Hasn’t
that been the case for the last ten years? As I recall, even the 2013 Patriots,
with five starters on IR, was subject to its unfair share of criticism for only getting to the AFC Championship.
For
our friends in Buffalo and Cleveland and a dozen other NFL cities, let’s
acknowledge that this is one of those good problems to have. Super Bowl
expectations do not weigh heavy on the shoulders of Doug Marrone or Mike
Pettine. Not that they don’t have problems of their own. I’m sure they would
gladly trade their problems for the “anything short of a Super Bowl” problem.
The
Patriots have lost just two starters on
IR this year; Jerod Mayo and Stevan Ridley. Mayo’s loss has been offset by
the Pro Bowl-level play of Dont’a Hightower and Jamie Collins and the trades
for Akeem Ayers and Jonathan Casillas. Ridley has barely been missed thanks to
the play of Jonas Gray and the pick-up of LeGarrette Blount. But I’m burying
the lede here. The big difference for New England this year over last is that Rob
Gronkowski is healthy.
At
the risk of stating the painfully obvious, Gronk is every bit as important an
offensive weapon as Dez Bryant is to the Cowboys, Demaryius Thomas is to the
Broncos, Jordy Nelson is to the Packers or Calvin Johnson is to the Lions.
After a slow start in September – to be expected coming off an ACL injury – and
a Week 17 spent in a hyperbaric chamber at a secure, undisclosed location, Gronkowski
finished 15th in receiving yardage. He tied for 8th
in receiving 1st downs (60 of his 82 receptions), finished 11th
in YAC, tied for 10th in catches of 20+ yards and tied for 4th
in receiving touchdowns, with 12 scores in his 15 games.
He
is still too fast for linebackers and too big for safeties. He demands a
double-team and has the athleticism to make spectacular catches in
traffic. He tips the field, opening up space for Julian Edelman, Brandon
LaFell and Shane Vereen. And he blocks.
Do not
even talk to me about Jimmy Graham. He is not a tight end. Just stop it. The
discussion regarding the best tight end in the NFL begins and ends with Rob
Gronkowski. That’s it. That’s the list.
As
a pro football fan and more specifically as a New England Patriots fan, I have
been waiting for the chance to see a healthy Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski in
the playoffs. Gronk’s name belongs on the
list of most receiving TDs in a single season, playoffs.
Gronk
isn’t the only reason for optimism. There’s a championship caliber defense
lining up on the other side of the ball for the Patriots for the first time
since 2004. They have one of the better special teams units in the NFL and
perhaps the best kicker in the league should a game come down to a field goal.
And they have Tom Brady.
I
have to say, it doesn’t look like it could’ve turned out much better for the
Patriots. Rex Ryan has lost his job, Joe Philbin has kept his and the Bills don’t
have a 1st round pick in 2015, having traded that pick away to draft
the third or fourth best wide receiver in the 2014 draft. The Jets will be
rebuilding, we can pencil
the Dolphins in for another 8-8-0 season and the Bills will be hoping their
defense can carry Kyle
Orton EJ Manuel to the Super Bowl.
Thanks
to the Denver Broncos apparent lack of interest in having the Seahawks kick
their asses on international television second year in a row, the Patriots Week
17 matchup with the Buffalo Bills has been rendered moot. The Broncos lost not
only their Monday night game against the primetime-phobic Cincinnati Bengals, they
ceded the #1 seed to the Pats and other than the 3rd quarter flurry,
looked unambiguously unimpressive in the process. Peyton Manning’s four
interceptions had pigskin pundits and bobbleheads revisiting Manning’s multiple
neck surgeries, his 38 years on this planet and puzzling over the mental errors
committed by one of the game’s most cerebral quarterbacks.
It
seems to me Manning has been given a far more reverential eulogy following the
Queen City Catastrophe than the dismissive notices handed Tom Brady after the
Monday Night Massacre in Kansas City. As a Pats fan I get that I’m probably
just a bit too sensitive to the worshipful tone of pigskin pundits and
bobbleheads as they discuss Peyton Manning and his awesomely awesome
awesomeness. Critiques of Brady when the Patriots were 2-2-0 were as clinical
and decisive as an autopsy. Brady was done. Belichick should try to hornswoggle
some rube GM into forking over a 1st round pick for Brady’s corpse
and hand the ball to Jimmy Garoppolo. Pigskin pundits and bobbleheads seem
confused and nostalgic in their reactions to Manning’s descent into mediocrity
over the second half of the season, a fall that reached terminal velocity with
his four interceptions Monday night. Brady was done. Manning’s performance
is worrisome.
