Pigskin Uncertainty

 Maybe Heisenberg is right. 

I should not be observing the preseason.

It really isn't good for either involved party.

Meaningless Pigskin Observations

It's a good thing this one didn't count.

Pigskin Phantasm

 It's dream time in the NFL.

Yeah. And this is your wake up call.

The Roller Coaster Ride Called August

Whenever some waggish pigskin pundit or bobblehead wants to make a point about the preseason, they'll remind you the Detroit Lions went 4-0-0 in the preseason of the year they went 0-16-0 when the games actually counted. While this anecdotal evidence is historically accurate, it is clearly just that - anecdotal. And really, pigskin pundits and bobbleheads, you're just saying that to make fun of the Detroit Lions again, aren't you?

Philly Cheese

I get it, Eagles fans. The last time your team won the NFL championship was… 1960?

Wow. That's a long time ago. So. Lots of pent up "thank God without seeing the Eagles win a championship!" kind of energy. I understand. You've got to let that wild piglet chi out and let it run shirtless through the arc lit night of your deep subconscious.

I think I remember how you feel…

Way Too Early To Tell Anything

Sometimes we glimpse the future. Sometimes all we see is a moment about to become history. Maybe it's one and the same. Could Ralph Webb be Dion Lewis 2.0? Only in the sense that he might get claimed off waivers by the Cleveland Browns when the Patriots try to slip Webb through to the practice squad.

I do think Kyle Van Noy was right when he said the Patriots defense would surprise people. I know I was surprised. We all thought they were going to be better than that, didn't we?

Maybe there's nothing to be learned from the preseason other than who your swing tackle is going to be.

I sure hope so.

Summer Camping

Breaking news from Patriots training camp: Tom Brady still not old.

Making Way Too Much Out Of Nothing At All

Preseason, even the infamous “dress rehearsal” 3rd preseason game, is fraught with equal parts unreasoning elation and unfounded doom. We can make way too much of a single series, even a single play and yet, the siren call of the hot take is simply impossible to resist.

So, I’m just going to roll with it…

Tom's Thumb Blues

It’s hardly a surprise that we know so little about Tom Brady’s “mishap.” I think we’re all generally aware of scissors but what do we really know about what happened before Thursday night’s preseason game? When I hear that he “sliced” his right thumb I want to know if the cut needed stitches. Was this dealt with using a standard sized band-aid? Players use scissors to pry jammed up turf from their cleats? Scissors? Tom Brady doesn’t have a body man to handle these plebian tasks? Where was rookie QB Jacoby Brissett? Shouldn’t he be cleaning Brady’s cleats?

I get the Patriots not saying anything. They never say anything. They didn’t say anything about Gronk, Jabaal Sheard or Shea McClellin’s recent absences. We didn’t know Shaq Mason had a broken hand until today and he’s been a no-show for a week. Okay. Nothing to see here. But this is Tom Edward Patrick Brady, Jr.! Where is the incredulous speculation and conspiracy theorizing from the local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads? Where is the keening and wailing of the good citizens of Patriots Nation?

I guess we’re all too busy reliving that 2-minute drill by Jimmy Garoppolo.

The Jimmy G Show

So…

Football!

Signs and Misdemeanors

Meaningless game? Check. No season-ending injuries? Check. Losing 40-3 and not caring? Check.

Rush to Judgment

It was just a preseason game which equals meaningless. Or does it?

Sui Generis X 2

They are utterly different and utterly unique. Okay, that’s redundant. But poetical. Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez are gonna love us long time. In a pigskin way. What were you thinking?

75

I guess whoever said this team wasn’t the 2007 Patriots was right. Adios, Jabar. Arrivederci, Donte. Goodbye, goodbye to Rome…

Evaluations and Expectations

I know you’ve heard it before. I’ve said it myself. It’s just the preseason. They aren’t game-planning. It’s about building the roster, not winning the games. Somehow it’s just not as reassuring after the third preseason game as it was after the first.

Dreaming of September

The good news has piled up over the last few days. First, Logan Mankins put on pads and got to work. Then the Patriots signed world class sprinter Jeff Demps (despite the oblations of the Jets and former Florida teammate Tim Tebow). Now we’re hearing that OT Sebastian Vollmer and TE Daniel Fells will be activated and begin practicing next week. How psyched am I? I’m actually counting the hours to kick-off Monday night, knowing full well I won’t see anything of Demps other than college and Olympics clips and with the near certain expectation of Brian Hoyer starting at QB.

Still Waiting

How do we know its preseason? The Cleveland Browns beat the Green Bay Packers 35-10.

A Sip of Kool-Aid

Time for a tall, icy cold glass of Belichick Kool-Aid.

Already Gone

Wins aren’t nearly as important in the preseason as hope. The Raiders lost to the Cowboys 3-0 but with Darren McFadden looking like he’s fully recovered from the injuries that ended his 2011 season, Oakland fans have got to feel a lot better about their team’s chances than the good citizens of Dallas do today. Tony Romo looked like whatever the opposite of elite is. The good news for fans of America’s Ex-Girlfriend? According to Romo, they tried hard. Wait a minute. That’s not good news. If you’re trying hard and you look that bad it is definitely not good news.

One Thing

To Plax or not to Plax? That is the question. For Monday, anyway. Plaxico Burress coming in for a workout and Chad Johnson on the market bail has Patriots Nation thinking. Granted, it has most of us thinking we’d rather hear about a solid veteran offensive lineman coming in for a workout than a 35-year old ex-con wide receiver but solid veteran offensive lineman are apparently a lot harder to come by than 35-year old ex-con wide receivers.