It's Probable I'm Questionable

So, NFL TV ratings are down?

Maybe you shouldn’t have suspended pigskin heartthrob Tom Brady for four games.

The only man doing worse with white, college-educated women than Roger Goodell right now is Donald Trump. Those women are not voting for Trump and they all wish they were Gisele Bundchen.

And so do their husbands.

I’ll be here all week.

Bank

With that third win in the bank, Sunday morning is all coffee and donuts. A beautiful autumn day. I’ll treat the wife to a movie and dinner and try not to get caught checking the scoreboard on my phone. The only chance the Bills have is a debilitating case of jet lag for the Cardinals. The Dolphins should take care of business playing at home against the hapless Browns. Let’s face it, all I really care about are Manish Mehta’s first place New York Jets. Can the Chiefs stop the Jets in Arrowhead? Yeah, I’m not counting on that.

All Three Phases

Say it with me now. Situational. Football.

Sometimes that situation is starting your 3rd string quarterback on a short week against a team with coaches that know you better than anyone else because they all worked or played for you.

Tailgating in my Living Room

I’ve had some variation of Mexican food for the first two games, both wins, so you know what I’m firing up for tonight. Enchiladas, jalapeno poppers, salsa, guac and chips. Guacamole isn’t just for the Super Bowl, you know.

Best Season Ever

I know it didn’t feel like it when Jimmy Garoppolo was falling to one knee, blinded by pain.

I know it didn’t feel like it in the second half when the Dolphins were roaming freely in the Patriots secondary.

I know it didn’t feel like it when Stephen Gostkowski’s potential game-clinching field goal attempt went wide right.

But trust me.

This is how the movie “Best Season Ever” starts.

The Next One

The Patriots were 9.5 point underdogs on the road last week and won. Now the Dolphins come to Foxborough as 6.5 point underdogs.

That probably doesn’t mean anything, right?

Right?

The Encore

The second start of Jimmy Garoppolo’s career was going to be the biggest. Of course, that was because we thought it would be coming off a loss. And because it’s a divisional game. At home. You can’t lose a divisional home game. Well, unless you’re the Buffalo Bills. Then you absolutely can do that. If we’re being honest, we all thought 3-1-0 was the best case scenario for Jimmy G. 3-1-0? We were going to be happy with 2-2-0. The Pats would lose in Arizona and they’d lose on a short week to the Texans. But they had to win the divisional games against Miami and Buffalo. They had to. That’s why Week 2 was going to be so important.

It still is.

The Quarterback Non-Controversy

Maybe it’s just that everyone has been so jealous of Tom Brady for so long they’d like to believe he’s actually jealous of someone else.

I’m looking at you Jimmy G!

Perfect Sunday

No Gronk. No Nate Solder or Sebastian Vollmer. No Ninkovich. No Dion Lewis.

No Tom Brady.

On the road, playing a team with legitimate Super Bowl aspirations.

Hey, everybody’s got their problems. All anyone ever cares about is results.

New England 23, Arizona 21.

W.

This was the game they were supposed to lose. Even with Brady this was supposed to be a tough game to win. The most optimistic of Jimmy G boosters conceded a 3-1-0 record would be pretty much the best case scenario. All of us felt a 2-2-0 start would be good enough, especially if those two wins were against Miami and Buffalo.

Now?

Now we’re on to Miami.

Sunday Morning Randomizer

Karma’s a bitch but I can’t help myself. I’ll be rooting for the Ravens, Bengals and Seahawks today. Okay. Not really. I’ll be rooting against the Bills, Jets and Dolphins. Looking at those matchups, it feels like all of those dominoes could fall in my favor. Not that I trust the Ravens and Joe Flacco. Or the Bengals and Marvin Lewis. It would be a shock for the Dolphins to fly across the country and beat the Seahawks in Seattle. That couldn’t happen, right?

If things go my way, the worst case scenario would be the Patriots flying out of Phoenix tied for 1st place in the AFC East.

Gronkless in Phoenix

How much did the betting line move when it was learned that Rob Gronkowski didn’t make the flight out to Arizona? Six points? No Gronk, no Nate Solder and of course, no Dion Lewis, Rob Ninkovich or Tom Brady.

But these are the Patriots. They eat adversity like cold pizza for breakfast.

Take the points.

Always One More Shoe

The final 53 is set. For now.

With the benefit of a good night’s sleep…

Bubbling

The fourth preseason game is always a hot, steaming mess. And not just because of the late summer humidity. Starters make a cameo if they play at all and after that mere chaos reigns. Or should I say mere weirdness? Taking his last reps before October (for reasons that pass all understanding), Tom Brady played the entire first half while Jimmy Garoppolo remained on the sideline, encased in bubblewrap.

Regardless, the Patriots and every other NFL team will need to cut 22 players to get down to the final 53 by end of business on Saturday.

It’s a tough game, and not just on the field.