It’s
just one game but it was startling seeing Manning look so very much like Jay
Cutler.
For
weeks, the talk has been all about New England’s need to secure home field for
the playoffs, to avoid a repeat of 2013 and an conference championship game in
Denver. The consensus opinion seemed to be that whoever secured the #1 seed in
the AFC – be it the Broncos or the Patriots – would have the inside track to
Glendale and Super Bowl XLIX.
After
last Monday night’s game, it’s hard to imagine a healthy New England roster
(I’m looking at you, Rob Gronkowski) would’ve had any problem winning in
Denver.
Yes,
I’m glad we won’t need to find out.
Week 17 Decisions…
To
play or not to play, that is the internet meme. Sure, this game has no
implications as far as the playoffs go but it isn’t completely meaningless. Tickets
have been sold. And re-gifted to the brother-in-law. This is professional football, after all. Player
incentives in six and seven figures based on performance and playing time metrics
hang in the balance.
More
importantly, we cannot put the entire roster in bubble wrap with a “Do Not Open
Till The Divisional Round” tag. Forty-six players will dress for this Sunday’s
game. It’s like a rule or something.
Tom
Brady will be playing because he’s Tom Brady. Ideally – from my perspective – Brady doesn’t
play at all but that doesn’t seem possible let alone likely. So, taking the
impossible out of the equation, let’s say the ideal scenario has New England
starting fast on offense and Brady taking a seat following the first series in
the 3rd quarter. Brady and Vince Wilfork can share Jimmy Garoppolo jokes, do their Rob
Gronkowski impressions for each other, discuss long-term investment strategies.
Darrelle
Revis will play. He and Brady are cut from the same cloth.
Rob
Gronkowski will start because he promised he would play all 16 games this
season and Belichick will make sure he gets to keep that promise. I hold my
breath every time Gronkowski is smashing and dashing through opposing
secondaries, nervously checking the edges of the TV screen for T.J. Ward, only
allowing myself to exhale when Gronk is walking back to the huddle – or spiking
the ball in the end zone. I’m hoping for a lot of Tim Wright this Sunday.
The lame and the halt
are numerous;
how much of this has to do with Bill Belichick’s perverse attention to detail
with his injury reports is open to debate, of course. Still, the extra week of
rest that could be afforded to Julian Edelman, Dan Connolly and others would not only help
those players get healthy for the playoffs, it would give their backups
valuable reps in game action. I don’t think the extra week of downtime is going
to hurt Edelman or anyone else listed as questionable.
The Prognosis
Yes,
the Steelers are on a roll, the Chargers are flat out insane and Peyton Manning
is still Peyton Manning. Mostly. Whatever. If the Patriots play their best football
in all three phases they can’t be beaten by any team in the AFC. They still have
to do that, of course, but does anyone think it’s a long shot? It’s the
opposite of a long shot. Okay, maybe it’s not the exact opposite but it’s at
least 165 degrees off of a long shot.
And
the Super Bowl?
A
Patriots-Seahawks match up would print money. The last team to win back-to-back
Lombardi’s trying to stop the team attempting that same feat. Brady and Russell
Wilson. Gronk. The enigma that is Marshawn Lynch. Darrelle Revis and Richard
Sherman. Wow. Would there even be room for Peter Carroll’s New England years? That
could be the most analyzed, most watched, most bet Super Bowl ever.
Do
I think the Patriots can beat the Seahawks on a neutral site? Yes, I do. Would
I rather see the Patriots face the Packers? Well, it would be nice to see New
England avenge the loss in Green Bay as a sweetener to seal the deal but
winning a Super Bowl really doesn’t require a free dessert, does it?
The
drumbeat for an MVP for Rob Gronkowski started a few weeks
ago.
Given the Patriots hostile takeover of the AFC correlated to Gronk’s return to
form, it wasn’t a ridiculous proposition. Like J.J. Watt, however, nobody
seemed to give Gronk much of a chance to actually win, not with Aaron Rodgers, DeMarco
Murray and the Ghost of Peyton Manning putting up big numbers. Lately, some
local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads have taken a look at Gronkowski’s award-season
credentials, with Christopher Price of WEEI and Field Yates of ESPN (Insider
Content) making the case for the big Polish sausage
aficionado
as Patriots MVP. Not all of the locals agree with Gronk’s candidacy, of course.
