The
NFL season is, in and of itself, a small data sample. Just sixteen games over
seventeen weeks. A key injury in week three can destroy a team’s chances to
make the playoffs; a blown call in the 4th quarter, a pass slips
through a receiver’s hands into the waiting arms of a defensive back who takes
it in for the winning score, a potential game-winning field goal hits the
upright and falls harmlessly to the ground. All of a sudden, 10-6-0 is 7-9-0 and
your fans are reenacting Act III of Oedipus
Rex. That’s right; a tie is like kissing your sister and finishing out of
the playoffs is like having sex with your mother.
Like
most seasons in recent memory, the Patriots will not be having sex with their
mothers this year. Still, the uninspiring win in Jacksonville has me reaching
into my jar of rationalizations for solace. I’m pulling the post-coital
depression card for this one. After back to back games against the best the NFL
has to offer in the Texans and 49ers, it was only natural the Pats would have
an emotional and physical letdown against the least the NFL has to offer in the
Jaguars. I can almost talk myself into thinking that the way New England came
back from the 13-3 standing eight count to win 23-16 showed the Patriots do
have what it takes to go far into the playoffs.
Almost.
Winning
when you don’t have your “A” game against the Jaguars is one thing. Winning
back-to-back roadies against the Texans and Broncos – a likely playoff scenario
– will take a lot more than the Patriots showed last Sunday. Before we bury the
Patriots, though, let’s consider the 49ers no show in Seattle. If those two
teams meet again in the playoffs with San Francisco hosting, who you got?
It’s
easy to make too much of one game. The Patriots blow out the Texans and they’re
the best team in football. They lose a heartbreaker to the 49ers and San Fran
sits atop the pigskin world until their next game, an embarrassing loss to the
Seahawks. New England scuffles but wins in Jacksonville and they’re a troubled
team that’s lost its identity. Should they roll the Dolphins this Sunday,
winning by 30+, will we start dropping that “Super Bowl favorite” prefix on the
Pats again?
Probably
not. “Super Bowl contender?” Maybe. Let’s see what goes down this Sunday.
The
AFC Championship runs through Denver for now. Will it come down to Brady and
Manning again? Ideally, at least from a television ratings perspective, they
will meet in the AFC Championship game. I know that’s one of those, “You have
to love this if you’re a football fan” kind of match ups but I for one would be
more than happy with a Patriots-Ravens rematch. I’d be delighted with a
Patriots-49ers Super Bowl.
The
Broncos band wagon is sagging under the weight of those many pigskin pundits
and bobbleheads with the come hither look for Peyton Manning, gentleman pigskin
hero. How much would a Peyton Manning porno tape go for? Millions, am I right?
That’s how “future Senator from the great state of whatever state Peyton
chooses” Manning is. And now he’s back, with a new team, from the multiple neck
surgeries that cost him a season in his prime and Manning is just ballin’ like
he never changed backup bands after a year in rehab. Why wouldn’t everyone –
outside the other playoff cities, of course – be rooting for a story like
Manning’s to have a happy ending? And speaking of everybody, since it looks
like New York will be out of the playoffs in both brackets, you can expect the
national media headquartered there to adopt the huge forehead of Peyton Manning
as its new favorite body part.
Not Quite the
Greatest Story Ever Told…
I
just can’t quit the Jets. I can’t look away. Tebow
as scapegoat? How biblical. Tebow was accused of quitting on his team when
the story surfaced that Tebow asked out of the Wildcat. Several equally
confusing/short on direct quotes stories followed. Maybe Tebow said he didn’t only want to run the Wildcat; he wanted
to play quarterback full time. Maybe Rex knew he’d only use Tebow in the Wildcat so he got Jeremy Kerley ready. We may
never know what was said between Ryan and Tebow but if there was any doubt as
to where Tim Tebow will not be playing next year, we learned everything we need
to know when Ryan refused to straight up corroborate Tebow’s version of things.
The
possible futures for the Jets are pretty bleak and that’s saying something
after 2012.
Let’s
say Tebow goes to Jacksonville next year and goes to Tom
House’s throwing camp and throws well enough deep to his wide receivers to
keep defenses honest, Maurice Jones-Drew has a resurgent year running the read
option with Timmy and the Jaguars get to the playoffs while Mark Sanchez and
Rex Ryan explore the meaning of insanity for the Jets as they challenge the Buffalo
Bills for 4th place in the AFC East.
Or…
Let’s
the Jets trade Tebow to Jacksonville for Blaine Gabbert! They name Gabbert the
starter! Rich Kotite begins trending on twitter!
Or…
Let’s
say they let Sanchez go and eat the salary cap hit and wind up with some kind
of mash up of Greg McElroy (between concussions) and a rookie – would they go
for USC’s Matt Barkley after their experience with fellow USC grad Sanchez?
Anyway, let’s say Sanchez goes to Arizona for a 7th round draft
pick. He narrowly beats out some combo platter of Kevin Kolb/John Skelton/Ryan
Lindley/Bryan Hoyer. He leads the Cardinals to a 13-3-0 record and…
Okay,
that wouldn’t happen.
Here’s Muse, apropos of nothing other than being totally awesome!
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