Adversity Isn't Just a River in Egypt

Work, drink, write. Work, drink. Work, drink. Work, drink. Work, drink. Work, drink, write. Hmm. My work, drink, write balance is seemingly out of balance. I know why I work (money) but I don’t know if I know why I drink (thirsty?) or write (yeah, I got nothing). Perhaps I drink and I write for the same deep dark secret reason. Something that happened in my childhood, something repressed for good reason. Okay, I may be overdramatizing. After all, my idea of adversity is running out of space on my DVR.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. The Patriots were supposed to travel to Baltimore with a 2-0-0 record to face the undefeated Ravens for a showdown of favorites for the AFC bracket in Super Bowl XLVII. Instead, they meet with identical 1-1-0 records. One of these teams will be 1-2-0 late Sunday night. Fans of the Patriots --  and fans of the Ravens -- may have thought they were facing adversity when their heroes fell to 1-1-0 last week. It’s getting worse for somebody Sunday night. The Patriots could be looking up at both the Bills and the Jets Monday morning with every Pigskin Pundit and Bobblehead in New England chewing the ankles of Josh McDaniels over his underuse of Wes Welker, wondering aloud if Tom Brady is tipping his pitches, reminding everyone of the terrible drafts Bill Belichick had ’06 through ’08 – like Colonel Kurtz his methods have become... insane!

I’ll never bet against my homeys and I’ve seen Belichick and Brady win this kind of game before. It’s going to be a junk-punch kind of game so cover up at all times. I’ll go 38-20 Patriots. I know, I know. I was nearly as optimistic last week.

We agreed never to speak of that again, didn’t we?

Meanwhile, Arizona could make me feel a whole lot better by holding serve against Philadelphia. I’d feel even better about the Patriots’ defense if Larry Fitzgerald goes for 100 and a score against the Eagles. And I’ll feel positively giddy if the Cardinals’ defense shuts out Michael Vick and Company. So, I’m saying Arizona 27, Philadelphia 0. Just writing that made me feel better.

Redemption Songs

America’s Crazy Ex-Girlfriend can get back on track against the Buccaneers with a win in the House that Jerry Built. It will be very, very bad if they don’t. Why do I hope that happens? Following Tampa Bay’s loss to the Giants last week there was a lot of chatter about Greg Schiano asking his players to continue playing until the game was actually over. Schiano may have put Tom Coughlin’s panties in a twist but I have a feeling that call produced the desired effect in the Bucs locker room. Tampa Bay 17, Dallas 13.

Either the Chiefs or the Saints are walking off the field with their first W Sunday. It will be interesting to see if my Pigskin Gods Hate the Saints (maybe because of Bountygate unless it’s just a small data sample) Theory withstands laboratory tests this Sunday. I really thought Kansas City would be better than what they’ve shown so far and maybe eventually they will but if you were guessing which one of these teams would start their season 0-3-0 you’re not guessing the Saints, are you? I have to think Drew Brees will not be denied; 425 yards, 4 TD and a 41-31 win.

Necky McManning will be looking to bounce back from the worst quarter of his career against the Texans, who have one of the best defenses in the NFL. This does not strike me as a best case scenario. The good news? Houston likes to run the ball so Manning shouldn’t be on the field long enough to take an “avert your eyes” level beating. My advice to Necky? Do not throw deep down the right seam. Houston 27, Denver 19.

I’m like so over Jay Cutler. So what if he can keep his composure when he’s winning! Anyone can do that. Bears 30, Rams 10.

Should the Jets travel to Miami and lose to the Dolphins it will make me very, very happy. Thankfully, there are other things in this life that will make me happy because I am not counting on Mark Sanchez sucking hard enough for the NYJ to lose to the MIA this Sunday. I don’t know if it’s physically possible for Sanchez to suck that hard. Wait… I’m being told now it is possible for Mark Sanchez to suck that hard. Still, Jets 17, Dolphins 9.

Muse, why can’t I quit you?