Some, like Jerry Thornton, also of WEEI, think
the real MVP of the Patriots is Darrelle Revis while Tom E. Curran of CSNNE doesn’t
think Revis is just the MVP of the Patriots, he thinks he’s the MVP of the
league.
You’d
have to think the Dolphins were feeling pretty good at halftime. They had
dominated the first 30 minutes of play. The Patriots seemed to crumble at the
end of the half, playing poorly in all three phases of the game to set up Miami
for the spectacular one-handed TD grab by Mike Wallace and a one-point, 14-13
deficit. Everyone remembered what happened in the second half of the Week 1
game in Miami, right?
I
think I read somewhere that if everything breaks right this Sunday, the
Patriots could not only win the AFC East but secure the #1 seed and home field
for the playoffs as well. By “everything” I mean the Broncos losing at San
Diego, the Colts losing to the Texans at home, the Bengals losing at Cleveland
and… You know, it would be great if the Pats could just win the AFC East this
Sunday.
There’s
a scene in “A Christmas Story” where Ralphie is
helping his dad change a spare tire. As Ralphie’s dad is attempting to break
his own personal record for fastest flat tire change, the lug nuts are knocked
into the air, and as they arc in slow motion out into the darkness Ralphie
says, “fuuuudge.”
Only
he didn’t say fudge…
Fair
warning, I won’t be saying fudge after the break, either…
The
Patriots control their own destiny. Sort of. I’m sure their opponents will have
something to say about it but if New England wins out, they will have the #1
seed and home field throughout the playoffs.
Losing
is terrible. Everything that’s good about winning is nowhere to be found in
losing. Losing is depressing. It sucks. It hurts like a kick in the balls.
Okay, it doesn’t hurt that badly (having experienced both I feel safe in making
this judgment) but it’s close. So, why do I feel so good today?
On
the one hand, it counts just as much as the Week 8 Bears game. It counts the
same as any other game. Well, out of conference games are pretty low down the
list of games with playoff implications. I suppose there must be some advanced
analytics that could be applied here. Intuitively, I know that division games
are always the most important games on the schedule. Those games carry huge
playoff implications. Aren’t they actually worth more than 1.0 games in the
standings because of tiebreakers? 1.05? 1.1? Can someone with math skills help
me out here?
'Tis
the season for thankfulness and like most citizens of Patriots Nation, I've got
a lot to be thankful for.
As
for the rest of the NFL, well, thanks for the schadenfreude, I guess.
We've
reached that point in the season where we have a pretty good idea of which teams
will be in the playoffs and a very good idea of which teams will not. Yes, yes;
still a lot of football to play. As those of us in New England (and Green Bay)
await a legit Super Bowl preview this Sunday, fans in New York, Washington, Tennessee,
Jacksonville, Oakland and the NFC South can only hope to drown their pigskin
sorrows in gravy on Thanksgiving. As delicious as that may sound I recommend
vodka for drowning sorrow. Not on the mashed potatoes and stuffing, of course.
On the side with a twist of lime.
I
get it. You just got your ass kicked. It wasn't supposed to be like this. The
defense was going to dominate and the offense was going to keep it simple and
put some points on the board. It was going to be a signature win.
I’m really not comfortable with all this positivity. It just
makes me think something bad is going to happen. Won’t anyone pick against the
Patriots this weekend? What? Adam
Schefter is picking the Lions to win? Yes!
I would like to know what it was Sergio Brown
said or did to Rob Gronkowski because I never want to say or do that. You know,
just in case Rob Gronkowski is standing right behind me and I didn't notice.
Gronk blocking Sergio Brown into a camera stanchion was such a quintessential football moment. It’s too bad the camera was set up there. I think
Gronk might've taken Brown all the way up the tunnel if the camera stanchion
hadn't stopped him. If you've ever played the game at any level I think you've
seen one player absolutely destroy another in a blocking drill. There’s
usually some context to these moments. Maybe the coaches are out of control,
barking incomprehensibly, spit flying everywhere, it's hot, it's the second of
two-a-days, you’re on your second or third time through the drill (you've lost count) and any
semblance of humanity has been lost. You've been reduced to your primeval
essence. You want to kill and eat the kid across from you. Sometimes the kid
who gets rolled has it coming, sometimes it's just the luck of the draw with
the fourth-string running back lining up against the starting right tackle. Either way,
it's hilarious.
