Tuesday, November 13, 2012

The Fault Lies Not in Our Stars But in Those Who Have Sex With Them

Groupies are everywhere and yet there don’t appear to be groupies for IT department mid-level factotum. Maybe it’s the office without windows. Hard to be seen by the trolling groupies when you don’t have a window.

 
David Petraeus was on his way to carving out quite a nice niche role in the History of the United States of America. Now, all the good things he did are simply back story. Now, all we care about is your penis. Some of us are waiting for the sex tapes to leak to the internet. A four-star general and skinny brunette knocking boots. Spandex camo. I have to think a riding crop was involved. Now, David Petraeus, welcome to your cross-listing on the List of Federal Political Sex Scandals, US version.

Look, I get it. Blow jobs are men’s kryptonite. The answer is always yes when the question is, “May I suck on your dick?”

As for why women want to have sex with rock stars, movie stars, sports stars, four-star generals, politicians and billionaires; how should I know? I’m an IT department mid-level factotum.

David Petraeus was tested many times in his life, by adversity, by the challenges of the 21st century battlefield, by the complex realities of espionage in a matrixed world of borderless cultures and evolving technologies and he faced the triple-dog-dare of pussy and he met each and every one of those tests head on.

Straight up.

Firm and erect.

With blood in his… eye.

Like a bullet train plunging deep into a dark tunnel.

Yeah. I said it.


No comments:

Post a Comment