It's Just A Game, Isn't It?

It seems that most of Patriots Nation was willing to die on Deflategate Hill and they're wicked pissed Robert Kraft gave the order to stand down.

 

The Five Stages of Grief aren't a neatly packaged progression that ends with well-adjusted if not happily ever after. Life is messy. Getting to acceptance is a complex, non-linear, recursive process and when you do get there you're lucky if you can be at peace with yourself for even a few moments before life reminds you one more time that gravity is undefeated.

Denial

We've all been in denial, not so much about the facts in the Wells Report (logo-gauge + Ideal Gas Law = 12.5) but how this was all going to play out. Robert Kraft's demand for an apology in his press conference prior to the Super Bowl galvanized Patriots fans. We'd had to bite the pillow on Spygate (for seven years) but this time we weren't going to be the NFL's butt monkey. When the Wells Report came out Kraft stepped up again, giving voice to the anger and indignation of New England's pigskin faithful. After the cruel and unusual punishments were announced, Kraft launched the Wells Report In Context site and sounded like a man who was about to lawyer up. It was on. The good citizens of Patriots Nation didn't need any fiery speeches from King Henry V, William Wallace or Aragon at the Black Gate; our faces were painted red, white and blue and we were banging our swords on our shields.

Yesterday, in his "end it or extend it" press conference, Kraft looked visibly shaken. He sounded like a man reading something he didn't believe from off camera cue cards held by one of the men who had kidnapped him. All that was missing was a copy of today's newspaper held up under his chin. If I had to guess (and I'm about to), I have to believe Goodell and the other 31 owners made it clear that unless Kraft recanted on and agreed to accept the $1M in fines and the loss of draft picks, they would strip him of his ownership of the New England Patriots. I can't imagine anything else that would've unnerved a man in full like Robert Kraft. If Kraft was about to go nuclear, the other 31 would need to make sure he knew that they were willing to go nuclear, too.

It was always going to play out this way. Once the Wells investigation reached Day 100 we had to know the Patriots were going down hard. It's a lot more fun painting your face and banging your sword on your shield (it's awesome!) and it's hard when you have to wash your face and put the sword in the cabinet with the childproof lock but we knew this is how it would all play out. Robert Kraft as a current day Al Davis, Jr.? Did that ever make sense? Okay, it made sense when my face was painted red, white and blue. Now? Not so much.

Anger

There was anger when the story leaked right after the AFC Championship Game. There was anger when a few days became a few weeks and ultimately months and all the while there was the drip, drip, drip of leaked information that served to indict the Patriots in the court of public opinion. There was anger after the Tom Brady press conference. There was anger when New England had to (once again) play a Super Bowl under a cloud of controversy and anger that Robert Kraft had to make his demand for an apology we all knew was never coming. There was anger when the Wells Report dropped and anger when the sanctions were announced and there is anger today in the wake of Kraft's reluctant acceptance of a punishment he had called unfair and unjustified.

And there's no good place to put that anger.

The Wells Report is a bad joke; a rambling, inchoate 243 page set up without a punch line. Using it as the basis for the brutal and unprecedented judgment against the Patriots is a bigger joke, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, cooked in a sheep's stomach. Having to deal with haters and trolls who believe the Wells Report constitutes proof Tom Brady and the Patriots cheated their way to Super Bowl XLIX is the worst joke of all, because that joke is on me.

I don't know if I'll ever not be angry again.

Bargaining

There's still Brady's appeal. There's a chance.

There is a chance, isn't there?

Anyone?

It is hard to be optimistic given how things have been trending over the last two weeks. Goodell is making noises that the only way Brady's four-game suspension is reduced would be if new facts come to light. That's right, Goodell and the League are still vexed by Brady's refusal to turn over his personal phone.

The NFLPA wants Goodell to recuse himself and name an independent arbiter to hear Brady's appeal but I don't see that happening and I don't see Brady handing over his phone (and I don't see him in uniform until the Colts game). If he didn't turn it over for the investigation why would he hand it over for the appeal?

Besides, they found some messages from Brady on John Jastremski's phone; if there were other messages from Brady they'd be there, too, backed up to iCloud, wouldn't they? I mean, just how devious, how secretive, how compartmentalized are we to believe this conspiracy to deflate footballs, defraud the American public and make the little children cry was?

Doesn't the NSA have a record of all this network traffic? Can't Goodell make some deal to get those records? This is important stuff! It's a 2.4% difference in air pressure! 2.4%! Oh, the humanity! What will we tell the children?

Back to Anger for just a moment: I am I wrong to get angry when I hear Goodell call him "Tom" like they were besties as undergrads? I suppose "Mr. Brady" would only sound sneeringly, condescendingly worse. Okay, never mind…

Will Brady and the NFLPA still take the NFL to court if his suspension is reduced to just one game, or would Brady then cut his losses? How does #NoBradyNoBanner play out?

Depression

Do not tell me we're out of vodka.

Acceptance

Owning it is easier said than done. Spygate had its layers but Deflate gate is really complicated. What am I supposed to own, exactly? That Brady and his henchmen, Jim McNally and John Jastremski, conspired to underinflate game balls by 0.3 PSI to gain a competitive advantage that is scientifically insignificant and yet was the reason why the Patriots beat the Colts 45-7? I'm supposed to own the fact that 0.3 PSI has been the difference in Brady winning nearly 80% of his starts, six AFC Championships and four Super Bowls?

How do I square that with his performance in Super Bowl 50?

Wait! Why am I worried about that? Super Bowl 50 happened. It was no moon landing in a studio in a hanger at Area 51. It was real.

Maybe I'm a small, selfish, balding, not very nice person but if 2.4% cheating comes with four Lombardi Trophies I'm going to be honest. I'm starting to feel kind of okay about owning the whole package. I'm actually feeling more than okay; I'm feeling good. I'm not sure where I'd draw the line (I'll go with 12.1%) but if that's how much you think Tom Brady cheated, I can live with it. I can live with 2.4%. There's probably more small animal excrement and other non-nutritional ingredients in my hot dogs and I love hot dogs (I'll take two with sauerkraut, raw onion and yellow mustard). And let's not forget this will all go away after Tom Brady and the Patriots win their 5th Super Bowl and they're accused of cheating in a totally different way.

Think of it this way.

Have you had many conversations with your football-loving buddies recently about the  long-term ramifications of Bountygate? How it's changed the NFL? How it's affected the New Orleans Saints' brand? 

No? 

I didn't think so.

That was 2012.

The world was supposed to end then, but it didn't.