The 2014 schedule has been released, which was followed
closely by pigskin pundits and bobbleheads projecting wins and losses. This
despite the fact the draft still awaits, not to mention the inevitable
season-ending training camp injury that will hit three or four teams. It’s
silly, of course but yeah, here comes my prediction for the Patriots.
Prognosticating how the Lions or Buccaneers will
finish the regular season is significantly more difficult than predicting the
Patriots’ record for two simple reasons; Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. The
Patriots have finished with an average regular season record of 12-4-0 in the
13 seasons Brady has been the starter. New England posted that exact record in
the previous two seasons. They have finished below that mark just four times
over that thirteen year span. If Vegas sets the line for that Pats at 11-5-0,
you should bet the over.
Enough prologue, let’s rub up the crystal ball.
Week 1 at Miami – The Patriots have
struggled in Miami over the years and I was thinking this might just be one of
the Pats four losses in 2014 but then I remembered what a hot mess the
Dolphins’ offensive line is. Maybe you’re thinking Dolphins QB Ryan Tannehill
and WR Mike Wallace will put up better numbers than their underwhelming 2013 after
a year together. If so I have just two words for you. Revis Island. Patriots RB
Stevan Ridley and Shane Vereen kick of their contract years with big numbers in
this one.
Patriots 38, Dolphins 13
Week 2 at Minnesota – Back to back roadies to
open the season? I thought Robert Kraft was the shadow commissioner of the NFL.
No? Anyway, the Vikings have Adrian Peterson and the Patriots’ rush defense has
been remarkable for all the wrong reasons in recent years. Will Big Vince be
100%? How will New England replace Brandon Spikes? Somehow, Belichick comes up
with a game plan to stymie Peterson (ten in the box?) and put the game in the hands
of the starter to be named later at QB for Minnesota. If Miami’s offensive line
is a hot mess, Minnesota’s quarterbacks are a zombie apocalypse.
Patriots 31, Vikings 10
Week 3 vs. Oakland – Despite the fact this is
the home opener, if you’re a season ticket holder, you’re probably giving this
game to your brother-in-law. The one you don’t like. Unless, of course, the
Raiders draft and start Johnny Manziel. That could be entertaining.
Patriots 53, Raiders 9
Week 4 at Kansas City – This seems
to be the chalk pick among pigskin cognoscenti for the Patriots first loss of
the season; a road game in a tough venue against a 2013 playoff team. I just
have a hard time buying Andy Reid and Alex Smith over Belichick and Brady. The
Kansas City defense is built to stop the passing offenses in Denver and San
Diego so I’m looking for Stevan Ridley to set a career high for rushing yards
and TDs in this one.
Patriots 24, Chiefs 20
Week 5 vs. Cincinnati – You’re not
giving these tickets to your brother-in-law. New England played arguably their
worst game of 2013 in the Queen City and still had a shot at winning the game
in the 4th quarter. This is a game Tom Brady will want just a little
bit more (if that’s even possible). Patriots’ fans get their first look at
Brandon Browner opposite Revis. Ridley and Vereen continue their campaigns for
a big contract in free agency.
Patriots 41, Bengals 16
Week 6 at Buffalo – The worst thing Brandon
Spikes could’ve done was predict the Bills would sweep the Patriots in 2014. Or
was the worst thing Spikes did was compare Bill Belichick to a slave master?
Belichick wants to win badly enough as it is without making it personal. The
Bills are improving and games in Buffalo have been hard fought for as long as
these two teams have been buckling their chinstraps but if you’re looking for
an edge in this one, it goes to the Patriots. Brady will put Spikes in coverage
every snap he’s on the field as Shane Vereen sets a single game record for
receiving yards by a running back.
Patriots 27, Bills 20
Week 7 vs. NY Jets – Playing the Jets is
always tough and playing the Jets on a short week is even tougher; having a
chance to beat their archrivals in prime time on a Thursday night amps this one
to eleven for the Jets. I expect Michael Vick will be starting at QB by Week 6
(if not from Week 1) but I just don’t see WR Eric Decker or RB Chris Johnson as
the pieces that put the Jets in the playoffs. Anybody else think Darrelle Revis
will be up for this one? If the over/under on interceptions by Revis in this
game is 1.5, I’d bet the over. I’d take a prop bet on a Pick 6, too. It will be
a physical game, as always, and the running game is likely to be ineffective so
Brady will have to win this one. I’m okay with that.
