Wonderland

"…it is still amazing to me that Goodell has presided over a situation that has irreparably damaged the legacy and reputation of one of the greatest quarterbacks and ambassadors in the history of the game, relying on the anything-but-definitive Wells report in doing so, while failing to take any accountability from a league perspective for creating a swirling mess."

-Mike Reiss

I like "swirling mess." It conjures up the image of an overflowing toilet.

So, I've been wondering about how this all happened. I like to think I'm pretty good at connecting dots (Look! It's an ice cream cone!) but it's been hard in this case to think of a reasonable explanation to anything related to Deflategate.

When I think back to before the Super Bowl, I recall the theory that Deflategate was all a big public relations stunt. After all, tampering with footballs was hardly something the League had shown much concern for; during the 2014 regular season, when the Vikings and Panthers were caught using sideline heaters to warm their game balls, the League took the bold action of delivering a strongly worded memo to the Minnesota and Carolina franchises. They didn't have to miss supper and they weren't sent straight to their rooms to think about what they'd just done. So why was it such a big deal this time?

Was there some concern in the league offices that XLIX would be the lowest rated Super Bowl of the last 15 years? Was there fear of "Patriots Fatigue" – not those assholes again! – not to mention fear of another blowout win by the Seahawks, who had undressed the Broncos and favorite son Peyton Manning the year before? Deflategate could've been handled in a few days, per Troy Vincent original estimate, but after Bill Belichick's defensive "ask Tom" presser and Brady's disastrous "I don't think I'm a cheater" stand up, the League knew they had the kind of publicity money simply can't buy. The chance for America to see those cheating Patriots get their comeuppance at the hands of Pete Carroll's millennial-friendly Seahawks would sell tickets and drive viewership and ad money. Everyone west of the Connecticut River would be more than happy to see Seattle blow out New England and they'd stick around well into the 4th quarter for the sprinkles on the schadenfreude.

Well, the League got what they wanted. Sort of. Super Bowl XLIX was the most watched broadcast in the history of everything but unfortunately, those assholes won (again). So, we're all good, right. Everybody made some money, here. Let's not screw up a good thing. Fine the Patriots and let's all start talking about free agency and the draft. We're on to 2015!

Except that didn't happen.

In the run up to the Super Bowl, two things happened that may have left some people in the League office feeling a little butt hurt and a little less likely to settle out of court.

After Brady's press conference – and perhaps in response to those pigskin pundits and bobbleheads who accused him of taking Brady down to the nearest C&J bus station – Bill Belichick authored the now famous "Mona Lisa Vito" press conference with its "I'm not a scientist" trope echoing Marc Antony's "I come here not to praise Caesar" speech in its passive-aggressive middle finger for Roger Goodell (in the role of Brutus), Ted Wells and all the former Jets employees working for the League. Belichick explained the Ideal Gas Law in a way that even Marisa Tomei could understand. Math! Science! Maybe Belichick thought he was giving the League a way out of the corner they were busily painting themselves into but what I imagine the League saw through their Patriots-Hating Goggles was Belichick once again sneering at them in his inimitably dismissive and condescending style.

Then came Robert Kraft's "apologies will be owed" speech just before the Super Bowl. I have no idea how much Kraft knew of what the Wells had found; as we now know, the NFL was leaking nothing but misinformation throughout the investigation. After Belichick did the math and with Tommy's word that he did nothing wrong, Kraft may have felt he'd had enough. It made Patriots fans feel good. It probably did some good in New England's locker room. It's unlikely it played well with Goodell and the other 31 owners. Belichick dropping the mic was one thing; Kraft had broken omerta.  

Quick Aside: Don't misunderstand me, here. I'm not saying the Patriots should be blamed for standing up for what they believe is right. This isn't a "they have only themselves to blame" argument. It speaks instead to the spiteful vindictiveness of Goodell and the League. "Bill Belichick hurt my feelings!" isn't an excuse for levying unprecedented punishments for the alleged misconduct involved; nor is any amount of "Who does Robert Kraft think he is?" indignation.

One More Thing: If, as has been rumored, Bill Belichick never believed Brady, why would he go out of his way, at some personal risk, to provide the "Mona Lisa Vito" defense?