I don’t know what bothers me more; the haters or the
bandwagon jumpers.
The haters are annoying but ultimately pathetic and certainly
doomed if it’s true that whatever you put out into the universe comes back to
you tenfold. That’s a hate-filled Twinkie thirty-five feet long,
weighing 600 pounds. It is, as they say, a pretty big Twinkie.
The bandwagon jumpers are also annoying. And unctuous.
Whenever I’m around bandwagon jumpers I find myself checking my pocket for my
wallet every few minutes and I don’t even care if they’re offering to buy me a
drink, which is, of course, the very least they could do.
Anything can happen. I admit, I didn’t feel that way a month
ago. A month ago this looked like a blowout loss at home. No chance. No hope.
After the loss to the Chiefs, it wasn’t just the 2014 season that was over,
Brady was over, Belichick was over and the New England Patriots could only hope
that Jimmy Garoppolo would be ready for opening day 2015. Today? There’s a
chance. It won’t be easy, not without Jerod Mayo and Chandler Jones, but
there’s a chance.
Four weeks ago we’d all forgotten something we should never
have forgotten.
Some of us seem genetically predisposed to rise to the
occasion. The rest of us must’ve missed that particular nucleotide. Tom Brady
must’ve been James Bond in another lifetime. He certainly played this past Sunday
like he had a license to kill.
We knew it was coming. As soon as the schedule was announced
we knew it was coming. The six game mid-season gauntlet that would make or
break the 2014 Patriots. And that was when everyone thought they were Super
Bowl contenders. Now? Now it seems they’ll be lucky to go 2-4-0.
Maybe 1-5-0.
Ouch.
I wasn’t buying it – certainly not 1-5-0 – until I heard
Chandler Jones would be out for a month with a hip injury and then, okay, I
still wasn’t buying it. I get it though. This doesn’t look good. Succumbing to
the siren call of recency: New England cannot stop the run and generally
they’re not very good, nowhere near as good as their record, having to eke out
wins against the woeful Jets and other bad teams and their signature win came
against a Bengals team we thought was good but now realize are pigskin
charlatans. Tom Brady has had a good stretch, sure, but he’s no longer elite
and the game has clearly passed Bill Belichick by.
The Patriots are about to be stripped naked, poked with
pitchforks and chased through the streets of Foxborough by some actual good
teams.
Kill
the monster!
Okay, let me start with this. Let’s say the Patriots do go
2-4-0. That would put them at 7-6-0 with three divisional games left to finish
the season (vs. Miami, @NYJ, vs. Buffalo). They would need to sweep those games
and hope 10-6-0 wins any and all tiebreakers.
It’s doable.
But not ideal.
Could the Patriots do better than 2-4-0 over the next six
games?
Chicago
Bears – This is a home game for the Patriots so it’s a must get.
The Bears will be loaded for, um, the Bears will be desperate and is often the
case with the “us against the world” scenario following a locker room meltdown
like Brandon Marshall had after the Bears extended their home winless streak
against the Dolphins. Expect the visitor to bring their “A” game. See, Oakland
Raiders. The Patriots are going to find it difficult on defense missing Jerod
Mayo and for the next three games, Chandler Jones.
Quick
Aside: I was intrigued by the Akeem
Ayers trade. Until I heard about Ayer’s multiple off-season knee
surgeries. Yeesh! Okay, if his knees are all better and there’s even the
slightest chance Ayers can return to his 2012 form, then I guess it’s worth a 6th
round pick. As for the rumored signing of defensive end Alan
Branch, well, this
is not encouraging and for whatever reason, he’s yet to practice (and his
signing isn’t yet official). He did play for Seattle a couple years ago. I’ll
hold out hope that these are the type of mid-level veteran acquisitions that
once made Belichick famous. Okay…
I’d be happy to see the Patriots go to a blitz-heavy game
plan but that just doesn’t sound like Belichick, does it? Still, I’d like to
see Jay Cutler sacked a lot which will be hard without Chandler Jones unless
the Pats blitz. Why is it so much fun to see Jay Cutler get sacked? It’s not
just me, is it? Anyway, I think the Patriots can outscore the Bears. Something
like 43-37. New England gets the extra possessions they need to win off two
turnovers. I mean, it’s Jay Cutler. I think I’m betting the under, really.
