Learning to Walk Again

It seems like forever since there’s been football, doesn’t it? 

 

Predicting the outcome of NFL games is a fool’s errand. Sounds so like me!

Baltimore 31, Denver 6 – Denver’s bullet train to the Super Bowl experiences some technical difficulties leaving the station. I admit I’m tempted to go the other way (Peyton Manning isn’t famous for choking during the regular season, after all). I just get the feeling that Elvis Dumervil and the Ravens defense will be totally jacked for this one.

New England 45, Buffalo 0 – I’m probably not the most objective of prognosticators when it comes to this game. I’m ignoring the fact that Belichick’s Patriots have traditionally started slowly, often scuffling in September. I’m ignoring the fact the Patriots offense will take the field without Wes Welker or Rob Gronkowski. I’m ignoring the likelihood the rookie wide receivers will experience some growing pains in their first real live NFL action. I’m ignoring the fact that nobody who has ever played in the New England secondary can cover Stevie Johnson (and Stevie Johnson should know). I’m also ignoring my brother-in-law Scott’s feelings on this one. (Sorry, bro.) I think the ESPN the Magazine’s prediction of a 9-7-0 record and a second place finish in the AFC East has already been posted in the Patriots’ locker room. Someone will have to pay for that. Bad timing for the Bills.

Cincinnati 13, Chicago 0 – So hard to believe in either one of these teams. It’s also hard not to read between the lines whenever Brandon Marshall is involved. I’d be keeping a camera on Marshall at all times during this game, including when he’s on the sidelines.

Miami 24, Cleveland 20 – Reverse jinx!

Atlanta 38, New Orleans 41 – Drew Brees > Matt Ryan. This game should keep The Red Zone busy.

Tampa Bay 27, New York(j) 9 – I may be overestimating the Jets’ offense here.

Tennessee 13, Pittsburgh 21 – Rumors of the Steelers’ demise seem to me to be too good to be true. Also, Jake Locker is still the starting QB for the Titans.

Minnesota 20, Detroit 31 – Matthew Stafford > Christian Ponder. Adrian Peterson isn’t enough to make up the difference.

Oakland -4, Indianapolis 35 – The Colts have Andrew Luck, the Raiders are trying to decide between Terrelle Pryor and Matt Flynn. Speaking of the Raiders, I’d like to see a change in scoring; Rather than give two points to the team on defense, I’d like to see a safety take two points away from the team that was on offense. We have the technology.

Seattle 24, Carolina 14 – At what point does new GM Dave Gettleman realize that 13-19 record has more to do with HC Ron Rivera than with QB Cam Newton?

Kansas City 17, Jacksonville 0 – Which way to the Chiefs band wagon? Oh, wait! I’m already on it!

Arizona 27, St. Louis 31 – Like I care.

Green Bay 20, San Francisco 38 – The Niners own the Packers.

New York(g) 20, Dallas 34 – Rrrrrrrromo!

Philadelphia 30, Washington 31 – Defense wins championships, not regular season games.

Houston 34, San Diego 13 – The Chargers just aren’t very good at all.