Pigskin Reverie

I reminded myself again this morning that the Patriots cannot lose this week.

They can't win, either, but at this point, I'll settle for not losing.

It does give me plenty of time to consider, these pigskin days…

Endings, it seems, occur gradually, and then all of a sudden. The end of the Belichick-Brady era in Foxborough didn't happen on March 17, 2020; it's been going on for the last three years, and it won't be over until some time over the off-season when Robert Kraft and Bill Belichick decide things just aren't working any more and they should just be friends. We know they probably hate each other's guts but they'll put on a brave face for the children. 

But don't fall in love with the next guy. I'm just saying that if the over/under is 3.5 years as HC, bet the under. (I'm not sure I'd bet the over even if the line was 1.5 years.) This Patriots roster needs a lot of work and I'm not hearing that Jesus is available or interested. (God only cares about baseball, anyway; Jesus really wants the Mets job.) Or Peter Venkman. Patriots Place 1 needs a serious paranormal cleansing at this point.

That's right.

It's time to cross the streams. Total protonic reversal. All pigskin life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

I can't help thinking about something Jerod Mayo said in response to a question about team speed and the lack thereof on the Patriots. This was a year or two ago and it was probably more or less specific to New England's linebacker corps, but, whatever. The gist of what Mayo said was that he'd rather have a player who was smart enough to read the play and even though he wasn't the fastest, make the tackle, rather than a guy who was fast but who wasn't smart and didn't read the play and made a bad first step…

Very Belichickian. 

And Mayo was standing up for his guys, which is admirable, except the subtext of his answer was actually, "Sure, my guys are slow, but…"

Here's the thing: The fast guy can actually make up for his mistake, but the slow guy has to play perfectly because he's simply too slow to make up for his mistake. It leaves the team with impossibly thin margins for error. If they play perfectly, they win 15-10 but it also means they're just one or two plays away from losing 10-6.

The Patriots can't renovate to innovate; they need to rebuild from the ground up, with a new blueprint.

Mac Jones is done in Foxborough. You can say it shouldn't be all about the quarterback but I think that means you don't watch football. It's always all about the quarterback. I'm sure McCorkle is a decent man who really doesn't deserve how this is going down, and yes, I do think the Patriots failed to put a WR1 on the field and give Mac Jones a real chance to succeed but I don't have a time machine and even if I could travel back to 2021 do I think Bill Belichick would listen to me? Of course not. He'd have me arrested. 

Anyway, after years of intensive therapy and antidepressants, Jones may be able to play QB in the NFL again, but not in New England. Not a week from now. Not ever again.

Not that I'm happy with Bailey Zappe under center. 

If I say Malik Cunningham's name three times, will he appear at QB?

Nor am I excited by the way too early mock draft that had the Pats take Michigan QB J.J. McCarthy. Hmm. Another athletically unimpressive Michigan QB? Are you sure he won't be available in the 6th round? Seriously, stop trying to make pigskin fetch happen!

Then there's the Kyler Murray rumor. Because when you can get a 5' 8" QB with a significant injury history, you absolutely have to make that move, am I right?

It is what it is, and yeah, it's bad.

Because - as important as it is - quarterback isn't the Patriots only need heading into 2024. They've got to win free agency and then have a draft that is historically good. An immediate starter at offensive tackle. A true wide receiver 1. And a wide receiver 2. An edge defender who demands double-teams. Yeah, that's a lot. And I'm not sure Bill Belichick or anyone currently on staff can come close to making that happen.

Or maybe I'm wrong about everything. 

Maybe we're about to witness the beginning of the Belichick-Zappe era. Maybe the Pats go on a seven-game win streak and sneak into the playoffs. Maybe they manage a 9-7 win in the Wild Card round with another HOF-worthy defensive game plan from Belichick carrying the day. Maybe…

Maybe I should stop trying to make pigskin fetch happen.