Patriots 6-2-0
Denver
Broncos – Another “Everything Must Go!” sale for the Manning vs.
Brady cottage industry. The Broncos are kind of juggernauty again in 2014 both on
offense and on defense. I expect the Patriots to be involved in yet another
shootout but sadly come up short. (Alternative Future: New England wins on a
Julian Edelman punt return. Ooh! Ooh! A Danny Amendola kickoff return!) Is
there really such a thing as a good loss? I’m going with no. You’ve got to
believe Aqib Talib will be moderately jacked for this one. Do you think Wes
Welker remembers that he once played for the Patriots? (Ha, ha! What? Too
soon?) If he does, I’m guessing bygones are not bygones. In fact, I can’t
believe it’s not personal and I definitely
don’t believe it’s over. Plus, Peyton Manning has the kind of weapons Tom Brady
never gets (except for that one time). I’m thinking 49-45 Broncos. Hey, if the
Pats can only beat the Broncos once this season… Am I right?
Patriots 6-3-0
Indianapolis
Colts – The Pats hit the road after their bye week to take on a
Colts team that has to be thinking a Super Bowl XLIX berth is a real
possibility for them. The AFC South is theirs to lose and Andrew Luck is the
total package. Can the Patriots catch the Colts blinded by the stars in their
eyes? It’s not something you can count on but it could happen. Any team can
come out flat and have a bad day. It’s one of life’s great pigskin mysteries. Sometimes
all it takes is a bad half, though I wouldn’t count on any halftime lead being
safe against Luck and the Colts offense.
Maybe it’s the bye week that has me thinking the Patriots can
steal this one. Belichick will have two weeks to game plan and there’s even a
long shot that Chandler Jones could be back for this game (probably not). Chuck
Pagano and his staff are more than capable and Indy will be coming off a bye
week, too, but I still have to give Belichick the edge here. Brady will be able
to put points on the board against the Colts defense. I’ll go 31-16 Patriots
for the usual and customary reasons; Belichick and Brady.
Patriots 7-3-0
Detroit
Lions – After dropping the Broncos game the Patriots can ill
afford another loss at home. I can’t see it happening against the Lions. Yes,
the defensive line is formidable but I’d give the Patriots the edge at every
other position group. Matthew Stafford beating Tom Brady? Please.
Quick
Aside: Look, I’m totally cool with Colin Kaepernick’s tattoos and
Matthew Stafford wearing his Lions’ baseball cap backwards ultimately has
nothing to do with wins and losses but I saw some pregame clips from last week
as the trainers were working with Calvin Johnson before the game and there was
Stafford checking in on his #1 wide receiver with his lid on backwards and I
thought, “When is this guy going to grow up?” As I said, I know how a guy wears
a hat has nothing to do with wins and losses and you want a starting QB who’s
loose enough to step into the huddle and ask “Isn’t that John
Candy?” but there’s also a certain seriousness you want in a franchise QB
and while you shouldn’t judge a man by his hat (I’m looking at you Pharrell)
I still can’t help wondering if Stafford has the whatever it is it takes to
reach an elite, championship level of play. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to
go yell at some kids in my yard. Okay…
Chandler Jones should be back for this one but he probably
won’t be 100%. Still, I’m not even sure this will be close. It’s just hard for
me to think of the Lions as competent. Or clutch. The bigger this game is for Detroit the more I like New England. I’ll go 34-13 Patriots.
Patriots 8-3-0
Green
Bay – Historic Lambeau Field. Aaron Rodgers. The Packers have a
championship offense and defense won’t be able to stop the Patriots’ offense.
So, that’s right, yet another shootout and whoever gets the ball last wins.
Quick
Aside: It’s hard not to like Aaron Rodgers’ “discount double-check”
persona. I have no idea who he is in real life. He might be a total dick but I’d
guess not. Hard to imagine he’s that good an actor. He certainly pulls off the
bemused/perplexed affect and the Hans and Franz ad –
once you get past the fact that you weren’t really waiting to see the Hans and
Franz characters ever again – is kind of fun and even if you saw it coming from
a mile away has a great visual punch line. Okay…
I’ll give the nod to the Pack at home, 38-26.
