Pigskin Doomity Doom

I don't know if I've ever looked forward less to a football game than I am for this upcoming Pats game against the Bills. As in, I don't want to, but I can't look away. You know, like when there's a train wreck on a dumpster fire in a tornado spewing hornets' nests and rattlesnakes.

No, wait.

I would watch that.

From a safe distance, of course.

Okay, yes, I will watch my pigskin heroes this Sunday as they trip over their own feet, forget how to count to three, succumb to that Steelers fan fortune teller's spooky warning that touching a football will burn their hands down to the bone like acid, and fall on their swords or any other sharp objects handy this Sunday in Foxborough. (All, sadly, without the aid of a tornado.) We've had too many good times for me to walk out on them now.  

And yes, I will be rooting for the Patriots to win, even though with all the injuries that seems physically impossible, and even though a win might just be the worst thing that could happen to New England.

Does a 2-5-0 Patriots team really have a better chance at making the playoffs than a 1-6-0 Patriots team? Well, yes, mathematically, but the point is neither one of those teams is making the playoffs this year. Even at 2-5-0, assuming it will take 10 wins to qualify for the postseason, New England would need to go 8-2-0 to close out the regular season. 

Even so, should the Patriots pull off the upset and beat the Bills this Sunday, some of us (who is that bleary guy in the mirror, anyway?) will talk ourselves into it. (If they can beat the Bills, then anything is possible; am I right? Let's go!) More to the less delusional point, a New England win could mean losing the opportunity to jump start the rebuild they so desperately need. 

This ain't a "no demo reno" either. This is a tear it down to the studs moment for the franchise. Everything must go. Rhamondre Stevenson, Kendrick Bourne, Trent Brown, David Andrews, Matthew Judon; anyone over the age of 27 and Mac Jones - yes, Mac Jones. No reasonable offers refused.

Don't believe me?

The Patriots have zero playmakers on offense right now and early mock drafts for 2024 suggest New England should draft an offensive tackle. At #6. In the first round. 

At least the pigskin pundits and bobbleheads know the Pats have to tear it down to the studs.

But that's for then but this is now and, as they say, we still have a lot of football left to play. 

I wish that made me feel better.