"The Patriots scored a touchdown!"
-me, to my wife, 8:30 pm EST Thursday night because it was kind of amazing to see the Patriots just march down the field and score a touchdown and yes, that's an indictment of the 2023 New England Patriots and a sad commentary on my pigskin life
When your team does something that hasn't happened since the 1930s, you just have to hope it doesn't have anything to do with Al Capone.
I know I'm setting the bar low but hey, I'm talking about my New England Patriots here.
It's starting to not hurt as much watching the Patriots lose.
I'm not sure that's a good thing.
I reminded myself again this morning that the Patriots cannot lose this week.
They can't win, either, but at this point, I'll settle for not losing.
It does give me plenty of time to consider, these pigskin days…
Well, we're on to 2024, I guess.
Unfortunately, there's still more of 2023 left.
When will this ending finally end?
So, before the game, I was talking with my son and noted that Washington had just given up two of the better defensive ends at the trade deadline; a pretty clear signal the Commanders were on to 2024. "If the Patriots can't win at home against a team that's already given up," I said, "it's over."
Three and a half hours later, it was.
Everything must go. No reasonable offer refused.
P.S.
Football is cruel. Trust me. I was a Pats fan before Belichick and Brady. I've seen this movie before. It does not end well.
Yes, I'm still staying for the credits.
Am I feeling good about my pigskin heroes? They beat the Bills just last Sunday, and the Bills are, according to the gridiron cognoscenti, Super Bowl contenders. On the other hand, the Bills didn't look that good beating the Buccaneers last night. In Buffalo. (Hey! It was a short week!) Still, I should feel good about the Patriots heading down to Miami to play the Dolphins this Sunday.
Shouldn't I?
I don't know if I've ever looked forward less to a football game than I am for this upcoming Pats game against the Bills. As in, I don't want to, but I can't look away. You know, like when there's a train wreck on a dumpster fire in a tornado spewing hornets' nests and rattlesnakes.
No, wait.
I would watch that.
You ever have that feeling like you just jumped out of an airplane without a parachute? Like you're falling, plummeting, accelerating to terminal velocity and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it but watch?
The New England Patriots were hard to watch on Sunday. They were horrible and all of its synonyms. They may have set the bar for how pigskin awfulness will be measured in the future.
Could this Sunday's game be the biggest, singularly important, most consequential, Western Civilization hangs in the balance with all life as we know it ending game of the post-Brady era Patriots?
You know, until the week after that, of course.
I am, as they say, all in my feels today. So many pigskin feels.
Let me start with this:
The New England Patriots are broken, literally and figuratively.
Sometimes your pigskin heroes aren't so heroic. But that's okay. After all, we're only rooting for laundry.
Did the Patriots actually look better when they were losing to the Eagles and the Dolphins than they did beating the Jets?
Maybe.
One thing's for sure. Losing to the Dolphins 24-17 looks a whole lot better today. Like 46 points better.
Is there a solution for every pigskin problem?
Everyone seems to think so. (Still waiting for that Larry Fitzgerald trade to happen? Yeah.) But it's a little bit like Apollo 13. You can't change the situation. You can only work with what's in the box.
You can keep looking, but I don't think you're going to find Mike Evans in there.
They just feel like a team that will somehow find a way to 8-8-0 - coming all the way back from an 0-4-0 start - with a tiebreaker's chance at a wildcard spot, only to lose tragically in Game 17.
On a booth review.
