Friday, November 1, 2019

Darth Hoodie Finds Your Lack of Faith Disturbing

I was thinking… Should I be upset that so many pigskin pundits and bobbleheads are playing the passive-aggressive disrespect card by finishing any discourse on the Patriots' dominance on defense with "but they haven't really played anyone yet" followed by the list of less than replacement level quarterbacks they've faced in posting an 8-0-0 record?

And I realized… No. 

Is here another team that responds to the slightest of slights like the New England Patriots?


Remember two weeks ago? When the Patriots were going to the Meadowlands to face a suddenly respectable Jets team; a team that had welcomed back their QB of the Future, Sam Darnold, with a big win over the Dallas Cowboys the week before that. A team that had a little bit of a swagger, a team that was thinking, "this is who we thought we were" in a totally not ironic way? 

Yeah. The Patriots left New Jersey still not having played anyone.

Last week, they were coming off that Monday night game, playing the Browns, who were coming off their bye. Sure, the Browns had underperformed their off-season team of destiny-level hype but the Cleveland roster was chock-a-block with playmakers on both sides of the ball. The Patriots would be playing on short rest, down to just two starters on the offensive line, with their latest experiment at wide receiver, Mohamed Sanu, having spent just three days in the lab. With New England's offense still struggling to find an identity, this looked like a chance for the Browns to turn their season around...

Monday morning came and the Patriots still hadn't played anyone.

But this week...

This is the week the Pats would finally play someone. The Baltimore Ravens and unicorn QB Lamar Jackson - also coming off a bye week - would welcome the Patriots to M&T Bank Stadium and provide pigskin pundits and bobbleheads desperately needed perspective on this Patriots team. 

Unlike the Chiefs and the (Wait! What?) Browns, the Patriots would not be able to handle QB Jackson and the Ravens. Baltimore was coming off one of the most impressive wins of the 2019 season - beating the Seahawks in Seattle - with two weeks to prepare for New England.

"We'll see how good they are once we play them," somebody named Nick Boyle said earlier this week.

Thank you, Nick. I appreciate you. I see you. I hear you.

The Patriots do, too.

Okay. I know. They're professional football players. They don't - or shouldn't - need a dis from their opponents second-best tight end for motivation any more than a mixtape of pigskin pundits and bobbleheads questioning their accomplishments. 

That's true.

Also true?

Everything matters. 

So pigskin pundits and bobbleheads, please don't stop questioning the Patriots bona fides on defense. Don't stop reminding us how pedestrian (as in, they cannot run the ball) their offense has been. Remind us as often as possible the real strength in the NFL resides in the NFC. (Translation: Don't fret Patriots Haters; even if they do get to the Super Bowl - again - they will lose.) Don't forget to mention how old the Patriots roster is.

Most importantly, please let us know how every team they're about to play is the biggest test they'll face until the game after that.

Thank you.

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