Godspeed Gronk

What else can I say but... 

Thank you. 

Thank you for the joyful exuberance you brought to the game. Yo soy fiesta off the field and on. Gronk changed the game because Gronk is the game. He is football. Back in the 60s Gronk would've been the greatest offensive tackle to ever play the game. Fifty years from now they'll look back on Gronk as the very first 21st century wide receiver.

Thanks Gronk for all of the memories. All of the get-off-of-me-little-man moments when you shed a defensive back, all the crushing blocks, the throwing-him-outta-da-club moment, that left-handed WTF catch, outrunning defensive backs to the end zone, and all the touchdown spikes, every last one of them.

Thank you, Gronk.

Godspeed.

Ramble On

Robert Kraft's penis has apologized.

Can we move on?

Can we go back to talking about the lack of playmakers at wide receiver (and how that means Bill Belichick really hates Tom Brady)? The "Who's going to replace Trey Flowers?" question? Whether Isaiah Wynn is ready to play left tackle in the NFL? Why Belichick can't draft wide receivers? Tom Brady's downhill skiing skills? Jordy Nelson? Josh Rosen? Gronk's will he/won't he offseason? How many times Belichick will trade down or out of the 2019 NFL draft?

Let me just say this to Robert Kraft's penis.

Apology accepted.

Now Is The Winter Of Our Discontent

Nope. Not summer yet.

The Cautionary Tale That Is Antonio Brown

Antonio Brown has Office Spaced his way out of Pittsburgh and will play professional football for the Oakland Raiders in 2019.

There is, as the hipster commentators like to say, a lot to unpack here.

We're On To 2019

We're On To 2019

Have I read everything written and viewed every video recorded and listened to any podcast I could find covering Super Bowl LIII and the Patriots 6th Lombardi Trophy?

Yes. Yes I have.

Now what?

Time to start watching YouTube highlights of college players I've never heard of because pigskin pundits and bobbleheads are projecting them to picks by the New England Patriots in the 2019 draft.

Time to ask myself important, life-altering, existential crisis-level questions like, "Would Demaryius Thomas be an upgrade over Chris Hogan?"

The Copycat League That Can't Copy The Patriots

It's almost an annual rite for pigskin pundits and bobbleheads.

Why don't other NFL teams do what the Patriots do?

Despite being too old, too slow, with no playmakers and no defense, they just keep winning. Tom Brady is a system quarterback who dinks and dunks and checks down to his running backs. Blake Bortles can't do that? Okay, bad example. Anyway. With all the videotape and advanced analytics available to NFL teams, the modern nutritional programs, training techniques and sleep technologies, how is it no other NFL franchise has figured the Patriots out?

The Patriots lost 5 games this year and that was considered a down year for a franchise that wins at an outrageous 75% success rate since Bill Belichick became head coach.

How is it so rare the Patriots are punked by their competition?

In Defense of Super Bowl LIII

So, you didn't like Super Bowl LIII.

Are you sure you're actually a football fan?