Mockery

Mock drafts, as David Letterman used to say, are for entertainment purposes only (please, no wagering). Reading them for pigskin intelligence is basically a fool's errand.

Sounds like a job for me!

It's difficult enough to divine the intentions of the average NFL general manager. When it comes to Bill Belichick, well, just stop. Still, I think Bill has dropped some knowledge on us in the post-combine/pre-draft weeks of this year's NFL calendar.

Plus-325 pound athletes are unicorns...

No, Bill Belichick did not say "unicorn" and we should already understand where he's coming from with his observation that planet-sized humans who can be described as "athletic" and "nimble" are few and far between. Two words: Vince. Wilfork.

Wide receivers keep getting bigger so you've got to be able to defend against them...

With Stephon Gilmore and J.C. Jackson already on the roster, he may have made those comments with a smirk on his face.

Given the way the game is played at the college level, it's hard to evaluate wide receivers and quarterbacks…

Okay, maybe Bill was saying, I suck at drafting wide receivers but it really isn't my fault! Or maybe he was saying, that's why I don't spend valuable 1st round picks on wide receivers and if you're expecting me to break that rule this time around, you might be wrong.

Or maybe he's saying re: quarterbacks that I could just as easily find in the 6th round. Because, well, you know...

Anyway, one of my favorite things to do during mock draft season is to look at who mock drafters draft right after the Patriots' pick. That means I pretty much have to wait until the 7-round mocks are out. And now they are!

Let me say I mean no disrespect to Ryan Wilson of CBS Sports (there's no way I could put together a 7-round mock draft) but I'm going to break down his Seven-round 2019 NFL Mock Draft from a "still on the board" perspective for the Patriots…

1.32 - WR A.J. Brown

I like this pick a lot. The offense needs juice and if Brown should fall to the Patriots I'd be okay with it but yes, I'm going to quibble because I'm a quibbler.

First things first, as observed almost immediately above, Bill Belichick does not use 1st round picks on wide receivers. And yes, in a weird way, this argues in favor of this pick because Belichick is famous for identifying and breaking tendencies. I do think the past is prologue when it comes to this pick, though.

Quick Aside: Before I get to "still on the board," though, I feel compelled to say that like most of the good citizens of Patriots Nation, I'm anticipating a trade up in the 1st round that somehow brings TE T.J. Hockenson to Foxborough. Rather than "delusionary," I like to characterize this a "magical thinking." Okay, yes, I'm saying that isn't going to happen. A trade up might still be in the cards depending on what Belichick thinks of, say, TE Noah Fant. If Belichick stays home...

Still On The Board: DT Dexter Lawrence

6' 4" and 342 pounds of pure pigskin athlete. See, above, re: 342 pound unicorns. I just have to believe that if Lawrence is on the board at #32 he'll become a New England Patriot. It just writes itself.

2.56 TE Jace Sternberger

Please let this happen! Maybe I'm just talking myself into this but there isn't another Gronk in this draft (sorry, T.J. Hockenson, you're not Gronk). Gronk is sui generis. So, instead of trying to find a Gronk replacement, how about getting a Travis Kelce-type receiving threat for Tom Brady? So, yeah, I'm very good with this pick but…

Still On The Board: DE Jaylon Ferguson, WR Deebo Samuel, WR Paris Campbell

I'm willing to admit that projecting Jace Sternberger as the Patriots' Travis Kelce is an absolutely best case scenario. And if Belichick and Nick Caserio still believe they can have some success with Jacob Hollister, Ryan Izzo, Stephen Anderson, and Austin Seferian-Jenkins at TE, they might look at Ferguson as the next Trey Flowers or risk a high value pick on Samuel or Campbell, both of whom pigskin pundits and bobbleheads have projected to the Patriots.

2.64 DE Zach Allen

Speaks to a need as all of us east of the Connecticut River are just a little obsessed with finding the next Trey Flowers. Allen looks like a good fit for what Belichick and the Patriots want in a end of the line defender but…

Still On The Board: WR Andy Isabella

OMG, Becky! Andy Isabella is still on the board!

I resisted the hype as long as I could. Isabella is "Shake" Tiller waiting to happen. I need to see Isabella in a Patriots uniform and I need Tom Brady to invite him out to his Montana ranch for his summer passing camp with Julian Edelman.