Patriots 24, Jets 14
Week 8 at Chicago – New England will have
some extra rest and prep time coming of the Thursday night Jets game and with
Belichick and Brady the Patriots haven’t been susceptible to a letdown after a
big, emotional game. With their one game at a time approach they typically
don’t look past whoever this week’s opponent is but it would be understandable
in this case with the Broncos next up. I think Browner and Revis nullify Alshon
Jeffery and Brandon Marshall and Jay Cutler does something crazy at some point.
Win ugly? Win ugly.
Patriots 23, Bears 17
Week 9 vs. Denver – Manning! Brady! Brady!
Manning! Professional athletes will maintain that they give everything they
have in each and every game; they respect their opponents, they respect the
game. But they’re human beings, too, and this game means more to the players
and coaches of these two teams than any other non-divisional game on their
schedule. They will never admit it but these games mean more to Brady and Manning,
who are two of the most competitive players in any sport. They want to win whether
it’s a Super Bowl or tiddlywinks so when it’s a chance to beat the very best, it’s
special. No, they can’t go 1-on-1 like Bird and Magic. It may be closer to the
truth to call this Manning vs. Belichick but make no mistake; Peyton Manning
knows he’s 5-10-0 in games played against Tom Brady and Tom Brady knows he’s
10-5-0 in games played against Peyton Manning.
Patriots 40, Broncos 37
Week 10 Bye – After that Broncos game I’ll be glad to have a
week off.
Week 11 at Indianapolis – Belichick
and the Patriots will have two weeks to get ready for the Colts but I fear the
human element here as much as I embraced it for the Broncos game. This game
will simply mean more to Indy than it will to New England. After nine straight
wins, the Patriots are due for a game where they step on their collective
dicks. The Patriots will avenge this loss in the playoffs.
Patriots 23, Colts 24
Week 12 vs. Detroit – Unfortunately for the
Lions, the Patriots will be wearing their angry eyes for this one. Is Gronk
back by this point? Is so, it may not be this close.
Patriots 49, Lions 20
Week 13 at Green Bay – I expect
there will be a whole lot of Aaron Rodgers vs. Tom Brady chatter before they
tee this one up. Rodgers and Brady won’t bite but that won’t stop the pigskin
pundits and bobbleheads from trying to turn this game into a referendum on who
should be #1 on ESPN’s next Top 100 NFL Players list. We’ll also get a fair
amount of the possible Super Bowl preview talk but if defense wins
championships, neither one of these teams is likely to find its way to
Glendale. If you like the forward pass, you’ll love this game. Whoever gets the
ball last wins.
Patriots 41, Packers 38
Week 14 at San Diego – Again with
the back to back roadies! I’m guessing the Chargers will need this game a
little more than the Patriots as they’ll be playing for their playoff lives,
recovering from their annual slow start (let’s say they’re 2-4-0 after their
first six games and 7-6-0 when they tee it up for this one) and chasing Denver
and Kansas City in the AFC West.
Patriots 34, Chargers 35
Week 15 vs. Miami – For the second time the
Patriots return home from a tough loss and for the second time they take it out
on whoever’s in front of them. New England in December is where the Miami
Dolphins’ playoff hopes go to die. Or be buried in this case.
Patriots 37, Dolphins 17
Week 16 at NY Jets – Do I think the AFC East
will hang in the balance when the Jets come to Gillette? No. Do I think the
Jets will need this game to keep their playoff hopes alive? No; I think their
playoff hopes will be dead by Week 14. Will little brother still want to bloody
big brother’s nose? Sure. Will that be enough? No.
Patriots 31, Jets 20
Week 17 vs. Buffalo – With the AFC East locked
up, with their playoff position set, Tom Brady starts and puts the exclamation
point on an MVP season. He spends the 4th quarter on the sideline,
yukking it up with Jules and Gronk.
Patriots 37, Bills 16
That adds up to a 14-2-0 regular season record and
home field throughout the AFC playoffs. The Patriots beat the Colts in Gillette
for the AFC Championship and go on to beat Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl XLIX by
a score of 35 to 17 (because I always predict the Patriots will beat the
Cowboys in the Super Bowl and one of these times I’m going to be right).
Am I an unapologetic homer? Well, yes. It was
everything I could do not to predict a 16-0-0 regular season finish for my
boys. You seriously didn’t expect anything different, did you?
Here’s my new favorite song…
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