Putting Me Out Of My Pigskin Misery

Look. Just beat the Jets.

Don't take that away from me, too.

The Real Football Coaches of Foxborough

People being people.

Sometimes it's tragic. And when it isn't tragic it's almost always hilarious. 

Pigskin Perhaps and Mayhaps

Somehow, last place feels different today than it did last week.

Pigskin Candy and Nuts

Ifs and Buts. Seems like there are plenty of those for the 2022 New England Patriots.

And everybody else here on planet Earth.

Draft Denouement

 Bill Belichick is the DGAF GM. 

It says so on his business card.

Feeling The Draft

I spent an indefensible amount of time today using the PFF Mock Draft 2022 Simulator. Then again, what wannabe NFL GM hasn't?

Doomscrolling the Patriots' Off Season

Can the NFL get any stranger? 

The Pigskin Heimlich

I like to think of myself as a man of science and reason. I subscribe to the notion that momentum is a phenomena limited to physics; that "clutch" is nothing more than the typical variations in small data samples, and "choking" applies only to scenarios in which an unfortunate diner has failed to sufficiently chew that overly optimistic piece of meatloaf before attempting to swallow it. 

And yet, there are games I watch where I just know one team is going to make a play when it matters most and the other team will need the pigskin Heimlich.

Welcome to Your Pigskin Nightmare

I spent my Tuesday basking in the heat and occasional light of hot takes following New England's MNF win in Buffalo, as pigskin pundits and bobbleheads tried to come to grips with what had happened Monday night in Buffalo. The Patriots had run the ball, run the ball, and then run the ball some more, ultimately winning a football game played in a wind tunnel called Highmark Stadium by the score of 14-10. They threw the football exactly 3 times.

I Come Here Not To Praise Bill Belichick

The New England Patriots went to Buffalo to chew bubblegum and kick ass. 

But they forgot the bubblegum.

And the forward pass.

Just Lucky, I Guess

Is there a consensus amongst pigskin pundits and bobbleheads when it comes to this team? 

Same As It Ever Was

I've been as guilty as the next blogger for pushing the 2001 narrative as the context and framework for these 2021 Patriots but really; isn't this just the way the HC of the NEP has been rolling for the last forty years?

Unanswered Points

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

No, these aren't your older brother's Patriots. But they might just be your Dad's Patriots.

Identity Football

I don't know why I should care, but when pigskin pundits and bobbleheads talk smack about my pigskin heroes, it makes me so mad. I mean, maybe my baby is ugly, but, get my baby's name out of your mouth!

Pigskin Spinning

Every so often, I forget that I don't know as much about football as Bill Belichick does.

I'm not the only one.

Jedi Football

Does Darth Hoodie have one more Jedi mind trick left to play?

The Return of the Not So Prodigal Son

Like most things in life, it doesn't really help that we all saw this coming, does it?

Burn the Ships

Bill Belichick pulled a Cortez on roster cutdown day. 

Hero or Villain

At this point, the biopic of Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, Jr. would have to be a trilogy, wouldn't it? Or maybe a long-form, 12-part series on HBO Max.

How many Brady's are we going to need? Childhood Brady, Michigan Brady, First 3 Super Bowls Brady, Wandering the Wilderness (the two losses to the Giants) Brady, the Paterfamilias (and 4 more Super Bowl wins) Brady.

Luckily, Hollywood is full of handsome men of all ages. 

Confused By Love

t's been a bit unnerving.

Discombobulating?

Disconcerting, certainly.