Tim the Enchanter

At times like this, it’s easy to get ahead of yourself. I’ve already pictured the Patriots crushing the Jets in the Meadowlands with Tim Tebow scoring three touchdowns as Rex Ryan can only stand helplessly by, the boos swelling up, filling the stadium and spilling out over the swamps of Jersey. I really should wait to see if Tebow makes the final 53 man roster before indulging in such fantasies.

To Know Me is to Ask, Did I Leave the Oven On?

The government is collecting data about all of us across any and all digital channels. If there’s a transaction log, Uncle Sam has a copy of it. Sounds sinister, fascist, paranoid and ominous. Let me assure you, most of the IT projects supporting these ominously sinister, fascist and paranoid petabytes of data are behind schedule and over budget. While we can safely rest assured the government will be firing all the contractors, replacing the current technology framework three years from now and have to start the project over from the ground up, we should be chilled by the fact this also means they’re unlikely to satisfy their stated purpose, which is to make us safe from terrorist attack.

Since the government knows my secrets, I guess everyone can know…

Net Present Value

This is shaping up as one of those drafts that could look really, really bad three years from now, depending on some admittedly unpredictable variables. It could also look pretty good.

Shiny Pennies

Squirrel!

April is the Cruelest Month After All

Where am I? Who am I? (I know. A bit early in the series’ timeline to be going to the amnesia well. Amnesia and traumatic blindness along with that episode set in the 30s is generally something you save for season 4 or 5 when you’re out of ideas and what you’d really like to do is end the main characters’ narratives in a hail of bullets or meteors or thousands of shards of broken glass, whichever makes the most sense in the context of the show’s basic premise. Still. I’m going there.) Sorry I haven’t written lately. I had amnesia. Sadly, I am now cured. I say sadly because when I had amnesia there was a chance I was a total badass. Statistically, you have to figure total badasses stand a much better chance of getting conked on the head than a middle manager working in the IT department of a major insurance company. Conk on the head being one of the leading causes of amnesia and all. So, not a badass as it turns out. Thanks for asking…

QB QB Dooo

The Dallas Cowboys filled a dump truck with cash and backed it up to Tony Romo’s front door. I know $108,000,000 may seem like a lot of money but don’t you think he would’ve gotten more if he’d hit free agency from the Arizona Cardinals or how about the Minnesota Vikings? Besides, when Aaron Rodgers signs his big extension Romo’s deal will look like more than fair market value.

Market Value

By the time you read this (something to do with temporal physics, the optic nerve and my chronic writer’s block), Ed Reed will be a Texan and Brian Urlacher will be a Bengal (I threw a dart). Wherever Urlacher winds up, like Reed, he will no longer be synonymous. The hardest thing about being the face of the franchise is when they take your face down off the billboard.