A little shout out to Matt Schaub who got to ride
fate’s savage roller coaster Thursday night. Banished to the bench in favor of
Case Keenum thanks to a penchant for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory
with ill-timed interceptions was summoned by ex-HC Gary Kubiak when Keenum
struggled against the #31 defense of the Jacksonville “Good Seats Still
Available/Will Play in London for Food” Jaguars. The Texans trailed 17-7 at the
half and fell further behind in the third quarter at 24-10. Schaub had rallied
Houston to a 24-20 deficit and had the ball on the 22-yard line with 2:21 to
play. It was redemption time for Matt Schaub. When his agent is looking for
another team for him this off-season he could point to this game and say that
Matt Schaub still has it. And then we saw that Matt Schaub indeed still had it.
Instead of a game-winning TD pass, he threw an interception, effectively ending
the game. After the chip shot field goal made it 27-20, Schaub was sacked for
an 18-yard loss. Game over. He went from future starting QB for the Minnesota
Vikings to backing up Andrew Luck in Indianapolis and not taking a snap for the
next three years in two minutes.
Can you imagine the dark, foul ball of psychic
energy that flooded Matt Schaub’s brain when he threw that interception? I can
imagine him thinking for just a moment, “I’m in Hell. I’m doomed to throw ill-timed
interceptions for all eternity! What did I do to deserve this? This seems way
out of proportion to whatever I did. What? God is a Houston Texans’ fan? That’s
kind of random isn’t it? It is what it is? Oh. Even so, isn’t God supposed to
be love? Forgiveness? Oh. Except where football and specifically the Houston
Texans are involved. I see. Oops! Threw another INT. Maybe there’ll come a time
when this will all seem funny.”
Maybe it’s already funny.
