It's Full of Stars

China launched and landed a rover on the moon. I mentioned it to a friend of mine and he said, “Here comes the new space race!” I don’t think so but if that was the case I think it would be an opportunity lost. Why not internationalize the space program? I suppose I see something like that as one or more bricks on the Yellow Brick Road. Heart, hope and happily ever after lies just up ahead. I don’t know. It seems kind of boring, doesn’t it? Everybody living in peace and happiness and matching teal tunics. We like to think of our lives in heroic terms rather than seek a contemplative life. We struggle, we compete, we overcome. Man vs. man, man vs. himself, man vs. nature. Man vs. those extra 10 pounds. 

 

So, given our competitive nature, you’d think a new space race should make perfect sense, except for the fact the 60s were a half a century ago. 

We aren’t living in the future we envisioned back then. There are institutionalized points of view about science (which hates Yahweh) or aliens (who are more likely to vote Democrat). I think the prevailing view of policymakers would be to let the Chinese pay for space exploration (looks like Joss Whedon will turn out to be right about that). China should, of course, cut funding to another program to offset the cost of their space program, preferably one that funds milk for small children. Children should compete for that milk.

But I can’t help thinking, what’s China looking for on the moon? I mean, we've sort of moved on to Mars and left the Moon as a sort of historical footnote to our greater journey to the stars, haven't we? The Moon is so been there done that. I suppose you need to take these things in baby steps so landing a rover on the lunar surface is a nice proof of technology for a run at the red planet. Still…

What’s China looking for on the moon? (Please help me spread this internet meme; #whysChinaontheMoon?) Have they found indecipherable alien machinery of unknown purpose, hidden away in the unmoving shadows of crater rims and rocky outcroppings? Will they use that alien machinery to control the weather on planet Earth (just one possible outcome, granted), and with it, the supply of fresh water by shifting rainfall patterns? The east and west coasts of the United States dry up and crumble into the sea while the farmlands of the Midwest are spared and bought up by Chinese interests until a plucky band of high school students band together to wage a guerilla war on the Chinese management team at the Calumet Agway.

                                         

That’s way more heroic than boldly going where no one has gone before but not meddling with the locals when you get there.

I’m just saying.

I suspect the Chinese are looking for some source of energy, like maybe the Transformers left the Allspark on the Moon. (And yes, the Allspark also qualifies as another possible future as a bizarre mirror reality in which Shia LaBeouf is a heroic figure and Megan Fox’s boyfriend. And also there are gigantic robots but that Megan Fox’s boyfriend is the really crazy part.) If not the Allspark, then maybe uranium? Are we running out of uranium? Or maybe that alien machinery is the energy source. Or maybe they just need the room for storage. Or maybe they just aren’t interested in waiting around until the world is in the middle of an ice age of epochal proportions with the planet near death before they start building a giant space ark.

Why not just fly off with the moon right now?