Saturday, December 8, 2012

Destiny Whispers


The day to day world is desperate enough without the holidays. But then the holidays come around. People you didn’t know existed are cutting you off for a parking space. Seriously, where did all these people come from? I never see them in April or August. Are they time travelers from the future? Tourists from Canada who think of New England as “south of the border?” Alien beings masquerading as Toyotas? The entire state of Colorado, all of whom are horribly, horribly lost? Why do they call them “holidays” anyway? You’re telling me this isn’t work?

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Groupthink is a Bitch When You're on a Team of Losers


It’s amazing watching a game turn. What is it about some teams? You just knew the Chargers would find a way to cough up a 10 point lead – and their still beating hearts – at home against the Ravens. The Chargers were a 4th and 29 away from winning and keeping their faint playoff hopes alive. Think about that. 4th and 29 and they couldn’t tackle Ray Rice until it was too late. Hilarious, really. Because we all saw it coming, didn’t we?

Friday, November 23, 2012

Seems Like Old Times


A scoring play on offense, a scoring play on defense and a scoring play on special teams and it all happened with less than a minute rolling off the game clock. How delightful.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Broken Hearts and Broken Bones


Why can’t we have nice things? Peter King – despite in house expert testimony to the contrary – thinks Rob Gronkowski’s broken arm is all about Bill Belichick’ negative balance in the karma bank. Actually, King tries to have it both ways, saying that he “cannot argue” with the notion that Gronk’s fractured forearm is some form of cosmic payback for Bill Belichick’s many sins and general dickishness at the beginning of a paragraph then ending that same paragraph by saying he really doesn’t have a problem with Gronk being on the field for that fateful PAT. To quote the most condescending blowhard in pigskin punditry, “Whatever.”

Happy freakin’ Thanksgiving, Patriots Nation!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Grounded


I’m trying my best not to enjoy it. The Patriots still have the Thanksgiving game with the Jets. Even if the NYJ drop a winnable game against the Rams this coming Sunday, I would still expect to see Gang Green’s best efforts at home against their hated divisional rivals. Still, it’s almost too easy. The 3-6-0 record, Mark Sanchez’s on-going struggles, a playoff guarantee followed by a lifeless defeat, followed by rumors of a teary Rex Ryan imploring his unlovable band of misfits to believe, followed by Bart Scott insisting the Jets are family even as some family members are trashing their receiving corps and calling out their second string QB. Seriously? It’s the guy who isn’t playing’s fault?

This is your defense of Mark Sanchez? That he isn’t as horrible as Tim Tebow?

Are you sure about that?