Every Meal a Banquet

I’ll say this for the NFL. It never fails to satisfy.

So, you thought the Cowboys beating the Giants somewhere in the swamps of Jersey was a surprise? I guess we should’ve seen that as a leading indicator rather than a statistical anomaly. Who saw the Skins on the road with a rookie QB beating the Saints in the Big Easy?  Okay, maybe you had that one. (I didn’t. Drew Brees! What the hell, man?) Some things, though, simply cannot be explained.

Exhibit A

Cleveland’s 28-year old rookie QB, Brandon Weeden, finished the game with a quarterback rating of 5.1 and the Browns still managed to cover, losing to the Eagles 17-16. How do you lose by just 1 point when your QB is that bad? Well, it helps when the opposing QB throws 4 interceptions, I suppose. Eagles’ fans who bet the mortgage on this one were wrapping their guns with their Michael Vick jerseys to muffle the muzzle blast as they shot their television sets. Long term, though, maybe this will be a good thing. To make a playoff run you need a few inexplicable wins like this one. Chill out, bro! Your QB threw 4 INT and you still won!

Outliers

Are the Jets that good or are the Bills that bad? It’s harder for me to believe the former so I’m going with the latter. You have to feel badly for the good people of Buffalo. The Bills usually wait till week 12 or 13 to break their fans’ hearts. Week 1? That’s harsh. Unfortunately for Jets’ fans, this only counts as one win. Are you telling yourself Mark Sanchez has made the leap? Are you telling your boys you always had Sanchez’ back? Sanchez is the man! Hey, I suppose anything is possible but I’ll have to admit I didn’t see that one coming. I guess we’ll see if Sanchez has been upgraded from business to first class next week as the Jets travel to Pittsburgh to play a pissed off Steelers team.

Peyton Manning is just somebody Indianapolis fans used to know. At some point this season, they will dig through their closets and don their faded number 18 jerseys then retreat to their partially-finished basement, sobbing as they load up their DVD from Super Bowl XLI. Come on, Colts’ fans! Life is all about finding excuses to throw a party and Payton Manning – you know you love him! – in the playoffs will give you a reason to party all the way to the Super Bowl. Well, most of the way. Adopt the Broncos for the playoffs. Well, up until the AFC Championship.

Nut Punch. There’s no other way to describe the Packers’ loss, at home, to the ballers from my ci-tay by the bayeeyay. Shanked in the prison exercise yard while the guards watch with malice in their eyes and a sneer on their lips. Okay, that might work, too. Before the game, I considered a hangover from that playoff loss to the Giants but I decided against it. After all, this was a team that won a Super Bowl not that long ago. No, I thought, the Packers will stake their claim on the inside track to the Super Bowl with a signature win at home against a quality opponent.

Not so much.

Hey, maybe it’s just one data point.

The score could easily be reversed should these two teams meet again. Right?

Yeah, no.

One other thing…

ZOMG Becky! Joe Flacco is an elite quarterback, yo!

Top 5

Tom Terrific has now thrown the fifth most TD passes in NFL history, pushing HOFer John Elway into sixth place. He took care of this small bit of history in the Patriots TKO of the Titans in Music City. Opening Day really couldn’t have gone much better for the Patriots. Before the game, there were questions about the new and presumably improved defense. The answer? A defense that can shut down a running game and make plays – the Chandler Jones strip-sack/Dont’a Hightower fumble recovery for a TD has been playing on an endless loop in that little room in my brain that is devoted exclusively to sports.

And for one day, at least, we have an offense that can run the ball almost as effectively as they throw and catch it.

Steven Ridley for a buck and a quarter? We all would’ve been trading high fives if Ridley had rushed for 80, wouldn’t we? Brady has mad skills with play action and now defenses have a reason to freeze on the ball fake to Ridley. By the way, Ridley is on pace to rush for 2,000 yards and 16 TD. Gronkowski and Hernandez are also on pace for 16 TD.

Lost in the boo-hooing over Wes Welker only getting three catches and five targets was the undermentioned debut of Brandon Lloyd, who led NWE receivers with 69 yards and made two highlight reel catches, one the reviewed reception at the sideline and the other that sweet, sweet back-shoulder catch. No, they didn’t connect on the fake reverse with Lloyd wide open down the seam but I suspect that won’t happen again.

That’s right. The Patriots won 34-13 and left points on the field.

There aren’t many places better to be than New England in the fall.

Yeah, I Watched this Movie