Good vs. Evil

There’s always a little bit of good guys and bad guys to the games.  Divisional games ratchet that up a notch or two.  Witness Tom Brady’s “I hate the Jets” comment.  Some Pigskin Pundits and Bobbleheads tried to run with that because it seemed out of character for Tom Terrific and then they realized, yeah, Patriots + Jets = Hate.  Growing up in Colorado and rooting for the Broncos before the John Elway era, I knew the Raiders were Evil but it was hard to see the Broncos as Good because they weren’t.  It was more like Mediocre vs. Evil than Good vs. Evil. 

This Sunday, when New England travels to the Mile High City, we have a game that rises to the level of The Fate of the Planet Hangs in the Balance.  The Hooded One and his Uruk-hai will challenge Saint Timothy and the Riders of Sports Authority Field.  Good vs. Evil. 

I used to get upset when the haters would hate on the Patriots.  Recently I realized I could hardly change the hearts and minds of 31 other fan bases (I do have day job) and decided to embrace it.  I think I finally understand how Raiders fans of the 70s and 80s felt.  It’s probably as close to feeling like a badass as I’ll ever get, even if it’s badass by proxy. 

Following my conversion I’m now looking forward to the Super Bowl replays they show on ESPN.  I’m waiting to watch the 2001 season and yelling, “Fumble!  Fumble!” when Brady tucks the ball.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 

Spygate?  Belicheat?  I’ve stopped quoting the Commissioner.  I’ve stopped quoting Jimmy Johnson.  I’ve stopped reminding people the Patriots went 16-0-0 after Spygate.  Screw it.  This ain’t the NCAA.  We ain’t giving back those Lombardi Trophies. 

Brady playing the refs?  Yeah, nobody else’s quarterback does that.  As his lower lip quivers and tears well up in his baby blue eyes, what else can the officials do but toss their yellow hankies that he might dry those tears from his chiseled cheekbones?

The Patriots have gone from lovable losers to one of the most hated teams in all of sports.  (Love the fact that three of Boston’s sports franchises are on that list.  Wicked good.)  You know how you get off a list like this?  

Not by making a rational appeal to reasonable, open-minded people (those people don't exist).  The only way you get off a list like this is by losing; losing insistently and for an extended period of time.  Losing big, losing late, losing on 59-yard field goals after freezing the opposing kicker, losing in overtime, losing in shootouts, losing by shutout, losing, losing, losing.

So, hate me.  Please.  Hate me.

Tim Tebow, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar…

And the bartender said, “Hey!  Take off that Tim Tebow mask you blasphemer!” 

Because, you know, Tim Tebow would never walk into a bar.

Certainly not with a rabbi.

Is there a gooder good guy than Tim Tebow?  He’s every mother’s favorite football player.  He’s an honest to goodness golly role model for her difficult teenage son with social behavior issues. 

He’s an honest to goodness gosh darned role model for Republican presidential candidates.

He is the indomitable spirit of man, throwing of the chains of conformity and the low expectations of the crowd.

Hating on Tim Tebow feels like drowning kittens with your bare hands.

Not that I know what that feels like.

Anyway. 

Good vs. Evil will be televised this Sunday, 4:15pm Eastern Time.