Jealousy

I know I said I wouldn't do this; wouldn't waste my time arguing with haters, defending the Patriots, Bill Belichick or Tom Brady from the jealous and the dumb.

This was just too perfect though. It literally has everything.

Take a look...

Untrue To Form

Jets games never seem to go true to form. Let's just say that while I would never wish injury on anyone, I'm glad Josh McCown won't be playing this Sunday. I know. Josh McCown? Trust me on this one. With the man who literally defines the term "journeyman" under center, an ugly, grind it out, weather definitely a factor 20-17 Patriots' loss at home to the Jets would be a very real possibility.

Which begs the question: How did Don Belichick arrange to have McCown's hand broken in a game where the Patriots weren't even playing?

Small Changes

There aren't many teams in the NFL with a 12-3-0 record and a chance to lock up home field throughout the playoffs that would see themselves as underperforming or average or even disappointing.

Welcome to New England.

Who Can Beat The Patriots?

Pigskin pundits and bobbleheads have Patriots Fatigue. They are desperate seeking a team that can take down the Patriots before they win yet another Lombardi Trophy. It reminds me of that line from "Thunder Road."

...praying in vain for a savior to rise from these streets...

Well?

The Year That Almost Was

It's been a crazy ride and it isn't even close to being over but a few thoughts on 2017 in the NFL…

Destiny Isn't Just The Name of a Stripper

I'm inclined to believe that luck - good or bad - is nothing more than a small data sample.

After these last two games, though, I'm inclined to wonder: Does Fate regress to the mean?

Embracing the Hate

Top 10 Reasons to Hate the Patriots (2017 Edition)

They're All Big Games

Can you believe Steelers' players are still talking about last week's game against the Patriots?

Can you imagine any Patriots' player talking about anything but the game with the Bills this week?

That Patriots Problem Thing

You know about the so-called "Patriots Problem" don't you? That problem the Other 31 teams have beating the Patriots? Or maybe I should say, believing they can beat the Patriots.

Entitled

Me? A Patriots fan? Entitled?

Really?

The Inflection Point

The rules of the game, applied to the letter of the law, have once again allowed the Patriots to cheat their way to victory.

Excuse me on this fine winter morning as I make a hot cup of tea from the tears of my enemies.

I'll Take It

Short week. Road game. No Gronk.

If you'd told me before the game the Patriots would turn the ball over twice and score just 19 points I would've thought…

2-3-0. Two-game losing streak for the first time in forever. Looking up at the New York Jets in the AFC East standings. It's over. The season is over. Even worse, I've apparently been sucked through a wormhole into a parallel but evil universe...

Was it perfect? No, but I'll take the W.

Day to Day

Dont'a Hightower may be back as early as this coming Sunday. Phillip Dorsett's knee is sore; he's hurt, not injured. And Gronk, like all of us, is day to day. The back is fine. Feeling good.

Oh, and Tom Brady is still Tom Brady.

What Happens Next

The Bill Belichick era  New England Patriots have been a team that eats adversity for breakfast, lunch, dinner.

Guess what's on the menu?

Picking Up The Pieces

Strange.

Was I the victim of an alien abduction? I don't remember anything between when I left work last Thursday and now - what my wife tells me is Saturday morning…

Still Chasing It

Was I the last citizen of Patriots Nation to See "Do Your Job II?" It seemed like all the local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads all got invited to the sneak preview. My invitation must've gotten lost in the mail. Did it live up to the hype?

Well, here's my one-word review for fellow Pats Fans: Chills.

37 Pairs of Shoes Drop

More to come?

More to come.

A Day to Dream

Bon chance, Jonathan Freeny.

The Calm Before the Final Cuts Frenzy

NFL teams have until 4:00 pm ET on Saturday to cut their rosters from 90 to 53. That will mean the hopes and dreams of 1,184 young men will get a kick to the man region. And while that hurts, it doesn't necessarily mean their journey is over. I mean, there's always the Jets.

Am I right, Devin Lucien, Austin Carr, D.J. Foster?

Hopes and Dreams

Tonight the Patriots will play their 4th and last preseason game of 2017 as the Giants come to Foxborough. According to local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads, Tom Brady and the starters will not be playing tonight.

Tonight will be all about the kids who are trying to write the first chapter of their NFL story and veterans hoping their story isn't over.

Waiting and Worrying

The wait for the start of the regular season can now be measured in days. So can eternity; there's just more of them.