When the Wells Report was released, it was quickly assessed for what it was; a messy and inconclusive hatchet job with the barely supportable conclusion that Tom Brady was "generally aware" of something based on text messages from an October game against the Jets when Brady complained about overinflated footballs. It contains evidence (logo gauge + Ideal Gas Law = 12.5 PSI) that exonerated Brady and the Patriots of any wrongdoing and yet went out of its way to select only those facts that would convict the Super Bowl MVP and handed down a guilty verdict.

The pigskin universe quickly embraced the guilty verdict, in large part because if fit the widely held narrative of the Patriots as cheaters, that Bill Belichick has created a culture of cheating in New England (and he's a total dick to the media) and that Robert Kraft's franchise gets away with things because Roger Goodell is his blue paisley pocket square. And perhaps because fans of Peyton Manning and Joe Montana were pissed. Taking Brady down a notch seemed to make a whole lot of people feel a whole lot better about themselves for reasons (aside from petty jealousy) which remain elusive.

Robert Kraft made a statement that voiced his disappointment in the Wells Report's content and conclusions but offered an olive branch; for the greater good, the New England Patriots would accept the judgment of the NFL and move on. Clearly, there would be no apology from Roger Goodell but based on past precedent, Kraft probably assumed a fine in the neighborhood of $300,000 and maybe the loss of a draft pick.

Then came the sentencing phase. The judgment initially caused even the most ardent of those critical of New England to blush, if only for a moment. The $1,000,000 in fines, the loss of 1st and 4th round picks and the four game suspension of Tom Brady were variously described as an overreach, unprecedented and draconian. It was also described as about time and not enough for those suffering acute cases of Patriots Fatigue. The League justified the severity of the punishments on the basis of past misdeeds (Spygate – you may have heard of it) and a lack of complete cooperation from the Patriots.

Okay, the Patriots refused to make Jim McNally available for a follow up interview that Wells needed because his team screwed up their first interview. I've read McNally was made available four times and a fifth interview was refused. I've also read pieces that imply there was only a first and second request. Little has been written about the reasons (i.e., incompetence) for the subsequent Wells' request for McNally while there's been plenty of speculation about the Patriots motives (as in, clearly they've got something to hide) in refusing to make him available multiple times.

He's "The Deflator!" Guilty!

And Tom Brady has refused to hand over his personal phone or its contents. That Brady is not required to do so under the terms of the collective bargaining agreement and that communications from and to Brady had already been recovered from Jim McNally's and John Jastremski's phones didn't seem to matter. If he was innocent, why not turn over the phone? Aside from the precedent it would set, aside from the leaky boat that was the Wells investigation, indeed, why not? Why not sell out your union brothers for your own comfort? Why not share those intimate pictures of your wife with TMZ? It's not like there aren't plenty of pictures of Gisele on the Internet already, am I right?  

ICYMI: When Brett Favre refused to give up his personal phone during his "dick pic" scandal, he was simply fined. His phone in that case was clearly pertinent to the investigation.

Rascally, ol' gunslinger! I mean, come on! Have you seen Jenn Sterger! I've got my iPhone in my pants right now!

After the punishment was announced by Troy Vincent, Kraft reversed course, noting the unjustified severity of the sanctions, hinting at a possible lawsuit against the league and went so far as to launch the Wells Report in Context web site, deconstructing and for all intents and purposes destroying the League's contract hit man and his findings.

Then came the League meetings and Robert Kraft's reluctant acceptance of the fines and loss of draft picks. There was immediate speculation that Kraft had traded the money and draft picks for a favorable adjudication of Brady's appeal. The notion of a quid pro quo was just as quickly shot down. (Conspiracy theorists would note here that's exactly what you'd expect to be said.) There was some conjecture Goodell and the League had further evidence of wrongdoing by the Patriots and threatened to release that information if Kraft didn't relent. It seems odd on the face of it the NFL would withhold any damning information from the Wells Report; this theory seems like wishful thinking on the part of those who still believe the Patriots got off easy. As noted in a previous post, my belief, based on Kraft looking as shaky as a malaria patient who just ran out of quinine during his "end it or extend it" speech, is that he had been threatened by the other 31 owners with the loss of his franchise should he pursue an appeal, let alone litigation.

