The locals
have sounded like that friend of yours who got dumped by that girl he thought
was the one but you knew she was way out of his league and it was only a matter
of time. Yes, she was beautiful, smart, had good sense of humor but she was kind
of expensive, liked going out to expensive restaurants, seeing a show and you
know he maxed out two or three credit cards buying her jewelry and perfume and
those sunglasses she really liked. Then she dumped him. She was getting back together
with her ex. Now he won't shut up about her. He keeps saying stupid shit about
how if he'd proposed when he had the chance that they'd be happily ever after.
No.
That was
never going to happen. Throw out all those Maroon 5 CDs she made you buy. Get
drunk. Throw up. Look into debt consolidation options. I think that girl in accounts
receivable is interested. No, she isn't as pretty as that conniving bitch that
just kicked you in the nuts but she looks kind of cute and she hates Maroon 5
(I asked).
It's over.
Time to move on already.
So. This
is the year. The Bills, Dolphins and Jets have all gotten better. They've spent
millions of guaranteed money on running backs and defensive tackles and
cornerbacks. They've traded for wide receivers and journeyman quarterbacks.
This is the year that someone OTNE (Other Than New England) wins the AFC East.
Wait.
Don't they say that every year?
Okay,
you've got to be excited if you're fans of the Jets. That trade for Ryan
Fitzpatrick is just the jimmies on the Super Bowl sundae, am I right? If you're
a Bills' fan, there's Rex and Shady and that defense and Matt Cassel is way
better than Ryan Fitzpatrick, am I right? Then there's Miami with Ndamukong Suh
and um, Ndamukong Suh!
And what
have the Patriots got?
You mean,
besides Tom Brady and an offense that just came back from the largest 4th
quarter deficit in Super Bowl history for the win against the best defense in
the NFL? That Tom Brady?
It's way
too early to worry – let alone panic – but let me say a few things…
No, there
isn't a replacement for Darrelle Revis on the roster today. There's not a
replacement for Revis on 30 other rosters in the NFL. There's Revis and there's
Richard Sherman and that's the list.
But…
With Devin
McCourty in centerfield, I'm not that worried about Logan Ryan, Kyle Arrington,
Malcolm Butler and Alonzo Dennard playing zone. I know everyone hates the
"bend but don't break" defense. All I can say is, convince an NFL
owner to hire you and coach your own team. Yes, I expect Belichick will make
some moves to improve the defensive backfield and he'll continue to work on the
pass rush but – call me crazy – even without Revis I think the AFC East still
goes through Foxborough.
Yes, the
Patriots may need to rely on the offense a little more in 2015. The good news
is they should be up to the challenge. Danny Amendola looked like everything we
hoped he would be down the stretch last year, JoJo LaFell should be even better
in his second year with the team, Julian Edelman is Incredelman and Gronk is the
best tight end in the NFL. How many snaps does that leave for Tim Wright, Brian
Tyms or Aaron Dobson? The offensive line will be improved through the draft or
trade or maybe by Cameron Fleming moving inside. They've got plenty of talent
at running back; I'm intrigued by Tyler Gaffney as much as I'm looking forward
to LeGarrette Blount running for 150+ against the Colts again.
Remember…
It's not
about acquiring talent; it's about building a team.
And…
Nobody
ever won a Super Bowl in March.
Think of
it this way.
Jabaal Sheard
has averaged 47.5 tackles and 5.75 sacks over his four seasons in the NFL. The
Patriots are paying Sheard $11m, with $5.5m guaranteed, over two years. The
math is pretty simple here; Sheard will average $5.5m per season if he
completes his contract.
Ndamukong Suh
has averaged 47.8 tackles and 7.2 sacks over his five seasons in the NFL. The
Dolphins are paying Suh $114m, with $60m guaranteed, over six years. Suh will
average at least $10m a year in guaranteed money, $19m per season if he plays
out his contract.
Okay, you
know where I'm going and yes I know I'm oversimplifying things here at least a
little bit but bear with me. I'm going to count sacks twice, adding them to
tackles and make an assumption that both players will post their career
averages for the duration of their agreements…
Average Tackles +
Sacks
|
Average Annual Salary
|
Cost Per Tackle
|
|
Sheard
|
53.25
|
$5,500,000
|
$103,286.38
|
Suh
|
55.00
|
$19,000,000
|
$345,454.55
|
Simple
mathematics can't really quantify the true value of a player like Suh, of
course. Maybe he is worth 3.34 Jabaal Sheards. Maybe he's worth as much as an
elite quarterback. Maybe he won't get suspended for stomping on another prone
opponent in 2015 or get hurt and miss significant time.
One thing
is for certain and that's the fact the salary cap is a zero sum game. Every
dollar spent on one player is a dollar that can't be spent on another. At the
end of the day, this had a lot to do with the Patriots stopping far short of
matching the Jets' offer to Revis; it almost certainly would've meant losing
one or more of Chandler Jones, Dont'a Hightower and Jamie Collins. Maybe all
three get to free agency and New England loses all three.
Then I
would've gotten drunk. And thrown up. And started using those Maroon 5 CDs as
drink coasters.
Do you
suppose those things are dishwasher safe?
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