Con Text

Should I be surprised when trolls throw their feces at the people crossing the bridge? Do trolls do that? Throw their feces? Seems like something a troll would do.

 

I guess I was surprised that I was surprised by the haters (make sure you read the comments) smearing the schadenfreude all over their faces after news of the 33 pages of text messages between alleged murdering scum Aaron Hernandez and morally ambiguous scapegoat for the questionable ethical framework of the society he lives and works in, Bill Belichick.

Bill Belichick once famously dismissed social media by saying he didn’t know nothing about MyFace. At the time, everyone seemed to miss the fact this joke can only be told by someone who does know a thing or two about the Interwebs. Instead, it was another thread in the Belichick narrative, the one where he’s a Howard Hughes-like figure; a man driven mad by his own genius, distant, paranoid, a dog snarling and ready to bite. That this bloodless, shadowy figure should have to resort to a smart phone to work his dark magic is laughable. Darth Hoodie can choke you out without ever touching you. He needs a Samsung Galaxy Note to control his minions?

Yeah, those 33 pages of text messages are suspicious all right.

The pigskin pundits and bobbleheads insinuate and question; you decide! The trolls in the commenter section suggest the text messages, well, the presence of the text messages indicates – I mean, proves Belichick either had knowledge of or maybe somehow actually aided and abetted Hernandez in his murderous lifestyle.

No explanation was given for the cops not having put Belichick in cuffs; starting 24x7 coverage of the story on all local media outlets and causing a Twitterlypse, #BelichickKillsAndDontForgetCheatedSpyGateAmIRightBradyIsADoucheCanoe.

It is what it is, I suppose.

If Belichick and Brady do win another Super Bowl, it still wouldn’t shut up all the “haven’t won a Super Bowl since SpyGate” haters. They’d extend the Goodell-Belichick conspiracy theories to encompass that fourth Lombardi Trophy, a win obviously staged to “prove” Belichick wasn’t a cheat. Or they’d simply find something else. Something obviously documented in those 33 pages of text messages.