Tepid Takes

Are we sure there's no offseason?

Maybe Welker vs. Edelman or 2004 Pats vs. 2014 are fun mental exercises in the same way solving the quadratic equation in your head is fun. (It isn't.) Maybe mocking the trolls hasn't gotten old. (It has.) Let's face it. Brady was considered the GOAT after five rings. Now he has six. At this point, calling Tom Brady the GOAT is actually a tepid take. Who clicks a link like "Brady's the Best" (or some variation on that theme) other than Patriots fans? You know what kind of link will get clicks from fans from all fan bases?

Anything featuring the words "Brady" and "cliff."

You Know Me

You know who I am. I'm the New England Patriots. 

Y'all know me.

Optimistic

Was it just a few weeks ago that we all thought the Patriots Dynasty was ending, right before our very eyes? Trey Flowers and Trent Brown lost to free agency along with key contributors to their 6th Super Bowl win like Duane Allen and Cordarrelle Patterson. Gronk retired. Brian Flores and half the New England coaching staff took their talents to South Beach.

Now? There are plenty of reasons to feel good about the upcoming 2019 season.

Confused By Love

t's been a bit unnerving.

Discombobulating?

Disconcerting, certainly.

The New Guys

The draft is over, undrafted free agents have been signed; the roster building process isn't over - it's never over - but the story that is the 2019 New England Patriots has begun.

Somewhere on this roster is an undrafted free agent who will make the Final 53. A new folk hero is waiting to happen. A new starring role yet to be cast in this 21st sequel in the epic "The Goat of San Mateo" film series is waiting to happen.

So, who will win best actor in a supporting role? Who will be the breakout star? And who's story ends in tragedy?

When the Draft is a Cool Breeze

The NFL Draft is like gambling on a coin flip. You've got a 50% chance of being right and a 50% chance of having people make fun of you for the rest of human history, You bet $120mm dollars on a coin flip? And you lost?

Yeah. Just call heads every time.

I've seen it work.

Mockery

Mock drafts, as David Letterman used to say, are for entertainment purposes only (please, no wagering). Reading them for pigskin intelligence is basically a fool's errand.

Sounds like a job for me!