Patriots 8-4-0
San
Diego – Long flight and a tough opponent. The East-to-West trip is
a little easier than the West-to-East trip but nobody likes being stuck in an
airplane for 4+ hours, especially (I would think) plus-sized men. The Chargers
are very good. They don’t have much of a running game but with Philip Rivers
playing at an MVP level they haven’t needed much of a running game. Their
defense is better against the pass than against the run so they match up pretty
well with the Patriots. Unless Shane Vereen stays healthy and Jonas Gray
develops into a reliable option between the tackles, this will be a tough get for
the Patriots. It may well be that San Diego – with Denver and Kansas City in
their division – will need this game a lot more than New England. There’s some
history between these teams, too. I can only hope Rivers wants this game too
much and forces a few throws that turn into interceptions. Am I talking myself
into this one? Yes. Yes I am. Patriots 38-37.
Patriots 9-4-0
Okay. I’m not an objective observer but is 4-2-0 over the
next six games really out of the question? Another 12-4-0 season for the
Patriots? Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. If Brady continues to play like he has
over the last three weeks, the Patriots will be in every game they play with a
chance to win in the 4th quarter. Nothing in this pigskin life is
certain, of course. I’m making some assumptions; the offensive line will come
together, the defense will figure out how to play without Jerod Mayo, Akeem
Ayers’ knees are good to go, Chandler Jones will come back from the hip injury
and pick up where he left off, Shane Vereen can carry the load at RB1, Gronk
will stay healthy, Bill Belichick hasn’t forgotten more than you know about
football – he hasn’t forgotten anything and as noted above, Brady will be
Brady.
If you’re a Patriots’ fan, you’re probably familiar with the
phrase. It’s their Super Bowl. Opponents
have been bringing their “A” game to Foxborough since 2002. I get it. Beating
the Patriots still means something, even if they haven’t won a Super Bowl in
ten years. Back in the day when I was an Army brat rooting for the pre-Elway
Broncos with my dad stationed at Fort Carson, if Denver went 2-12-0 and one of
those wins came against the Oakland Raiders, that’s all I would spend the
off-season talking about. That was pretty much all I had to talk about.
If the New York Jets finish 2-14-0, and that second win comes
tonight against New England, well, it probably won’t save Rex Ryan’s job, but
it will give him something to tell his grandchildren. It might even spark the
Jets to a 4-12-0 finish.
Just when things were looking up, the Patriots are forced to
shuffle their underperforming offensive line due to Bryan Stork’s concussion.
Not good when you’re facing one of the best defensive fronts in the NFL. Even
better, Tom Brady rolled his ankle in practice and will be even less mobile
than usual. If that’s possible.
A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake
our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour
of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but
it is not
this day.
The locals are bracing for a pigskin tsunami of humiliation
on a national stage this week. Monday Night Football. It’s the game that
everyone else in the NFL is watching. The game every football fan is watching.
No hiding place.
It’s a huge early season test for the Patriots. The Chiefs in
Kansas City in front of a crowd determined to wrest the title of loudest crowd
(on the Guinness Book of World Records scale) from the Seattle faithful of “12th
Man” fame. Part-man, part-machine ballers Tamba Hali, Dontari Poe and Justin
Houston will feast on the weak and cowardly New England offensive line, rending
their flesh and crushing their skulls before sucking the marrow from the bones
of Tom Brady’s broken body.
It never ceases to amaze me how poorly we take prosperity
here in Patriots Nation. Our football team responded to a lackluster
performance to open the season with a resounding victory in week 2 and all we
can do is kvetch about the passing game’s lack of its usual sophistication.
Maybe it’s just me but the 30-7 win over the Vikings last Sunday reminded me a
lot of those 2003-04 Patriots. Dominating defense, a big play on special teams,
a solid running game and an efficient Tom Brady running the show. Can New
England play better?
Yes.
I think that’s the good news. And I’m taking the W.
