April is the Cruelest Month

I've reached the point where my paranoia grows with each new mock draft.  Draft prospects have been deconstructed; parsed into 40s and cone drills and bench reps, vertical and standing long jump.  This one isn’t the ideal height for an OLB.  This one already has four kids.  This one is inconsistent.  That one has short arms.  This one had a poor combine but an excellent pro day.  This one's production dropped off his senior year.  That one didn’t play against big time competition.  This one is a one-year wonder.  And those are the Top 15; they’ll certainly be gone by the time the Patriots trade the #27 pick for a 3^rd and a 4^th this year and a 1^st next year. 

  

Like most Patriots fans (anecdotally), I’m looking for a draft that targets defense across the board.  Pass rush.  Safety.  More pass rush.  So, I fully expect to see a wide receiver somewhere in the mix and a trade down with either 27 or 31.  Not the sexy.  Is there a Lawrence Taylor in this year’s draft?  Doesn’t sound like it.  Better to pick up 4-5 solid prospects then, isn’t it?  I know, I know.  Still not the sexy. 

Deconstruction is the Highest Form of Flattery

I love pieces where one blogger deconstructs another blogger’s/writer’s/movie maker’s/artist’s work.  It’s an invitation to hilarity.  Sarcasm. Sneering, naked condescension. Funny, funny stuff. Not blow-milk-out-your-nose funny but still… enjoyable.  Like the Fantasy Knuckleheads break down of Mel Kiper, Jr.’s latest mock draft. 

Let’s check out Mel’s Pats’ picks:

#27) OLB Shea McClellin, Boise State – That McClellin’s hero is Mike Vrabel is a nice back story but I have to agree with Mr. Knuckleheads that this would be reaching on a guy who looks a lot like Dane Fletcher and Rob Ninkovich.  Would you use a 1^st round pick on those guys? Besides, you already have those guys.  Still on the board in Kiper’s mock: DE/OLB Nick Perry (who put up big numbers in a BCS conference), Peter Konz (center isn’t a pressing need with Dan Connolly signed) and upside-freak WR Stephen Hill (so sexy!). 

#31) DL Derek Wolfe, Cincinnati – WTF?  Have you heard of this guy?  Me either.  Mr. Knuckleheads calls it the worst pick in Mel’s mock.  I wholeheartedly endorse this position.  Yeesh.  Trade down, Bill!  Trade down!

Mr. Knuckleheads is not totally trustworthy himself.  In his mock draft, he gives New England DB Janoris Jenkins at #27.  Jenkins is the Antonio Cromartie of the 2012 draft.  Consider this: CB Janoris Jenkins’ family drama more troublesome to his draft status than drug arrests, bar fight.  Drug arrests.  A bar fight.  But what really scares NFL GM’s?  Jenkins’ four children by three mothers.  Still on Mr. Knucklehead’s board when the Patriots take the craziest mofo in the 2012 draft: DE/OLB Nick Perry, LB Dont’a Hightower, C Peter Konz and DE/OLB Whitney Mercilus, who the Patriots finally draft at #31.  

Seriously, dude?  Janoris Jenkins is getting drafted by the Patriots?

At 27?

Then I think…

What if Janoris Jenkins is the next Darrelle Revis? 

If he’s still on the board at 31, then... maybe.