The Enemy of My Enemy

The Bye Week is bad karma for fans. Without our home boys to root for we have little choice but to root against our division rivals. That’s purely negative energy, dude. (Can I call you “dude?”) It’s the dark side of The Force, Luke. Granted, I root for the Patriots and anyone who’s playing the Jets, Dolphins or Bills every week but over the bye there’s no positive energy from rooting for my pigskin heroes to offset the negative. Perhaps I can dull the effect with vodka.

It’s worth a try.

 

So, I will be rooting for the Colts (over the Dolphins), Houston (over the Bills) and the New York sports media (over the Jets, also on a bye) this week. 

The Miami-Indianapolis game is the much ballyhooed match up of surprising 4-3-0 teams and their rookie QBs. Phins’ QB Most Likely to Legally Change His Last Name to “Since Dan Marino” Ryan Tannehill has surprised with his moxie. Next in Line of Historically Great Colts’ QBs Andrew Luck has already won more games than Peyton Manning did in his rookie season. The winner of this game will solidify their Wildcard cred. The loser will be a still surprising 4-4-0.

Colts 21, Dolphins 20.

Maybe I shouldn’t root against the Bills in this one. It somehow feels much worse than 3-4-0 in western New York. Maybe it’s having the bye week to think about their junk punch loss to the Titans. Maybe it’s the prospect of having the Mario Williams signing – which is already on everyone’s list of Top 10 Worst Free Agent Signings of All Time – placed in pigskin perspective with extreme prejudice. Maybe it’s the growing realization that Ryan Fitzpatrick is who we thought he was.

Texans 38, Bills 12.

I would also like to see…

Cleveland beat visiting Baltimore 9-7 because it will restart the “Is Joe Flacco elite?” debate.

The Panthers and Cam Newton win a game because his body language is even making me feel uncomfortable.

Seattle runs the table at home to put that loss by the Patriots in better perspective.

Dallas gives Atlanta their first loss because it will get Jerry Jones back in “The Cowboys are Super Bowl Bound!” mode because that’s hilarious.

The Steelers bitch about having to fly in on the day of the game, making that the reason why they lost. So tone deaf!

The Eagles score 45 points and lose because they don’t have any timeouts left and can’t get a potential game-winning field goal set up.