Pigskin Prognostications

It's that time of the year when local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads make their best guess as to who will make the Final 53 for the Patriots. I'm sensing some patterns…

Next Man Up

Nobody moves on like Bill Belichick.

The Kony Ealy Experiment is Over and the Patient is Dead

One thing I've learned from moments like this. Bill Belichick has a plan. Bill Belichick always has a plan. Sometimes the plan doesn't work out. When that happens you recognize it. Recognize it as early as possible. Then you make a new plan.

I Love Football

I hate football.

I guess all that depth at wide receiver will come in handy now, won't it?

Brady Being Brady

I've already had three cups of coffee and I still can't figure out how buying a mass produced automobile can make me a special, unique, boss, leader, pro, father of the year who brings the sexy back with my young exotic girlfriend. Maybe I shouldn't try to understand it. I have been thinking about trading in my current car. Perhaps this is a sign.

The wife is going to hate that young exotic girlfriend, though…

Summer Camping

Breaking news from Patriots training camp: Tom Brady still not old.

Coming Soon to a Football Field Near You

Being a football fan is a curious thing. Unlike most people, we can hardly wait for summer to be over. We look forward to the dog days of August. We long for a crisp, cool autumn day. As offseasons go, this one hasn't been too bad. I've spent a lot of my spring and early summer indulging in Patriots porn. I've re-watched SB51 in some form - full game with half-time I recorded on my DVR, 3 Games to Glory V, one-hour synopsis versions on NFL network, various videos of Brady's 466 yards passing, 4th quarter and OT highlights - maybe a dozen times, not to mention a variety of Tom Brady-themed videos on YouTube.

But Patriots porn, like actual pornography, just isn't the same as the real thing.

I mean, that's what I heard...

The New American President

Hearing the news that the President's legal team is exploring the unprecedented possibility of a President pardoning himself, combined with a claim by Trump attorney John Dowd that the President can't be prosecuted because whatever allegedly happened has passed it's best if prosecuted by date begs the question…

What crimes has the President committed?

We The People

As we celebrate the birthday of the United States of America, I can't help but think of the gulf that seems to grow wider and deeper every day between the country I learned about in middle school and the nation we have become.

Where to begin? Anywhere, I guess...

Positivity

Things have been going so well for Patriots fans it's hard not to wonder if we're being set up. By fate or karma or whatever you call it. Maybe that's just me. As I grow older I feel increasingly uncomfortable speaking for anyone but myself. So, let me stick to me and my feelings.

I feel like the rest of the pigskin world has been working a super massive reverse jinx on the New England Patriots.

Rooting for Frankenstein's Monster

I remember Steve Grogan and the lovable losers I rooted for back in the day. I remember the plucky underdogs that had no right being in the Super Bowl, let alone taking down the Greatest Show on Turf. Today, I feel more like Gene Wilder in "Young Frankenstein" insisting this is a good boy while the mob gathers at the front gate, pitchforks sharpened, torches ablaze shouting "Kill the monster! Kill the monster!"

It is what it is.

How Things Work

Every player taken in the NFL is a projection, even #1 pick Myles Garrett. Perhaps he'll be great, perhaps he'll be a transcendent, generational talent who draws comparisons to the Hall of Famers he will one day join in Canton. Or maybe he'll fail to live up to his draft status; maybe he'll be an outright bust. Unlikely? Sure, but not unprecedented.

This was an unusual draft for the New England Patriots and it's hard to take a single data point and discern a pattern but Bill Belichick provided an interesting business case for managing draft picks as assets. He's always moved around the board. He's always like to convert 5th round picks into blue collar veterans as depth pieces. He's always called the draft just one part of the overall team-building process. But I can't remember a draft where so many picks were converted from risky, unproven assets into known commodities.

It's not like anything Bill Belichick did with New England's 2017 draft picks is against the rules; once again, he's just reading between the lines.

The Triumph of Hope Over Draft Profile

Loved it when Bill Belichick reminded the pigskin pundits and bobbleheads in his post-Day 2 stand up the Patriots had already banked WR Brandin Cooks (and his 5th year option), DE Kony Ealy, TE Dwayne Allen and RB Mike Gillislee before Day 1 of the draft.

He didn't mention keeping QB Jimmy Garoppolo or CB Malcolm Butler; I know they were on the roster all along but somehow it seems like the Patriots acquired them from Cleveland and New Orleans, respectively, doesn't it?

