Y'all know me.
I know. I broke your heart. I broke your heart like 28 times if you're from Buffalo. I broke your heart in front of millions of people. I hurt you so badly I actually felt badly about it. Yes, it was just a momentary pang of sympathy but it was sincere if brief. I get why you hate me. I get why you question my methods.
You thought I was cheating on you but I was always true to myself. If hard work and devotion to the rudiments of my craft and the fundamentals of the game I love is cheating then I don't want to be right. You've singled me out and done everything you can to hobble me. You're taken draft picks. You've suspended me. You've changed the rules.
You still can't beat me.
I'm on to Cincinnati.
What I do isn't easy but it is simple.
How do you get to the Super Bowl? The same way you get to Carnegie Hall: Practice, practice, practice. How many times have you seen me still working it in the 4th quarter while you've got your hands on your hips, sucking wind, pain and exhaustion squeezing any rational thought from your brain as you long for an ending to the inevitability of defeat you've already imagined becomes a finality.
You want to win a championship?
I want to win decades.
I can go 3-13-0 this year and still have the best record across any decade in NFL history.
Second best decade? Yeah, I think that's me, too. Maybe not. I don't feel like I need to check myself on that. Squabbling over second place is for losers. You want to say, hey, whatever, my team was the team of fill-in-the-blank decade? The Packers of the 60s. The Steelers of the 70s. The 49ers of the 80s. The Cowboys of the 90s.
Did I say I want to win decades?
I'm winning the century right now.
You can't make a movie about me; not one movie, anyway. A trilogy? Maybe. Maybe two trilogies.
The records I'm breaking now are records held by me.
My quarterback had the best three-year grade from Pro Football Focus over the 2015-2017 seasons. No worries about second place here; that's my QB again (2016-2018). My quarterback isn't Peyton Manning or Joe Montana or Aaron Rodgers and he's seriously old, now. It must be the system, am I right?
You're wondering why your team isn't playing the system that turned a skinny, unathletic, weak-armed 6th round draft pick into the winningest QB in NFL history?
Yeah.
No, I'm not laughing at you. Seriously. Not laughing.
I'm not just about scoring points, though. Defense wins championships, you know. I just pitched a near shutout in the Super Bowl against a team that led the league in scoring. 3 points. And that on a 54-yard field goal.
I also had a great game on special teams in that Super Bowl, flipping field position, downing punts inside the 5-yard line. Just me being me. They still call it football, you know.
In fact, in the playoffs last year, I beat three of the best offenses in the NFL. I probably would've beaten all of the best offenses in the NFL if given the chance but you only get three games when you have home field in the playoffs. I'm not really sure what happens when you don't have home field because I always do. I understand there's something called a "bye week" or "Wildcard Weekend" or some such? I just call it practice.
The NFL makes a list of the 10 Greatest Games of All Time and I'm on that list 3 times (and I'm 2-1 in those games). Check out any list of the Top 10 Super Bowls of All Time and I'm on that list 4 times (and I'm 3-1 in those games).
Biggest comeback in Super Bowl history?
Me.
Second biggest comeback?
Yeah, me again.
I actually wonder which of the six Super Bowls I've won is the best (spoiler alert: it was 51).
I've been doing what I do for a while now.
You didn't see me then?
Do you see me now?
After 304 regular season games, after 40 playoff games, are you feeling me?
Blocking. Pad level. Setting the edge. Tackling. Finding the matchup advantages like a boxer jabbing at a cut over the eye. Complementary football. I'm fundamentally sound in all three phases of the game. I don't beat myself. I run the hill and put that gas in the tank and when I need it, I've got it.
4th quarter.
Overtime. I own that.
No lead is safe when you play me.
No fear.
Laser focus.
You know who I am.
You know what I do.
I play for championships.
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