Upright and Locked

I’ve got a bad feeling about this one.

This is just about the worst case scenario for the Patriots. Short week, the injury list is a who’s who of skill position players and the Jets are coming to town.

Shane Vereen will be out until Week 11, Gronk may be back Week 3 but not Thursday night and Danny Amendola looks like a long shot. The Jets, coming off an unexpected win over the Tampa Bay, have got to be thinking what everyone else who follows NFL football is thinking.

The Patriots are wounded. The Patriots are vulnerable. The Patriots are a fighter with cuts over both eyes. They’re Superman wearing kryptonite shoulder pads. They’re the Val Kilmer Batman (I’m giving Ben Affleck the benefit of the doubt for now). They’re Roger Ramjet down to his last Proton Energy Pill. They’re Thor without his hammer. They’re Madonna sitting at home watching Miley Cyrus on the MTV Video Awards.

Okay, I’m a little uncomfortable with that last analogy.

Where was I?

Okay, so it’s Week 1.57 and already the Patriots have their backs against the wall.

The defense has got to play up to its potential in this one. They’re going to need to spin on their heads like tops and shoot fireballs out their asses. Tom Brady will need to find a way to get the Patriots into the end zone but the Patriots will win this game because the defense conjures up memories of 2004. Someone will need to author a Willie McGinest sacking Peyton Manning moment; a Rodney Harrison picks off Ben Roethlisberger and takes it to the house moment; a Ty Law Pick-6 moment; a pick your favorite Tedy Bruschi highlight moment.

Julian Edelman is still in protective custody, right?

New York(j) 3, New England 17