Also loving the reaction to the Patriots 3rd round picks but I have to admit I'm caught off guard by a New England draft that doesn't get a C+ "Failed to work up to expectations" kind of grade.

Perhaps an even bigger surprise? Belichick didn't take a safety nobody ever heard of in the 3rd round this year.

Last Minute Pre-Draft Doodles

The NFL Draft is almost, mercifully, finally upon us. The fates of Jimmy Garoppolo, Malcolm Butler and hundreds of young men with the hopes and dreams of pigskin fame hangs in the balance. It isn't exactly western civilization we're considering here but for whatever reason, I'm far more interested in football. I mean, western civilization is so 20th century, am I right?

Dead Is Dead

Am I missing something?

RIP Phil Simms

First, let me say that as a New England Patriots fan, I hate all of the network broadcast teams. They fall into two categories for me; the New York Guys and the Beat Guys. The Beat Guys are second- or third-teamers for their network who have gotten used to calling games for the Bills or 49ers. They might as well be beat reporters for the other team. Ian Eagle and Dan Fouts are the perfect Beat Guys. They've called a lot of Dolphins games and almost can't help themselves when they spend the whole game speaking in glowing terms about the players on a team getting beaten by double digits by the Patriots. The New York guys live in or around NYC and in some cases, like Phil Simms, played for one of the New York franchises. Simms and Jim Nantz are the quintessential New York Guys. They can't help but enjoy themselves when the Patriots are losing and get obviously peeved when New England is winning.

So, yeah, I hated - and mocked - Phil Simms. 

He's a New York Guy.

Confirmation Bias

It seems the longer we don't know something, the more confident we are that we do.

When the Big Dog Barks...

...it would be wise to listen.

Patriots owner Robert Kraft had a lot to say out at the owner's meetings today.

Let's break it down…

You Had Seven Years

Much is being said and written about the failure to launch the Republican's health care plan and yet I just don't think it's been given the truly epic credit it deserves.

Would You Rather?

Just wondering…

Lucky Shirt

You've got a lucky shirt, don't you?

The Waiting Game

I've said this before so forgive me repeating… Bill Belichick is like Chuck Norris. He does not sleep; he waits.

It's Quiet

Too quiet…

One Shoe Drops

I guess the pigskin gridiron cognoscenti were right about Dont'a Hightower re-signing with the Patriots.

Thank the Pigskin Jesus. I don't know how much longer I could've held my breath.

Intrigue

Dont'a Hightower has visited the Jets and Steelers. The Jets, apparently oblivious to the irony, fed Hightower cupcakes while the Steelers had Beach Boys music playing in their heads as Dont'a left the building. Malcolm Butler is heading to the Big Easy to get a sense of his true market value while the Texans would like his agent to know Butler could find a nice new home at Patriots South.

How intense have the Hightower/Butler narratives been?

Nobody's mentioned Jimmy Garoppolo for almost 24 hours.

Oops!

Reset the Garoppolo Clock to zero!

Belichick Does Belichick

On the third day, Bill Belichick rested.

Sort of.

No News/Good News

Dont'a Hightower still hasn't signed with another team?

Yes?

Okay then.

How You Like Me Now

If you thought it was going to be tough to top the Stephon Gilmore signing, Bill Belichick just said, "Hold my beer."

A Day of Team Building

So much for the Patriots sitting out the first day feeding frenzy of free agency…

Prop Bets on the Future

Life itself is a prop bet, isn't it? As Aristotle once said, we're all day to day.

I'm pretty sure that was Aristotle.

Solving for Garoppolo

First Adam Schefter was sure he'd be traded for a 1st round pick. Now he's sure he'll stay a Patriot for 2017.

So, nothing's really changed, has it?

Future Tense

Who knows where the road will lead us? Only a fool would say…

Fool? I guess that's where I come in!

Getting Better All The Time

As much as everyone west of the Connecticut River doesn't want to hear it, the New England Patriots, the team that just won the Super Bowl, could be even better next year.

Here are just a few reasons why…

Second Year Leapers

The "Second Year Leap" is a thing. The step up in competition from college to the NFL will cause many to stumble. There are some rookies who contribute immediately but most take a year to adjust to the size of their opponents, the speed of the game and the demands of their new profession. Even for seasoned pros, joining a new team can be a challenge. New terminology, new concepts, new teammates to adjust to. In their second year, the game "slows down."

