Sunday, January 13, 2013

Karma Has a Really Weird Sense of Humor


The agitprop of Saturday’s Ravens-Broncos game should provide a final reminder to the Patriots that nothing is written. Maybe they really meant everything they said about the Texans and the playoffs but now they have the evidence that it’s real. Really real.

You saw what happened to Denver!

Sunday morning, pigskin pundits and bobbleheads will certainly be deconstructing what Colin Kaepernick’s record-setting performance in dispatching Aaron Rodgers and the Packers means to the future of the quarterback position (we’re all just waiting for his knee injury, aren’t we?) and they will also be dissecting the choke job by Peyton Manning and the #1 seeded Denver Broncos.

And that will be fun – but not too much fun. After all, the Patriots still have to play the Texans and you saw what happened to the Broncos, didn’t you?
 
Never spike the ball early.
 

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Life is a Series of Bad Decisions


It’s hard not to judge. Our brains rationalize input from the five senses, giving us the ability to swerve and miss that tree. We’re built to judge. Is this delicious? Will that fit in my pocket? That was a tree, wasn’t it? Is Mike Shanahan an idiot? Mike Shanahan is an idiot.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Every New Beginning


Sometimes things just work out. Sometimes they don’t, especially if Tony Romo is involved.

The Giants won but it didn’t matter because the Bears won but that didn’t matter either because the Vikings won. I think. I lost track of the various tiebreakers/win-and-they’re-in scenarios as the 1:00pm games were ending. Could have been the vodka, I suppose. Anyway, the brackets are set and if everything goes to form we’ll get Tom Brady vs. Peyton Manning in the AFC Championship game. And yes, that sound you just heard was Jim Nantz’s and Phil Simms’s pants exploding.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Thinking Out Loud


The NFL season is, in and of itself, a small data sample. Just sixteen games over seventeen weeks. A key injury in week three can destroy a team’s chances to make the playoffs; a blown call in the 4th quarter, a pass slips through a receiver’s hands into the waiting arms of a defensive back who takes it in for the winning score, a potential game-winning field goal hits the upright and falls harmlessly to the ground. All of a sudden, 10-6-0 is 7-9-0 and your fans are reenacting Act III of Oedipus Rex. That’s right; a tie is like kissing your sister and finishing out of the playoffs is like having sex with your mother.



Thursday, December 20, 2012

Breakfast with Glenn and Steve - Late for the End of the World


The booths in The Good Egg are lacquered hard wood without cushions or covers.  The tabletops are Formica edged with brushed metal.  Plastic salt and pepper shakers flank a bowl of creamers and a small, rectangular plastic container with disheveled white, yellow, pink and blue packets of sweeteners sits on every table.  The walls are dotted with watercolor seascapes featuring lighthouses or ships under sail.  Three friends occupy a booth near the back.  They consider their menus as their fresh coffee cools in large ceramic mugs.

The Next Game Matters More than the Last Until it Doesn't


It’s been said there’s no such thing as a meaningless game to those playing the game.

Well, until midway through the second quarter and you’re down by 21 points and you remember you’re 4-10 and so far away from the playoffs you can’t even see its tail lights.