Please, please, please NFL. Stop making me hate you. Let me
go back to loving Sundays. Please. It doesn’t seem like it’s really all that
hard. Wrong
is wrong. Just because our parents or grandparents did things a certain way
doesn’t make it right. Follow the “good enough for my parents” argument to its
conclusion and you’ll justify slavery. You’ll be cool with polygamy. You’ll be
the ape with a lethal leg bone in “2001: A Space Odyssey.” My mother once
“spanked” me with a shoe. We weren’t living down South when that happened so I
don’t think you can write that off as a “cultural norm.” I don’t remember
what childhood crime I committed that caused my mother to levy this judgment on
me. I was three years old. I don’t remember all that much of my third year on
the planet. I didn’t learn to swear till much later in life (thanks Uncle Ross)
but maybe I was inadvertently blasphemous. Maybe I repeated something I heard
my cousin David say. I thought my cousin David was the coolest when I was a
kid. I would’ve repeated anything he said as gospel cool. Like the fact our Uncle Phil was a “douchebag” (whatever that was). Or maybe I spilled my juice.
Whatever it was I did, when I periodically take stock of who I am today and
what I’ve accomplished in my life, I have never thought, “Thank Christ Mom hit
me with that shoe. Phew! Who knows where I’d be today if she hadn’t?”
Then again, complexity theory says I could blame mom for everything that happened after she hit me with
that shoe.
It’s tempting.
It’s always tempting to blame someone else for our actions.
If you’re fans of the Christopher Nolan/Christian Bale Batman
movies, you know the answer to that question. And if you aren’t, we should
probably break up right here, right now, and avoid the inevitable screaming
fight over The
Dark Knight Rises. There’s no coming back from that. Just give me back my Tom
Brady jersey and there’s a chance we can still be friends. Seriously, I want
that that Tom Brady jersey back.
The narratives are already out there; they’re just waiting to
be written.
Each NFL season is like a 19th century Russian
novel; 32 major characters with twice as many plot lines almost all of which will end
tragically for everyone involved. Can the Seahawks repeat? Are Manning
and Brady on a collision course for the AFC Championship? Can a guy whose last
name is “Football” overcome the irony of his surname (and his lack of height) to lead a
long-suffering franchise to something more than social media relevance? Those are big and important questions. And
there’s more. So much more…
The Patriots released the shortest injury report in recent
memory on Wednesday. Just four players were listed and none of them was named
Dominique Easley, Aaron Dobson, Jerod Mayo or Vince Wilfork.
The Patriots added two young defensive tackles and subtracted
a quarterback and yet another linebacker from their 53-man roster. All of their
cuts have cleared waivers but they’ve added back just Ja’Gared Davis and Jonas
Gray, along with QB McLeod
Bethel-Thompson to the practice squad. There’s still no full time
long-snapper on the roster.
Random thoughts as the Patriots prepare to fill out their practice squad
and figure out whether or not to sign a long-snapper or cut their punter and
place-kicker.
The dust won’t settle for a few days. New England will get
down to the 53-man roster by 4:00pm but there will be more to come in the next
few days. The Patriots aren’t the only team making difficult decisions about
the end of the roster.
I don’t know why but it seems sometimes we forget the good
things we’ve got looking for something shiny and new. The Patriots preseason
game #3 – the “dress rehearsal” – was a reminder of that.
The week leading up to that first preseason
game was kind of exciting. We knew it wasn’t really real NFL football but it
was the closest thing to it since last February. And now, I can’t even wait
until the regular season starts.
It’s also something more. Like any good sci-fi
story set in the future – really, an alternate universe – it’s subversively and
incisively about the here and now.
[Yeah, spoilers after jump. Why haven’t you
seen this movie yet?]
The biggest takeaway from Jimmy Garoppolo’s
professional debut wasn’t the stat line.
His numbers were certainly impressive but in case you haven’t heard a million
times already, he was playing against scrubs. No, the most noteworthy aspect of
Garoppolo’s performance was that the moment didn’t look too big for him. Unlike
Ryan Mallett, Garoppolo looked like he was born for this.
It isn’t often that a four-game suspension is a
good thing but it just might be the case for Brian
Tyms. The young wide receiver will need to continue putting on the kind of
performance we saw Thursday night in Washington (5 catches, 119 yards and a
TD). That won’t be easy. Getting opportunities will be a challenge as the
starters get their reps in the upcoming games. As I understand this (from what
I’ve read about Brandon Browner’s four-game stint in the pigskin pokey), Tyms
would not count against the Patriots final 53 for the first four weeks of the
season. That’s four weeks to wait and see what happens with New England’s somewhat
fragile wide receiver corps; Julian Edelman, Danny Amendola and Aaron Dobson
all have injury histories. Edelman played all sixteen for the first time in his
career in 2013. Amendola is the pigskin spokesperson for the Affordable Care
Act. Dobson broke his foot part way through his rookie season and has yet to
put on pads in 2014. On top of that, the jury is still out on maddeningly
inconsistent Kenbrell Thompkins and Josh Boyce, who may have just a little too
much Joey Galloway in him.
