I know I should be rooting for the outcomes that best benefit the Patriots quest for another Super Bowl. If I knew with certainty what that might be I suppose I would cast my karmic energy into the pigskin plasma. Sometimes, though, I just can't help myself.
Root for the Steelers?
Come on, man.
The consensus in Patriots Nation is the best case scenario for the Patriots has the Steelers and Chiefs knocking the snot out of each other with whoever wins that game coming to Gillette with a noticeable limp. It's hard to argue with that. Still…
Rooting for the Steelers?
Not that I'm rooting for the Dolphins.
I would like to see Ndamukong Suh go all unsporty and get his ass kicked out of the Wild Card game. I'd then look forward to Miami HC Adam Gase's post-game presser to see what excuses he has for his big fat baby defensive lineman's on field behavior. Some variation on "don't hate the player, hate the game," perhaps? (If you've got some free time you don't know what to do with, google "Adam Gase defends Ndamukong Suh." Did I say some free time? I meant plenty of free time.) Anyway, unless Suh kills and eats Ben Roethlisberger, I don't see how the Steelers lose at home against the Dolphins. Not with the film from the Patriots' Week 17 offensive game plan that hung 35 points on the Dolphins defense. And New England did that without Antonio Brown. Ultimately, I'll have to go with the Steelers in this game for one simple reason...
I want to see Vince Wilfork play his last game in Gillette Stadium. Over all, it's hard for me to root against "Patriots South," and ex-Pat OC Billy O'Brien. And for reasons I will now struggle to articulate, I'm pulling for Brock Osweiler.
Yes, he's been terrible. Whatever happened to that guy who beat the Patriots with a 4th quarter comeback in 2015? Does Brock have an evil twin who stole his money, tied him up in his basement and is pretending to be an NFL quarterback? Brian Osweiler? It would explain a lot. Anyway, whenever the pigskin pundits and bobbleheads go after Osweiler I feel like I'm watching a puppy getting kicked. Granted, that puppy has been pissing on the living room rug for the last three months and it doesn't look like he'll ever be house-trained but still; he's just a puppy!
Okay, a $37m puppy should not be peeing on the rug.
With the Raiders starting rookie Connor Cook, who apparently is just barely better than Christian Hackenberg, a fellow rookie QB who wasn't good enough to take a single snap for the woeful New York Jets. (More fun with google: "Connor Cook is a douche." Trust me.) This is a game the Osweiler twin doesn't need to win. He just needs to not lose it.
I'm pulling for you Brian. Don't pee on the rug! Bring Big Vince back to Foxborough!
As for the NFC Wild Card bracket, count me as one of those "revenge is a dish best served cold" Pats fans who wants the Giants in SB51. This 2016 Patriots team is like a Hong Kong revenger movie with our hero coming back to settle all debts. Bill Belichick would use all the chatter about the NYG being New England's Super Bowl kryptonite to paper every square inch bulletin board in the Pats locker room.
Quick Aside: I think Tom Brady not getting the MVP, announced the night before the Super Bowl, could only help the Patriots in the big game. Hm. Clearly I should be rooting for the Falcons to make their way to Houston with presumptive MVP Matt Ryan. That's juice, baby.
So, yeah, Giants over Packers. This ain't hockey and Aaron Rodgers isn't a goalie and momentum is only a thing in physics. Eli Manning completes just two passes but both of them go to OBJ for scores and somebody you never heard of woofs at the Patriots after the game.
While we're here, how come Tom Brady gets beaten up for his smirky grin but everyone loves Aaron Rodgers' condescending mug?
Prop Bet: After the Packers loss, the gridiron cognoscenti will race each other to assure us it won't have any impact on Rodgers' legacy.
I'm intrigued by the possibility of the Bennett brothers lining up against each other in Houston for SB51 but rooting for the Seahawks over the Lions feels like rooting for a pit bull against a kitten. Besides, what I'd like to see a lot more than Michael vs. Marty on media day is the Pete Carroll junk-punch pose. Does Matt Stafford's mangled hand have one more 4th quarter "Hail Mary" comeback in it?
No. I gotta say no to that.
Too bad. If I was really rooting in the Patriots best interest, I'd be all in for an improbable run to the Super Bowl by the Detroit Lions. What the hell…
Go Lions!
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