way. I knew Larry Fitzgerald was great but now I know, thanks to Bill Belichick – who should know –that he may be the greatest of all time. Darnell Dockett and Calais Campbell are defensive stalwarts I now wish were on the Patriots’ roster. I also learned this week that Patrick Peterson can be mentioned in the same breath with Devin Hester. Okay. Like I said, it’s the Patriots Way to honor their opponents in the week leading up to the game. Still, I was stunned when I read Devin McCourty’s comments on Cardinals QB Steve Young. I mean, Cardinals QB Kevin Kolb. But McCourty made it sound like we were playing against Young this weekend. Really? Kevin Kolb? Kevin Kolb makes Tony Romo look like he’s got a horseshoe up his ass. I suppose saying something like that would not be considered respectful, would it? Moving on…
The Magic 8-Ball in my brain says Gronk will spike, Wes will break Troy Brown’s record for receptions, Aaron “Elvis” Hernandez will shake, rattle and roll, Brandon Lloyd will go for 50+ on a skinny post off play action and the defense will make Kevin Kolb look like Kevin Kolb. Patriots 41-10.
Neal Schon, baby…
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