Looking over the Patriots roster and considering the second year leap (and a few other considerations), the team that just won the Super Bowl might be even better in 2017...

The Argument Is Over

I'd thought I'd reached some zenned out bliss when it came to the trolls and the haters. I could follow Tom Brady's lead and just be a positive guy when they called my boys cheaters, when they dug Spygate out from under the rock where they keep it, or mentioned the Helmet Catch, when the flat-earthers insisted footballs can't naturally deflate in cold weather.

Like Brady, I'd be a positive guy. I'd just smile. And wave. Or flash the peace sign.

Just one problem.

That's not me.

I Can't Quit You, Football!

First there was the afterglow. If I smoked I'm sure I would've lit one up. Eventually, though, you come down from that high. Post-Super Bowl depression? I'm not sure depression is the right word. Okay, yes, it's the right word. No more football till when? Wait! Don't tell me!

GOAT

For everyone other than Joe Montana, the question as to who is the greatest quarterback of all time was answered on February 5, 2017.

But is he the greatest football player of all time?

Hurt My Feelings

So Roger Goodell is butt-hurt over the Patriots enjoying their post-Deflategate Super Bowl win just a little too much at his expense. First, Robert Kraft relished the moment a little too much, calling everyone's attention to what's "transpired in the last two years" after receiving the Lombardi Trophy. Sweet. And savory. Then defensive coordinator Matt Patricia was photographed wearing the Barstool Sports t-shirt, literally clowning Goodell.

Let me just start with…

Well, he started it!

The Best Patriots Super Bowl (So Far)

One of the Patriots was asked in the post-Super Bowl confetti cloud if they thought this might be Brady's favorite Super Bowl win (subtext: Deflategate). I wish I could remember who said it because it was a great line. Paraphrasing: "I think Brady thinks of his Super Bowls like his children. He loves them all."

That hasn't stopped the pigskin pundits and bobbleheads from ranking the five Super Bowl wins for the B&B Patriots. So, yeah, I guess I'm going to go there, too.

Taking It From The Top

Haters still hating. Brady. Belichick. The Patriots. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. They even hate me and the other good citizens of Patriots Nation. Apparently, we're just not humble enough. Or something.

I'm guessing it's the the seven Super Bowls. The five wins. The quarterback and coach who are the greatest of all time. The greatest NFL dynasty of all time. Can you blame us if we've lost perspective?

You can? You do?

Okay. Whatever.

Because I really don't care anymore.  

A Tough Act To Follow

A day later and Super Bowl 51 seems even more unbelievable that it seemed in real time. The numbers simply don't correlate with the emotional context. The Falcons only rushed for 104 yards? Really? It seemed like 250. I'm sure Atlanta fans wish it had been 250. Or even 125 for that matter. I heard today that Brady passed for 246 yards in the 4th quarter alone. As ridiculous as his record-setting Super Bowl line of 43/62/466 was, that 4th quarter projects to a full game of 984 yards!

Wait - What?

That can't be right.

So yeah, I Googled it. 21 or 27 for 246.

Just imagine if he hadn't gotten off to a slow start.

The Greatest of All Time

It can't get any better than this, can it?

That's what I thought after Super Bowl 49.

Then Super Bowl 51 happened. The biggest comeback in Super Bowl history. The first overtime game in Super Bowl history. Tom Brady sets records for attempts, completions and yards, winning his 5th Lombardi Trophy and his 4th MVP. Julian Edelman made The Catch. James White set a record for receptions and scored 3 touchdowns including the game winner. Trey Flowers and Dont'a Hightower making plays. A defense that was gashed by the Falcons for forty minutes got back up on their feet and stoned Atlanta's league leading offense while Brady led the Patriots to 31 unanswered points that included two 2-point conversions.

I guess I was wrong. Sometimes life is like a movie.

Super Bowl 51 Drinking Games - Patriots Edition

We're down to hours. The big game is almost upon us. Guacamole will be dipped. Lucky chili will be eaten. Drinks will be drunk.

And if you need any encouragement, I can offer the following…

I'm Not Getting Over It

The message seems to be that I should just move on. Well, not me personally but everyone who's pigskin passport was issued by Patriots Nation. Move on. Get over it. Haters gonna hate so shake it off, shake it off. Let it go, let it go… Oh wait, that lyric is all about letting it all out while I'm being asked to keep it all inside. And you'll go gay if you sing it. Well, that's what I heard.

Where was I?

Oh, right. Unreasonably bitter and angry.