Endings

They say everything ends badly (or else it wouldn't end).

They also say all good things come to an end.

Ergo, all good things end badly.

Or is it that bad things never end?

More importantly, who are they and why do they keep saying these things?

Human beings - I like to think of myself as one - need explanations for why things happen; we seek closure, the restoration of order, a return to balance. (What else could explain my obsession with syndicated episodes of "Crossing Jordan?") Mostly we need someone to blame. Someone else, that is. The hardest words you can ever hear are "You have nobody to blame but yourself." 

That stings like a Zen Slap, but that sharp, brief pain also serves to remind you that it must've been someone else.

You! You told me to take that left hand turn in Albuquerque! Now look at where we are!

There's always somebody else to blame. Parents, siblings, spouses, bosses, co-workers, politicians; the rich and powerful dictating my wants and needs through targeted, electronic attacks on my prefrontal cortex.

So many people to blame for their crimes against me, for all the pain and loss and missed opportunities. 

I'm not paranoid, I'm just being realistic, here.

That's a long list of suspects, after all.

My self-esteem issues started when I was almost 3-years old and my father came home from being stationed overseas and didn't seem to know my name. He just kept calling me "Boy." I mean, yes, I've always identified as male but he couldn't call me by my own name?

Tell any doctor you have as many enemies as you know you have and they're going to be reaching for the prescription pad because you are definitely going to need something that isn't sold over the counter.

I'm just trying to make sense of it all, Doc… Gun violence, racial injustice, economic inequities, the Pandemic… First Tom Brady leaves the Patriots and now Aaron Rodgers is leaving the Packers?

Maybe America is ending (and ending badly, as the saying goes). 

I've got a list of people to blame.