Mockery

Mock drafts, as David Letterman used to say, are for entertainment purposes only (please, no wagering). Reading them for pigskin intelligence is basically a fool's errand.

Sounds like a job for me!

I'm Amazed

Just thinking about it, I'm amazed. It veers into the mythic, like some medieval song cycle about gods and men, about mountains scaled and oceans crossed, about battles fought against the dark hordes of evil.

Okay.

Not really a good vs. evil thing.

Still, the whole thing - the Patriots Dynasty - has been pretty amazing. No, I'm not saying it's over. I'm just wondering how the team that keeps topping itself can possibly top itself one more time.

Let's begin at the beginning, which is generally a very good place to start…

Godspeed Gronk

What else can I say but... 

Thank you. 

Thank you for the joyful exuberance you brought to the game. Yo soy fiesta off the field and on. Gronk changed the game because Gronk is the game. He is football. Back in the 60s Gronk would've been the greatest offensive tackle to ever play the game. Fifty years from now they'll look back on Gronk as the very first 21st century wide receiver.

Thanks Gronk for all of the memories. All of the get-off-of-me-little-man moments when you shed a defensive back, all the crushing blocks, the throwing-him-outta-da-club moment, that left-handed WTF catch, outrunning defensive backs to the end zone, and all the touchdown spikes, every last one of them.

Thank you, Gronk.

Godspeed.

Ramble On

Robert Kraft's penis has apologized.

Can we move on?

Can we go back to talking about the lack of playmakers at wide receiver (and how that means Bill Belichick really hates Tom Brady)? The "Who's going to replace Trey Flowers?" question? Whether Isaiah Wynn is ready to play left tackle in the NFL? Why Belichick can't draft wide receivers? Tom Brady's downhill skiing skills? Jordy Nelson? Josh Rosen? Gronk's will he/won't he offseason? How many times Belichick will trade down or out of the 2019 NFL draft?

Let me just say this to Robert Kraft's penis.

Apology accepted.

Now Is The Winter Of Our Discontent

Nope. Not summer yet.

The Cautionary Tale That Is Antonio Brown

Antonio Brown has Office Spaced his way out of Pittsburgh and will play professional football for the Oakland Raiders in 2019.

There is, as the hipster commentators like to say, a lot to unpack here.

We're On To 2019

We're On To 2019

Have I read everything written and viewed every video recorded and listened to any podcast I could find covering Super Bowl LIII and the Patriots 6th Lombardi Trophy?

Yes. Yes I have.

Now what?

Time to start watching YouTube highlights of college players I've never heard of because pigskin pundits and bobbleheads are projecting them to picks by the New England Patriots in the 2019 draft.

Time to ask myself important, life-altering, existential crisis-level questions like, "Would Demaryius Thomas be an upgrade over Chris Hogan?"