Problematic Pigskins

Sometimes your pigskin heroes aren't so heroic. But that's okay. After all, we're only rooting for laundry.

We, as sports fans and specifically as fans of NFL football, will happily rationalize our support for domestic abusers, gun nuts, drunk drivers, and worse, if that dude can run a 4.3 forty-yard dash and is willing to go over the middle and make a catch in traffic. We're also pretty cool with what would only be described as assault and battery, if it were to occur off the field. Will they be able to walk without a cane or spell "cat" after they retire? 

We don't care.

There's fresh new laundry on the field!

Am I happy rooting for a player who - rightly or wrongly - has been dubbed a "dirty" player by the gridiron cognoscenti? 

No. 

Do I have rationalizations?

Have you been reading along?

Okay, here we go…

There's a reason that "nutmeg" became a verb. 

Men are obsessed with what's between their legs.

If you're a man and you've never been kicked in the nuts, congratulations; apparently there are no other men in your life.

This is just the kind of shit that men do. 

It happened to me in 7th grade when the classmate I was engaged with in lively debate on a topic I can no longer remember, ran out of cogent arguments and turned to the boot on his right foot to make a point. He then ran off before I could get back up off my knees to refute his point.

Observation: If Mac Jones hit Sauce Gardner in the nuts, he didn't hit him very hard. Seems it was more like unwanted touching. Yeah. In this context, it almost always is (no judging). And also definitely not cool.

As men, our lizard brain still thinks we're competing with other men for women (or other men - again, no judging) on the basis of the size of our foreheads. (You know what I'm saying, fellow cavemen.) In the heat of battle, the amygdala takes over, and the amygdala gives zero fucks for societal norms.

Do I think worse things happen on almost every play in the NFL? 

Yes.

Is that an excuse for what McCorkle allegedly did?

No.

It could be worse, though.

I could be a Browns fan.

Go Pats!