Pigskin Spinning

Every so often, I forget that I don't know as much about football as Bill Belichick does.

I'm not the only one.

The local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads have not so passively-aggressively been questioning Belichick's - and Josh McDaniels' - game-planning and play-calling, given their admittedly conservative approach in close losses to Tampa Bay and Dallas. 

I suspect it was the game-planning and play-calling that put New England in a position to have a chance to win in the first place, but, the gridiron cognoscenti haven't mentioned that so, you know, wisdom of crowds and all that. Not like I haven't been wrong before.

Having said that, I think I get it. Or maybe I just feel it. It isn't just that the Patriots are 2-4-0, it's that they're boring. 

Having said that having said that, I don't expect Belichick to change his approach until the Patriots are eliminated from the playoffs and even then, he may not let McDaniels put the ball in McCorkle's hands 50 times a game. 

Sorry to give away the ending there, but, yeah. If I'm HC of the NEP, that's exactly what I'm doing. 

There's talent in the running back's room, sure, but they'll have to get their touches catching passes until (hoping it's not if but until) the offensive line can live up to the preseason hype. Put them in space, use the screen pass, split them out wide against linebackers when you get man coverage. Rhamondre Stevenson did a fair James White impression in the Dallas game. Admittedly the definition of a small data sample but I'm making Stevenson my go to passing back. 

If I'm running the ball at all (and I suppose I'll have to), I'm going Wildcat with Damien Harris.

My field goal kicker, Nick Folk Hero, has a bum knee so I'm going for it on 4th down if the only other option is a 45+ yard FGA.

I'm calling the flea-flicker four times a game. 

Have you ever noticed that the flea-flicker isn't used in every game and when it is used it's just that one time? Why is that? Wouldn't that second, third, and fourth flea-flicker surprise most defenses? Wouldn't that actually help the running game? Somewhere in that sequence you could even run a fake flea-flicker! With the running back spinning around like he's lateralling back to the QB but instead he keeps it and continues with the run? 

Or is it just that I like the sound of "flea-flicker?"

Flea-flicker. 

It is fun to say.

Not just flea-flickers. I'm calling every trick play in the book. 

Not just the Patriots playbook, either; every book. (Is there a trick play in "The Great Gatsby?") 

I'm not getting punts blocked. 

I'm dialing up the fake punt! 

And the fake field goal! 

Double-reverse-lateral-pass. 

Jet sweep with Jakobi Meyers having the option to pass or pitch to a trailing Damien Harris? 

Check.

If I'm HC of the NEP, the one thing I'm not going to be is boring.

And yes, I will probably be fired at the end of my 2-14-1 season. 

Deservedly so.

Go Pats!