Less Expectations

After Week 1, it was clear the San Francisco 49ers and Denver Broncos were destined to meet in the Super Bowl, where the Niners would once again frustrate Peyton Manning on the game’s greatest stage. That was before San Fran ran face first into the clenched fist that is the Seattle Seahawks defense in Week 2. Clearly, the Seahawks are the real deal for big game XLVIII. Manning will still fail to secure his unquestioned status as the greatest QB of all time while now it looks like Kap will watch this one from the couch while Russell Wilson chills with Bruno Mars at the after party.

Will it be Seahawks-Broncos in February somewhere in the (frozen) swamps of Jersey? Maybe. Maybe not. It appears the 49ers and Packers can run with the Seahawks. I’m sure the Saints and Falcons think they have a shot. Chicago? Probably not. As for the Broncos, it’s hard to find a team in the AFC that looks like they could keep it close enough long enough to wait out the inevitable game-changing turnover from Manning. The Texans? I just can’t talk myself into the Texans.

One team that isn’t on anyone’s Super Bowl bracket now that Week 2 is in the books?

The New England Patriots.

Indeed, the Pats have set the bar as low as you possibly can while winning two divisional games. Rick Reilly, the worst writer on the planet, called the Patriots the worst undefeated team in the NFL and he should know worst. Many pigskin pundits and bobbleheads are jumping on the Dolphins’ band wagon.

Will it be 9-7-0 for the Patriots? Worse?

Gronkowski’s return has been largely discounted. If the Patriots are lucky, they’ll have the band back together around week 12. (I’m giving Shane Vereen a week to knock the rust off.) Worst case, New England will need to be 5-5-0 when Denver comes to town.

Let’s say Denver comes to town undefeated.

That would be epic.

Kansas City 40, Philadelphia 41 – I just think the Eagles will be amped for this game. Vick seems destined for career bests running and passing the ball. DeSean Jackson looks good for a big game. If I played fantasy football I’d want all the skill players from both teams in this game on my fantasy roster.

Green Bay 35, Cincinnati 34 – This is a classic letdown game for the Bengals. Also, Aaron Rodgers is really good at throwing a football.

St. Louis 28, Dallas 27 – If I know the Cowboys, not only will they lose this game on a missed extra point but to add insult to injury, they will lose somebody like Jason Witten or Sean Lee for 2-4 weeks on a freak play where they get taken out by one of their own teammates or there’s nobody around them and they pull a hammy anyway.

San Diego 38, Tennessee 37 – Norv Turner leaves town, Philip Rivers is once again a credible NFL quarterback. I hear you. Cum hoc ergo propter hoc. I’m just saying.

Tampa Bay 13, New England 14 – Two touchdowns for the Patriots, one by the defense, one TD pass by Brady to continue the streak. Schiano benches Freeman after his third INT. Schiano benches Mike Glennon after his third INT. Midway through the 4^th quarter fights break out on the Tampa Bay sideline. Despite his best efforts, Dan Orlovsky runs out of time before he can throw a third INT of his own.

Arizona 30, New Orleans 31 – I may be giving that Saints defense more respect than I should. Also, Carson Palmer. He’s okay but he’s just not special. Am I right?

Detroit 27, Washington 26 – Ndamukong Suh doesn’t care what you think. He will return RG III’s skull after he’s done crapping in it. Matthew Stafford will throw early, often and deep to Megatron.

New York(g) 28, Carolina 27 – Just Cam Newton’s bad luck, Eli Manning snaps out of it this week; four TD passes and zero INT. While we’re here: How does Ron Rivera still have a job? The Panthers were 6-10-0 in 2011 and 7-9-0 in 2012. Progress, right? I suppose so if you were sitting on the couch with a beer in one hand and the other one shoved down your pants thinking, “Hot damn! The Panthers are going 8-8-0 in 2013!”

Houston 26, Baltimore 25 – I really thought the Ravens would light up the Browns last week. Coming off that embarrassing, nationally televised pantsing in Denver to open the season, I fully expected Baltimore to smash their next opponent like Hulk smash. That it was Cleveland made the outcome even more certain. And then, nothing. It’s like I don’t even know you any more, Joe Flacco!  

Atlanta 28, Miami 27 – Winning your first two games on the road isn’t easy in the NFL no matter who you play. The Dolphins beat the Browns, who’ve apparently already given up, and they beat the Colts, who are aggressively regressing to the mean in 2013. Still, I’d be pretty happy if I was a Dolphins’ fan. Until this junk punch loss to the Falcons.

Buffalo 21, New York(j) 20 – EJ Manuel’s big play so far is a last second, game-winning TD pass to Stevie Johnson. Geno Smith’s big play so far is getting hit late, out of bounds, drawing a personal foul flag that moved the ball into field goal range. Edge EJ Manuel.

Indianapolis 20, San Francisco 21 – Someone will have to pay for the Niners poor showing in Seattle and that someone will be whoever is playing defense for the Colts.

Jacksonville 3, Seattle 4 – The Seahawks’ defense will most certainly outscore the Jaguars offense in this one.

Chicago 30, Pittsburgh 29 – Jay Cutler is better than Andy Dalton.

Oakland 27, Denver 51 – And it won’t even feel that close.