Calculations

 I was a child adding machine.

When I was 8-years old, my mother would take me with her to the store. As she would select an item - a can of peaches, a package of hamburger, a loaf of Wonder Bread - she would show me the price tag (I guess I was an early prototype for bar scanner technology as well) and I would keep a running tally in my head. It was the mid-60s; after the first Kennedy assassination but before the second. My father was still in the Army and my mom was always shopping on a tight budget, with that budget folded up in her wallet. Rice Chex. Add 32 cents. Every so often she would ask me for the total as we wound our way through the aisles. 

I was pretty good at it. I usually came in within a couple of dollars of the total at the register. 

Whatever happened to that brain?

Was it stolen (like in Spock's Brain) and replaced with aftermarket parts? I now routinely use the calculator on my phone to figure out the tip and the total when dining out. And I worked in food service once upon a time so I'm not trying to figure out 18%. (Seriously people, you can't come up with that additional 2% for people preparing your food? Take my advice. Do not go back to that restaurant again. The veal is not going to taste how you remembered it.) I'm going straight 20%. How hard is that? Times 2 and move the decimal point. 

Sure, it sounds easy when you put it like that. 

Okay, to be fair, I'm generally taking care of the bill for dinner after a couple of martinis, a handicap my 8-year old self never had to deal with. 

Hm. I just briefly considered the image of myself as an 8-year old American James Bond, vodka martini glass held carefully in both hands. How tall was Ursula Andress? I could've stood on a box like Bogie in "Casablanca."

I'm also reminded of the fact that when I do remember my dreams, the setting is usually the grocery store. I don't fly on rockets or dragons or just fly like Kal-El; I shop. For canned goods.

Is it some vain attempt to escape into a past when my only problems were simple addition?

Is that actually possible?

You know… Asking for a friend.