Quick Aside: It wasn't that long ago that Kraft left the bedside of his terminally ill wife to save the NFL from what would've been a financially painful shutdown. This is how his fellow owners thanked him. Not one owner criticized the scope and scale of the punishments levied against the New England Patriots.

So now it's down to Brady's appeal. Goodell, as expected, has refused the NFLPA's request he recuse himself and will decide if the punishment he approved was appropriate, fair and unbiased.

I've been disappointed, though not really surprised, at the rush to judgment by the gridiron cognoscenti west of the Connecticut. It's curious the data in the Wells Report that exculpates Brady and the Patriots has seemingly been dismissed. I get that this wasn't a court of law and the concept of reasonable doubt doesn't apply but the Wells Report's selective use of the information at hand has been met with a collective shrug by pigskin pundits and bobbleheads. They ridicule the Patriots explanation of "The Deflator" moniker as a reference to Jim McNally's efforts to lose weight (admittedly a groaner, even if true) while steadfastly ignoring the numbers from the "logo gauge," which according to referee Walt Anderson's best recollection, were the correct readings. It also seems odd to me Roger Goodell has gone largely unscathed throughout this process. I've been waiting for the pendulum of public opinion to swing but it's probably wishful thinking to see Sally Jenkins' takedown of Goodell and Deflategate as a tipping point.

Quick Aside: The media's role in this deserves some scrutiny, of course. Everyone from Bob Kravitz to Chris Mortensen and the rest know who leaked the information – often misinformation – during Deflategate only they don't describe them as leaks; they describe them as sources and they have a vested interest in maintaining and protecting those sources. To think of the media as honest brokers of information in this is naïve at best.

In any critical examination, we have to assume the work product was intentional. The melody of a song, the narrative and characters in a book, the ending of a movie are not a matter of happenstance. We may find the song unlistenable, the book unreadable and the movie unwatchable and if so, we know who to blame. There are, of course, unintended consequences despite our best intentions but given past precedents, it seems safe to say the NFL got what they wanted with the Wells Report. It's hard for me to believe that however many times the Patriots had made Jim McNally available and even if Tom Brady had provided a transcript of calls and text messages from his personal phone that the punishments would've differed (beyond, perhaps, the $500,000 in fines for failing to cooperate fully with the investigation). Based on the League's comfort with the conclusion that Brady was "generally aware" based on the "evidence" they did have, it's reasonable to assume the punishments could have only been worse, given Ted Wells ability to bend facts to his own conclusions, much like a clown making balloon animals.

Was this about punishing the Patriots for making a mockery of the NFL's parity sales pitch to the fans of Cleveland, Detroit, Houston and Jacksonville? Was this a hit job on Tom Brady to prove that nobody is bigger than the game? Is this yet another move in the ongoing power play between the NFL and the NFLPA? If Goodell can take out Tom Brady, what chance does some anonymous third-year offensive lineman have?

You don't want to give up your phone? Tom Brady did.

Given where we are now, it's hard to understand why the NFL didn't just send a memo to the Patriots advising them of suspicions regarding game ball PSI before the AFC Championship; that would've actually demonstrated a commitment to the integrity of the game. (I know, I know; it wasn't a sting but you don't warn a thief you're staking out a bank, do you? But, absolutely not a sting.) It's also hard to understand why they made this into a crusade to uphold the very sanctity of the game when it's ineluctably apparent – based on Brady's 2nd half performance in the AFC Championship and in Super Bowl XLIX – that none of this actually matters.

How has anything the League has done helped to advance the NFL from a business point of view? Do the fans west of the Connecticut River have a greater confidence the games will be fairer and squarer now? Those fans still think Belichick will find another loophole in the rule book and Brady will continue whining his way to undeserved roughing the quarterback calls, don't they? Fairness and hypocrisy only matter when you're the victim and it would be unreasonable to expect any sympathy for those of us who can build a tree fort out of their Lombardy Trophies but does anyone out there really think of Roger Goodell as the Captain America of the NFL?

I've long subscribed to the Good Doctor's observation that when things go badly, we like to think of ourselves as the victims of some kind of Machiavellian plot while in reality, it's more often the result of simpleminded bone-headedness. In this case, I'm reminded of my wife's response to the "evil or stupid?" question: Why can't it be both?

Really, it's the best explanation.