The Manzielian Candidate

If there’s an upside to being seen as a devious underhanded cold calculating imp of Satan it’s that over time, your competitors see you as even more devious and underhanded and cold and calculating an imp of Satan than you actually are. Your every move is viewed with suspicion, deconstructed and analyzed, scrutinized. Feared.

 

The news that Johnny Manziel and Teddy Bridgewater would be visiting the Patriots nearly achieved sentience and became self-aware yesterday. There was no end to theories from the pigskin cognoscenti as to what Bill Belichick had up his hoodie.

My personal favorite theory was that Belichick was defining the market for pick #29. Maybe the Texans take Jadeveon Clowney with the #1 pick. Everyone agrees his pro day was awesome! Maybe Manziel’s immaturity and under six footness scares off the Vikings. Maybe Bridgewater’s underwhelming pro day has Jacksonville thinking twice.

What if Manziel or Bridgewater is available when New England goes on the clock on Day 1? Do one of the teams that passed on them blink? Pony up 2^nd and a 3^rd and an extra 3^rd rounder next year. Bill Belichick loves him some 2^nd and 3^rd rounders.

We’ll see, of course.

Meanwhile, I’m wondering if Belichick actually does like Johnny Manziel (Russell Wilson is short and he just won a Super Bowl). Would Bill Belichick actually trade up, swapping 1^st and 2^nd round picks to move up to #17 (the Ravens appreciate draft picks, too) if Manziel is still on the board.

Would Bill Belichick make Johnny Football the heir to Tom Terrific’s crown?

That would freak me the fuck out. I’m sorry. There’s no other way to put it.

Anyway, who knows why Bill Belichick does what Bill Belichick does? As long as the Patriots continue making deep runs in the playoffs, should I care why Bill Belichick does what Bill Belichick does?

If all the pigskin pundits and bobbleheads are right and this is the deepest draft in a decade, then I hope Belichick does trade down. I hope he gets at least a 2^nd and a 4^th (fingers crossed for a 3^rd).

I hope they draft many large, athletic men who ran sub-7 second three cone drills.

I love this song...