Pigskin Thanks

'Tis the season for thankfulness and like most citizens of Patriots Nation, I've got a lot to be thankful for.

As for the rest of the NFL, well, thanks for the schadenfreude, I guess.

We've reached that point in the season where we have a pretty good idea of which teams will be in the playoffs and a very good idea of which teams will not. Yes, yes; still a lot of football to play. As those of us in New England (and Green Bay) await a legit Super Bowl preview this Sunday, fans in New York, Washington, Tennessee, Jacksonville, Oakland and the NFC South can only hope to drown their pigskin sorrows in gravy on Thanksgiving. As delicious as that may sound I recommend vodka for drowning sorrow. Not on the mashed potatoes and stuffing, of course. On the side with a twist of lime.

Thanksgiving is a time for quiet reflection punctuated by screaming remembrances of childhood betrayals and broken flatware. A time when we look back and take stock of our lives, at least until that vodka kicks in…

Remember when the New York Jets were going to take over the AFC East with Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez? Okay, now throw an icy cold glass of water in your face. It's 2014 and Sanchez is throwing his mandatory minimum two interceptions per game for Philadelphia and Ryan is inexplicably still HC of the NYJ following the curb-stomping 38-3 loss to the Buffalo Bills. While the Jets did not fire Ryan, they did return erstwhile QB of the Future, Geno Smith to the starting lineup. It's obvious from this past Monday’s game this Jets roster doesn't care much about saving Ryan’s job. It’s a foregone conclusion he’ll be fired at the end of the season. Jets management clearly doesn't think they have anyone on Ryan's staff they even care to audition for the head coaching gig or they would fire Rex now. As for deciding what they have in Geno Smith, don’t they know that already? (Okay, this Jets organization doesn't seem to be all that good at this whole football thing so maybe they don't.) If they don't know what they have in Smith, do they really think they can evaluate him while the dumpster fire is still blazing? (See previous parenthetical comment.)

I have to think this is the Jets version of tanking. Michael Vick gave them an outside shot at winning two or three (if we're being wildly optimistic) of their remaining five games. If the Jets are going to have a chance at their next QB of the Future in the 2015 draft, they can ill afford another win. Finishing 4-12-0 or 5-11-0 wasn't going to save anyone's job, anyway. Starting Smith pretty much guarantees the 2-14-0 finish that could net them a Top 5 pick. (Cue the booing of Jets fans when they take an offensive tackle.)  When the regular season ends, the Jets will be cleaning house from attic to basement and they should. Fire Ryan and his staff. Cut every player over the age of 30. Repaint the offices and hallways. Replace the carpeting and office furniture. Hire Jon Gruden or Bill Cowher or an up and comer coordinator like Adam Gase or Todd Bowles. Use your first three 2015 draft picks on quarterbacks. And make yourself a vodka martini.

Remember when pigskin pundits and bobbleheads were debating Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III for the #1 pick? Remember when Washington mortgaged its future and shipped like twenty draft picks to the St. Louis Rams for the rights to draft RG III? Remember when RG III was the rookie of the year and the read option was going to transform the NFL? Good times!

Quick Aside: If you were Daniel Snyder wouldn't you be funding efforts to build a time machine? Or maybe like me, you'd just sit naked on a throne of gold, sipping obscenely expensive cognac and lighting up Cuban cigars with $1,000 bills.

Fast forward to the present. Washington has benched RG III for Colt McCoy, a fifth year journeyman best known for getting knocked out by James Harrison (though I guess it's worth noting McCoy completed the pass on that play, resulting in a 1^st down). Rumors have it RG III is not well-liked in the locker room. There’s some speculation wide receivers DeSean Jackson and Pierre Garcon have been lobbying for McCoy to start. McCoy may well be a better fit for Gruden's West Coast offense (which begs the question as to why Washington hired a head coach who was such a poor fit with their franchise QB). Maybe RG III is the glib, smirky asshole he appears to be in post-game pressers. Maybe the rumors he couldn't read defenses coming out of college were true.

Just hours after RG III's benching was announced, trade scenarios were already being analyzed. RG III to the NYJ? Yes, please!

Remember the Patriots before Belichick and Brady? (Before Parcells and Bledsoe?) Yeah, we weren't so thankful back then. Steve Grogan is still one of my all-time favorite Patriots but that was more about grit and perseverance than success. Back then I was simply thankful when Grogan got back up off the turf. These last fourteen years are the good ol' days and they won't be over till Tom Brady starts sucking. I  don't take any of this for granted. Well, I try not to. It is an embarrassment of riches, after all. Three Super Bowl wins, five AFC championships, eleven AFC East championships. Since Bill Belichick arrived, the Patriots are 172-63-0 (73.2%); since 2007 (post-Spygate) they are 97-26-0 (78.9%). New England is 9-2-0 and the favorites to represent the AFC in Super Bowl XLIX.

Pass the gravy, please.

And the vodka.