Infamy

"We're mad scientists, monsters. You've got to own it."

-      Tony Stark, "Avengers: Age of Ultron"

Why did this remind me of Bill Belichick, Tom Brady and the Patriots? I wonder…

 

The apocalyptic hysteria surrounding Deflategate is still being measured at F5 on the Fujita Scale and it seems like there will be no immediate end in sight. If, as it's been rumored, Tom Brady is facing a suspension of 6-8 games, he will certainly appeal the judgment. While a 6-8 game suspension seems out of proportion to the alleged infraction (given the numerous and recent precedents – see item 2 on Mike Reiss' Quick Hits post), it falls far short of the full year suspension well known voice of reason Keith Olbermann has called for. [Google it yourself; I'm not interested in generating page hits for that ass hat.] If Brady is suspended for any number of games, even if it's 1-2 games, I don't think he has any choice but to appeal. Accepting it would be tantamount to admitting that he cheated and I just don't see that happening. Through his agent, Brady has already made it clear he's not going to simply bite the pillow. I wouldn't be surprised if Brady filed a civil suit against Goodell and the NFL for defamation of character.

And by "I wouldn't be surprised" what I really mean is "I hope he does."

How Did We Get Here?

In a recent column, Mike Tanier said of Deflategate, "It's hard to overstate just how ridiculous Deflategate is as a story." Mike Freeman noted the Patriots are a victim of their own reputation as the "NFL's Best Cheaters." This all seems wildly out of proportion. As a Patriots fan, it's hard not to feel like there's a double standard in play. It's hard to connect the few dots available in the Wells Report to make a picture of an ice cream cone, let alone a smoking gun.

Patriots fans shouldn't be surprised the NFL has gone after Brady. That nothing further has come of Aaron Rodgers statements about over-inflating footballs or why nobody has questioned how Peyton Manning likes his game balls is telling but ultimately obvious. (Remember, it was Manning and Brady who were instrumental in changing league protocols to allow quarterbacks to work with footballs before games.) Manning is beloved across the NFL universe, as is Rodgers. Their aw shucks everyman TV commercials bemuse and enthrall fanboys regardless of their pigskin allegiances. Chicken parm does taste good. Hans and Franz remind us that Saturday Night Live – just like us – used to be cool. How can I possibly decide whether I should buy insurance from Nationwide or State Farm? It's a conundrum.

Brady, on the other hand, is loathed and hated by any self-identifying football fan west of the Connecticut River. He's too pretty, his wife is too pretty (and she's foreign – as are his product endorsements), his life is too charmed and worst of all, he wins football games too damned often. You want an explanation for why he's always beating your team and you don't want it to be that he's just that good. You want to believe he cheats. You don't care that the Colts footballs lost air pressure, too. Science, schmience. Brady cheated!

He probably paid Mo Lewis to kill Drew Bledsoe and it was mere luck that Bledsoe survived.

I shouldn't have said that.

I may have just started a new Brady-Hater cottage industry.

Freeman was right in his "best cheaters" piece. There is no easier target than the Patriots and no better way for Goodell and the NFL to recover their damaged reputation as stalwart guardians of the shield than to bring the hammer down on Tom Brady.

So why is it that every time I hear Goodell say the word "integrity" I'm reminded of "The Princess Bride" and Inigo Montoya. You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Despite suspicions the Patriots were underinflating their game balls, the league allowed the first half of the AFC Championship to be played without checking those footballs just before kickoff. If the NFL really cared about the integrity of the game, they never would have let that happen. This was never about the sanctity of the game.

Be Careful What You Wish For As You Will Surely Get It…

It may not be a Machiavellian plot designed by Roger Goodell and his toadies to get the Patriots; it may be simple-minded bone-headedness. But now, after all this time and money (money the other 31 owners apparently believe was well spent), a punishment perceived as a slap on the wrist won't do. Goodell has painted himself into a corner he has yet to show himself smart enough to get out of. Fining the Patriots, regardless of the amount ($275K? The Jets only had to pay $100K for tampering.), will hardly satisfy the blood lust of the pitchfork and torch bearing mob metaphorically marching on Foxborough. The Wells Report points it's footnoted finger at Brady. If the punishment doesn't fall and fall hard on him, it will beg the question as to why all that time and money was spent in the first place. Instead of being the Guardians of the Gridiron, willing to investigate even the smallest of infractions by the greatest of players – even an iconic player like Tom Brady – the League and Goodell will look like bumbling buffoons. As low as my opinion of Roger Goodell is, I just can't see him let that happen.

Unfortunately for the Commish and the League, Brady will fight this and I believe he will use every option available to him – including the courts – to secure his good name.

Another thought did cross my mind, though it strikes me Brady is far too competitive to actually do it.

He could retire. He's certainly doesn't have to worry about the money. He could rip the NFL a new one on his way out the door, refusing to accept the judgment of a corrupt and compromised League office and then file a civil suit for defamation of character, arguing his future earnings have been compromised by the tragically flawed Wells Report. His eyes will well up with tears and his voice will choke with emotion as he talks about how the only thing he ever cared about was taken from him. Imagine for a moment Goodell and Ted Wells on the witness stand. Perhaps Bill Simmons could be called as a character witness. Brady could go on to make public statements about his sons never playing a game designed to maim their bodies and scramble their brains. How do you like your TV ratings now, Roger?

That would make for great theater but I don't see it happening. Brady will want his shot at redemption the best way he knows how, on the football field. He'll fight the 6-8 game suspension and it will probably be reduced to 2-4 games. Regardless of that outcome, Brady will continue to maintain his innocence of any wrongdoing. When he returns to the field, he'll be wearing his angry eyes. I don't think the 2015 Patriots have the firepower of the 2007 roster but just as they did in the wake of Spygate, I expect New England to take a scorched earth approach to the rest of the NFL in the coming season.

For me, that will make for even better theater.