Waiting for the Inevitable

According to the pigskin pundits and bobbleheads, this is the week the Patriots will finally be exposed as the pigskin pretenders they are. Truth be told, they seem annoyed by the Patriots 3-0-0 record. Have they grown weary of waiting for Brady’s skills to diminish? For Belichick to retire? For the Patriots to finally yield to the inevitabilities of the NFL’s relentless commitment to parity? I’m not sure it takes a lot of line to plumb the depths of Tom Jackson’s or Sterling Sharpe’s minds but I really, does anyone know what those guys are thinking?

The First Quarto

For entertainment purposes only…

Small Epiphanies

We crave meaning. Our brains take in images through the optic nerve of and upside down world and turns them right-side up. We will take in the abjectly absurd and neatly rationalize it, creating a narrative with plot, action and character.

We want to know the ending.

Oh, you won’t tell?

Well, we’re happy to guess.

No Time for Tiddlywinks

Does everything regress to the mean?

Less Expectations

After Week 1, it was clear the San Francisco 49ers and Denver Broncos were destined to meet in the Super Bowl, where the Niners would once again frustrate Peyton Manning on the game’s greatest stage. That was before San Fran ran face first into the clenched fist that is the Seattle Seahawks defense in Week 2. Clearly, the Seahawks are the real deal for big game XLVIII. Manning will still fail to secure his unquestioned status as the greatest QB of all time while now it looks like Kap will watch this one from the couch while Russell Wilson chills with Bruno Mars at the after party.

Wes Welker's Boyfriends

If there was one player who could fix what ails the Patriots, it wouldn’t be Wes Welker. I’m not sure any single player would be enough but don’t worry, I’m almost done with the time machine; I’ll be right back with in their primes Jim Brown, Deacon Jones, John Hannah and Jerry Rice.

That should do it.

It's Only Week 2

It’s only week two. Every team is going to lose at least a couple of games (except under the rarest of circumstances). Big deal, right? Except when they’re the first two games of the season. Starting the year 0-2-0 is a statistical death sentence. Which is certainly not as bad as an actual death sentence.

Your team missing the playoffs is still an undeniable bummer.