Quick Aside: I just imagined Belichick loading up on offensive weapons in this draft and somehow the youngsters click with Brady and by Week 8, with the Patriots 8-0-0, Sports Illustrated has a cover photo of Brady with Sternberger, Isabella, A.J. Brown (or some similar combination) and Sony Michel captioned "The GOAT and his Kids."

3.73 LB Blake Cashman

I don't get this one at all. I guess this pick is for all the Brandon King haters in Patriots Nation. Unless Belichick sees Cashman as the next Tedy Bruschi, I'd rather see any one of…

Still On The Board: DB Joejuan Williams, WR J.J. Arcega-Whiteside, DE Oshane Ximines, WR Terry McLaurin

Williams is one of those big defensive backs Belichick was talking about covering all those big receivers and Arcega-Whiteside is one of those big receivers (an option in the red zone to replace some of Gronk's production). Ximines could offset some of what New England lost when Trey Flowers took his talents to Motown and McLaurin's 4.35 40 speed would look good in a Patriots uni.

3.97 DL Khalen Saunders

He may not be the unicorn that Dexter Lawrence is but he's 6' 0" and 324 pounds and described as an athletic pocket-collapser. Yes, please!

But…

Still On The Board: WR Riley Ridley

Bill Belichick loves him some Georgia Bulldogs!

3.101 QB Ryan Finley

Probably my favorite Heir to the Throne of Tom Brady amongst the Day 2 quarterbacks. And yeah, that's setting the bar low. Still, I like his size and smarts.

Still On The Board: TE Kahale Warring

Admittedly a reach in this draft slot, I'm still less worried about the QB of the Future than I am the TE of the Future. If I'm reaching, I'm reaching for a tight end here.

4.134 DL Kingsley Keke

Ugh. I may hate this pick more than the Blake Cashman pick. Feels like a huge reach for a "tweener" who may not have a position in the pros.

Still On The Board: TE Isaac Nauta, OT Max Scharping, WR David Sills V

Bill Belichick loves him some Georgia Bulldogs. (Wait. Where have I heard that before?) Nauta is a bit of a reach here (I'd love him in the 7th round) but I'm apparently obsessed with tight ends. For some reason.

Scharping would also be a bit of a reach in this slot but he's probably the best OT left on the board in this mock and with Marcus Cannon likely to miss a game or two (like he does) and Isaiah Wynne coming of an Achilles injury, the Patriots should be looking for an offensive tackle at some point in this draft. Even if they're planning to sign free agent Donald Penn.

Sills is intriguing (and yes, a bit of a reach here, too). And there's probably a reason he's still on the board here.

6.205 DB Saivion Smith

Defensive back with decent size and the Nick Saban seal of approval. I don't hate this pick but I don't see any need at defensive back for the Patriots, especially when there are still tight ends available!

Still On The Board: TE Zach Gentry

Gigantic in-line TE with upside in the passing game. Being from Michigan might be a plus in terms of his relationship/chemistry with Brady. Hmm…

7.239 TE Tommy Sweeney

Well, he's a tight end, so there's that.

Still On The Board: QB Easton Stick

All right. I just love this guy's name. Let's face it. We're running out of "still on the board" options at this point.

7.243 WR Greg Dortch

Feels like that "solution looking for a problem" pick as in Dortch looks like the kind of player who would be a good fit in the Patriots' system. Most of his college numbers look good but… 5' 7"? I suppose that makes him easy to root for but unless New England has already given up on Braxton Berrios this feels like a wasted pick.

Still On The Board: Um…

Okay then. Greg Dortch. Whatever.

7.246 RB Mike Weber

It doesn't feel like the Patriots need another smaller running back, does it?

Still On The Board: Never mind...

Weber will probably go off for 100+ yards in the Pats fourth exhibition game and sign with the Dolphins when New England cuts him the next day.

7.252 QB Trace McSorley

Looks like more of a Brian Hoyer replacement than Heir to The Throne of Tom Brady. Hey, New England already has Danny Etling to soak up preseason minutes. Wilson's draft synopsis implies the Patriots may be looking at McSorley as a Julian Edelman replacement. Both projections (Brady, Edelman) seem, well, like crazy talk.

Seriously, if McSorley goes undrafted, would he be a priority UDFA for the Patriots?

Still On The Board: Nobody…

Okay, technically, two picks remain but yeah…

That's it!