Sometimes players just click. It will be
interesting to see if Tyms can continue to be Jimmy Garoppolo’s binky.
Tyms is a great story but there are a million
great stories in the NFL preseason. Maybe we just saw the greatest game of
Brian Tyms professional life last Thursday night. Maybe we saw something else.
I’ll be pulling for him. I love a redemption story.
Tom Brady makes the short to intermediate
passing game look deceptively easy. He’s pretty good on screen passes, too.
Ryan Mallett is not good with the short to intermediate passing game. If New
England hopes to move Ryan Mallett for even a fourth round pick, they need to
tear those pages out of the playbook for Mallett. When he throws a pass it
should travel at least twenty yards in the air. He’s actually pretty good with
the deep ball. Go deep. That's it. That's all.
What’s painfully clear at this point is that
Ryan Mallett is a square peg. He is the wrong quarterback for Julian Edelman,
the wrong quarterback for Danny Amendola and the wrong quarterback for Josh McDaniels’
offense.
I don’t know what Mike Mayock saw the other day but whatever
the opposite of “popping” is, Mallett is doing it right now before my very eyes.
Ryan Mallett isn’t justifying his backup role for the Patriots let alone laying
the groundwork for a starting gig with another team. I can’t help wondering. Is
Garoppolo really that bad? Maybe he’s a bad practice/good game kind of guy? No?
I wrote that during halftime of the Patriots
preseason game in Washington.
This is going to be a bad week to be Ryan
Mallett.
It’s the height of ego to think the universe is
crouching behind a bush, waiting, stifling a chuckle as I approach the banana
peels of fate they’ve left just for me. Still, I hate to tempt fate. I almost
don’t want to say anything. Maybe it isn’t all about me (could that be
possible?). Everything can change in a moment; life is like that. Not just
because of something I say, right?
Could New England’s training camp be going any
better?
I’m pulling for Stevan Ridley. In 2012 he was the
best Patriots running back since Corey Dillon. I was looking forward to 2013
and then 2013 actually happened. In the off-season, when LeGarrette Blount
signed with the Steelers, I was worried that Brandon Bolden would necessarily
play a larger role in 2014 during Ridley’s frequent visits to Bill Belichick’s
Home for Wayward Running Backs. A big fan of inertia, I had a hard time
believing Ridley’s ball security issues wouldn’t continue, even if 2014 was a contract
year. Shane Vereen, also in a contract year, couldn't replace Danny Woodhead spending half the season injured in 2013. Can he stay on the field in 2014? Tom Brady is terrific, but he’s even better
with a solid running game (okay, what quarterback isn’t). Heading into
training camp, it didn’t look like play action was going to help slow the pass
rush down. Not with Brady faking to a backfield of slow, fumbling, fragile
running backs.
One way to look at the Internet is to see it as an
endless series of binary polls. You have to pick a side. Maybe that’s just a
reflection of the current culture where everything is red or blue. You can’t be
a conservative Democrat or a liberal Republican any more. Sophistication is
cowardice. You are with us or you’re against us. As Bob Dylan once said, it may
be the devil or it may be the Lord but you’re gonna have to serve somebody.
I’m looking at you, Tony Dungy. Do you really know
what team you’re on?
The countdown to opening day has begun. Training
camps are starting this week. Soon I’ll be able to stop watching the Red Sox
trying to convince me that 2013 never happened or watch as Kevin Love signs
with someone other than the Celtics, like that was ever going to happen.
Instead, I can focus my workday coffee breaks musing on the pigskin fantasy of
Andre Johnson catching passes from Tom Terrific.
Should I be surprised when trolls throw their
feces at the people crossing the bridge? Do trolls do that? Throw their feces?
Seems like something a troll would do.
Ten Years. A literal lifetime on Planet Sports. In
another ten years will I be hearing that these guys couldn’t even make the
playoffs if they were playing today?
